Bad Case of Loving You
by MyDirtyLittleSecret
Summary: Umeda's waited for years for Ryoichi to even look in his direction. When the fortune teller finally does things go bad quickly. Can Umeda move on or will he forever be caught in an endless loop of disappointment? Multiple pairs. UxR, UxA, and UxOC. Yaoi
1. Chapter 1Break Down

**Disclaimer:** I don't know own anything of Hana Kimi as badly as I may wish for it. Some wishes just don't come true.

**Warning:** This will be explicit yaoi (male on male) story. There will be several lemons, limes, and so on. If this is not your thing I suggest you back out now. Also these guys do have some potty mouths because most men do. For the sake of not getting kicked off it will be censured here. For uncensored versions look on or under the SN of Iarejedi on mediaminer or aff. Believe me it'll be worth it. There are spoilers for all chapters of Hana Kimi that have been released in the USA if you have not read that far. If you don't want spoilers stay away! These guys do have foul mouths and there will be angst because Umeda practically begs for it.

**A/N:**Yes, the name of the story is taken from the song by Robert Palmer. It just fits everything about this story. This story is just for Umeda because he's fun to write and explore as a character. He has so much depth and range that makes him fun to play with. I can not promise I will update regularly but I will do my best. I have a life too. :P I will not promise that this story will be very long either which may end up being a great thing. So anyways, if all the people not into yaoi have left...dive right in!

**Bad Case of Loving You**

By: MyDirtyLittleSecret

**Chapter One**

It had become routine now to meet Ryoichi at this bar at least once or twice every few months if their schedules allowed it. It wasn't an amazing place to meet by any means but it was their time. Or at least that was how Umeda had always seen it. He came time and again– despite knowing it was futile to hope– he thought that maybe this time Ryoichi would look at him in the way he had longed for. It was an endless cycle of built up hope and then disappointment every time. Yet no matter how many times he was disappointed by Ryoichi, Umeda could not stop himself from coming. He could not let go of that stupid bit of hope. He continued to cling to it because he was in love with Ryoichi. He had been for years. And years of the same routine were hard to break away from. Like a bad habit, it was hard to kick the desire to be loved by Ryoichi in the teeth no matter how hard he tried.

So yes, he was back in that bar beside Ryoichi that night. They sat in their customary spots, sharing cigarettes and knocking back drinks in their usual fashion. Umeda was pretending to be content with that. Ryoichi remained in his oblivious state of Umeda's struggle as always. Or so Umeda had thought. Things felt a little different tonight. Ryoichi had a slight edge to him this time. He seemed to be worried about something. Still when Ryoichi broke the lull in the conversation, Umeda had never expected to be this way.

"Hokuto?"

Umeda glanced over at his friend's beautiful profile. "Yeah?"

"You remember that kiss we shared in high school?" Ryoichi looked over at him seriously.

He knew his eyes must have grown about twice their size. Ryoichi had avoided this subject for years like it was plague. Why would he bring it up now? Of course, Umeda would never forget that kiss. Ryoichi was crazy if he thought he could. The feel of it was like a ghost on his lips. A haunter of his dreams. It had felt like it lasted forever but at the same time was to short. He remembered how he wilted under the onslaught of it. His legs had turned to rubber and Ryoichi had followed him down, only letting go when Umeda thought he was going to hit the floor. No one forgets a kiss like that.

"Yeah, I remember that kiss," was all he said. His stomach felt like it was in knots. Where was he going with this? Did he dare hope?

Ryoichi stared down at the shot of whiskey in his hand. "Why don't we ever talk about it?"

"I thought you never wanted to. I mean you obviously don't feel–," Umeda cut off abruptly. He shook his head at himself.

"Feel what?"

Umeda looked away, focusing his eyes on his cigarette. He had almost blurted out the truth he had been carrying with him all these years. All because Ryoichi had mentioned a kiss from 10 years ago.

"Nothing."

"You're lying sucks, Umeda."

Umeda gritted his teeth. "Why does it matter?" He wasn't going to spill his feelings to this man if he was never going to return them. He'd rather bury them. Maybe they would disappear someday. But if he said the words out loud then Ryuichi would know. They would never be able to go back to the way they are now. There would always be that ugly truth hanging between them. He couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk losing Ryuichi even if all he ever got was a few minutes every once in a while of the other man's time.

"I thought it meant something more than just a kiss to you," Ryuichi said quietly.

Umeda's stomach clenched tighter. His fingers squeezed tighter on his cigarette until he'd unwittingly crushed it. He tried to force his body to stop shaking but he couldn't. He felt like he was being torn apart. Of course it did! He wanted to yell. "It was just a kiss to you," he turned the words back on his friend.

"I wasn't talking about what it meant to me. I want to know what it meant to you," Ryoichi shot back, looking slightly annoyed.

"I thought that much was obvious," Umeda shot back sarcastically, picking up his shot of whiskey and knocking it back.

Ryoichi scowled. "If it was I never would have said anything."

"What do you want me to say? You want me to admit that I'm in love with you? That I have been for years and never said anything because you pretended like that kiss never happened? You want me to admit that no matter who I go out with or who I fuck I can never get you out of my mind? Is that it? Because fine, it's all true." Umeda snapped angrily, slamming his shot glass down on the bar. "Are you satisfied now?" He took a deep shaky breath before whispering hoarsely. "God dammit." He jumped to his feet and hurried out of the bar.

He felt like a stupid high schooler again. Dammit! Why had he said it!? It had been his secret for all these years. These feelings had been his silent hope and his foolish desire. And he had thrown them out there in the open for Ryoichi to see the ugly naked truth. There was no taking them back. There was no ignoring what had been said. The damage was done.

He jumped when a strong hand clasped his arm from behind. He didn't need to look back to know who's it was. He tried angrily to shake it loose. He didn't want to look back at the other man and see the rejection in his eyes. His struggle ended abruptly when Ryoichi jerked him roughly around and forced his back up against a wall.

"Damn you!" Umeda cursed. "Let go of me."

"Shut up!" Ryoichi growled. "Just shut up!"

Umeda stared at him in complete shock. He had the overwhelming sensation of deja vu. It was like they were re-enacting that moment before Umeda had first kissed the other man all those years ago, only the roles were backwards. It was not Ryoichi pressed flat to a wall but Umeda. He felt his heart begin to race as his body realized just how close the other man was. God, he couldn't stand it. He wanted to get away. He couldn't take this.

"Just shut up," Ryoichi repeated again fiercely.

Then suddenly his lips were crushed against Umeda's. The shock of it was so sudden that Umeda couldn't move. He was completely frozen in place. He felt his legs go limp just like that time Ryoichi had surprised him like this before. The intensity and the heat of the other man's lips on his was almost more than he could take. Desperate need and lust ignited in him as Ryoichi's mouth shifted to change angles over his mouth.

His hands came up with sudden speed to grip Ryoichi's jacket labels and drag him up tight against him. Ryoichi's fingers flexed against his arm where he still held on when Umeda began to kiss back with matching intensity. His kisses were sloppier and more frantic with the crush of his repressed emotions. When the other man's tongue outlined the bottom of his lip he almost fell down the wall. Only this time Ryoichi caught him and held him up, pressing him out flat against the wall. He whined embarrassingly in his throat when Ryuichi's tongue slipped into his mouth to twine perfectly with his own.

God, he waited so long for this. He'd _wanted_ so long for this. He felt like one of those silly girls in those stupid love movies, but he couldn't help it. His whole body was trembling with the force of his longing. Ryoichi's hands on his skin, the amazing feel of his tongue in his mouth, and the press of his body so wonderfully hot against him was everything he'd dreamed and wanted.

But then he tasted the strong flavor of alcohol on Ryoichi's tongue. He froze. Everything in him screamed for him to ignore it and continue, but his heart felt like it had stopped. He jerked his head back so fast he felt it smack off the wall behind him. He hissed in pain as his long time love stared at him in complete shock.

"What the hell, Hokuto?" Ryoichi growled.

Umeda felt sick to his stomach as reality began to slowly feed back in. "You don't want me. You just want sex. That's all this is about, right?"

"What the fuck, man? I thought you wanted this?" his friend snapped.

"You're drunk and all you want is sex. You don't give shit if it's me or not," Umeda shot back feeling the anger start to rise.

Ryoichi blinked in shock. "That's not it. Dude, stop fucking thinking and just go with it."

"Stop thinking about how I'm just being used? Or that I've waited half my life for this...for you? And now the only fucking reason you're doing this at all is because you've had enough whiskey back there to dull your fucking mind," Umeda shoved him off roughly.

"I'm not drunk, Hokuto! Stop acting like a fucking girl. I'm doing this because I want to," Ryoichi grabbed him before he could get away.

"Acting like a girl? Maybe I'd believe the whole not being drunk thing if I couldn't taste it strong enough to nearly choke me. So fuck you. I'm not gonna be your fucking toy," Umeda said as calmly as he could manage. He wasn't going to lose his cool and end up sounding like a stupid idiot. This guy pissed him off so bad. Why the fuck did he love him? Why couldn't he just forget about him?

Ryoichi gripped his arm a little tighter as he struggled to get loose. "Listen. Will you fucking listen to me!"

Umeda stilled, part of him wanting to stay and listen. The other half was telling him to cut his loses and run.

"I wasn't kissing you because I was drunk. I wanted to. I came here because I wanted you. I want you, Hokuto. Get it?" Ryoichi grated out slowly. Like each word hurt to push past his lips. Speaking up front was not this man's style. He hated being exposed like that.

The words and the struggle his friend had to make to say them spoke bounds to Umeda. Yet he still hesitated. Was this just a one time thing? Did Ryoichi actually give a shit about him? God, he wanted so bad to believe this man finally really wanted him, and not just for a night, but really wanted him. His whole body trembled at thought. He was afraid to believe. He'd been let down so many times.

"Hokuto," Ryoichi said his name softly. "I mean it."

Umeda swallowed hard. "Why now? And for how long?"

"I want you," was all the other man said.

Right then that was all Umeda wanted to hear. Everything seemed to blur after that. The taxi ride back to his place, the feel of Ryoichi against his side, and the endless wait to finally get to the door of his apartment. Oh God, by then Umeda didn't want to fight his desire anymore. He didn't want to think anymore. Not that he was going to since Ryoichi had forbidden it the moment they'd past the threshold of the door. He allowed Ryoichi to manipulate him through the hall into the living room in a way he would never allow anyone else too. He never submitted willingly to anyone. But for Ryoichi, he would do anything if only for a touch from him. In the deepest part of his soul he wanted to be dominated and owned. He would not allow it by anyone but Ryoichi. He didn't care that Ryoichi smirked at him when he nearly collapsed the second the fortune teller touched his hard length through his pants.

"You wanna be my bitch, Hokuto?" Ryoichi breathed in his ear.

Umeda trembled as that soft breath sent tingles down his spin straight to his groin. "Please," was all he could manage to gasp. He knew he sounded desperate and probably pathetic but he wanted Ryoichi so bad. Please, he wanted to beg until his voice gave out. Please, fuck me, break me, and make me yours. He couldn't say those words out loud. He didn't need to judging by the knowing look on the fortune teller's face.

He moaned brokenly when Ryoichi's lips crashed down on his in a fierce kiss with the same wild passion he'd shown at the bar. He didn't notice how the fortune teller had been steadily backing him into the bedroom and towards the bed until the backs of his knees hit the mattress. He tumbled over suddenly, startled from the vertigo and the loss of supporting hands. Ryoichi's warm hands were on his chest again a moment later, shoving him further up the mattress. His shirt was pulled off him in less than a second and his pants were yanked roughly away. His was warring between anger at this kind of treatment while the other was enjoying every moment of it. He brushed the anger aside. He didn't care what Ryoichi did as long as he could have him. He'd take the fortune teller anyway he could get him.

He reached up with equal force to pull Ryoichi on top of him. He grinned in triumph as the fortune teller crashed down onto him before Ryoichi's lips were back on his. His mouth nipped and sucked at Umeda's lips in a purely sensual manner. Umeda didn't think he could string to words together if he wanted to from the sheer force of arousal coursing through him. He arched his hips up into Ryoici's seeking any kind of relieving friction he could get. He growled when Ryoichi wedged his thigh between Umeda's legs. The move effectively raised Ryoichi up higher than the doctor's questing hips could reach. Umeda growled under his breath in frustration. Umeda felt the fortune teller chuckle against his neck at his reaction. Excited shivers raced down his spin making his cock twitch as Ryoichi moved his mouth lower to nip at the doctor's throat.

He growled low in his throat again. He had waited a long time for this kind of attention from Ryoichi, but he didn't think he could stand much more of this teasing. He wanted to be fucked until he couldn't walk. He needed it. In the back of his mind he knew this passion was to hot to last. It was like a flash fire that would burn itself out much to quickly. And he feared Ryoichi would come to his senses and it would all be over in an instant. He was desperate to be with this man while he had the chance. Those fears and insecurities were what drove him to behave with such unbridled passion and uncharacteristic lack of control.

His whole body arched and shuddered when one of Ryoichi's hands finally settled on his throbbing cock.

"Relax," Ryoichi soothed with a smirk.

Umeda wanted to hit him. "Just hurry up, dammit!"

"It's nice to know you want me that badly," the other man chuckled, giving him a smouldering look that made Umeda believe he could actually feel the heat in that gaze.

"If you don't do something soon I may just kick you out," Umeda threatened sharply. It was a useless gesture and he knew it.

Ryoichi knew it too. "Try if you can."

Umeda snarled in frustration. "Would you just do something already?"

That was all the invitation Ryoichi needed and seconds later Umeda was lost in pleasure, but he didn't care. It was just as wild, passionate, and amazing as Umeda had ever hoped for. He wrapped himself up in Ryoichi but more so in that feeling of bliss. He cried out sharp and breathlessly when the fortune teller sank into him. He tried to memorize the feel of Ryoichi inside him. He let everything else drift away as Ryoichi thrust into him over and over, hard enough to make his bed rattle. He didn't resist. He just allowed himself to fall into the motion and return it with everything he had in him. He gave himself away entirely to the fortune teller's body, not letting himself even doubt it would all be in vain. When he came it was more intense and powerful than anything he'd ever felt. It was even more incredible to feel Ryoichi coming right along with him. But in the end it was over far to fast.

He lay on his back staring at the ceiling, enjoying the lingering sensation of orgasm drifting through his system. He let his head fall sideways, following Ryoichi's motions as he got up to fish out a pack of smokes from his discarded pants. He watched in semi-interest as the fortune teller lighted two and handed one over. Umeda took a deep, long drag on the cigarette, holding the smoke in his lungs for an extra long second before breathing it out in a sigh. He glanced over to frown at Ryoichi, who remained seated at the edge of the bed. He felt the sick feeling of dread suddenly curl in his stomach. His fingers clenched around the cigarette he held. Something bad was about to happen. He could feel it.

He wasn't disappointed.

"I'm getting married," Ryoichi said, taking a drag from his cigarette.

The cat had finally been let out of the bag. The happy dream Umeda had been surrounding himself with blew apart. It was like an atomic bomb had just been dropped in his chest and shattered his heart to less than dust. He didn't know how to react. He didn't know what to think. His brain had completely failed him on what to say for the first time in years. All he could do was stare at Ryoichi's smooth back and watch that hand fiddle with his smoking cigarette. The only word he could come up with to say from his intelligent, highly educated mind was, "what?"

"I'm engaged to be married," Ryoichi reiterated.

The words still didn't seem to want to be understood in Umeda's mind. "Why? To who?" He felt like an idiot. Here he was sitting in his own bed, butt naked, cigarette burning to ash in his fingers and unable to string together more than two words at a time. He was to stunned by this news to get angry yet. What the hell had he even bothered to hope this was more than a lay?

"Because I love her that's why," Ryoichi said in his usual blunt manner, making Umeda feel more of a fool. "Her name is Nakamura Haruna. She was our high school student council president. We're moving to Tokyo."

"Then what the hell was this?" Umeda gestured between them briefly. He was beginning to feel the sparks of betrayal and rage course through his body.

Ryoichi glanced back at him before admitting. "I dunno."

"Bullshit," Umeda snapped.

"There were a lot of reasons. I needed to let you go. Maybe I thought this would help us both break away. Or figure out if this was something I wanted more. It's complicated," Ryoichi tried to explain, but he'd always been bad an expressing himself.

Umeda felt like someone was slowly choking him. He couldn't speak again for a long moment. So many feelings and thoughts were rushing through his mind in a tsunami wave of chaos that threatened to drown him. He didn't know how to deal with it all. He was completely blown away by the utter selfishness Ryoichi had displayed. The fortune teller had done all this with him purely for himself. He hadn't been thinking about Umeda or how much it would hurt him. Ryoichi had just done what he wanted, leaving Umeda used and then shunted aside once again. And somewhere in the back of Umeda's mind he had been expecting this. He had known it would happen, but he couldn't have stopped it no matter how badly he'd wanted to.

"Fuck," was all he could say. "Fuck."

Ryoichi turned to look at him finally. He finally showed a hint of remorse for what he'd done. He reached out to touch Umeda but the doctor flinched away. Umeda felt suddenly exposed and vulnerable. He felt like Ryoichi had stabbed him in the heart just to test out the sharpness of the knife he wielded. He wondered if the remnants of his heart was bleeding all over his bed. It sure as hell felt like it. He actually had to look down to double check that he wasn't. His normal reaction to yell, scream, and over react like the fag he was seemed to have been temporarily disabled. His brain felt numb and his body felt like a lead weight.

"Hokuto, I'm sorry–."

"Don't," he clipped out. Those words had struck the right nerve. Fury burned through him as he looked up to glare at the man he loved. "Don't. Because you aren't. You never are."

Ryoichi pulled his hand back and scowled. "That's–."

"You aren't," Umeda clenched his fists. "I waited for years for you. I kept hoping you'd love me because you never really told me no. Fuck, you had me so wrapped around you...You kept me chasing you for years, you son of a bitch!"

"Hokuto–."

"Don't! Shut the hell up! I don't wanna hear you try to make up excuses. You fucked me! For what? Your own selfish desires! Then you tell me you're getting married! It's like a bad shojo manga. You completely blow my mind!" Umeda practically shouted.

Ryoichi looked like his own temper was beginning to rise. "Would you let me explain!?"

"No! Get your clothes and get out! I don't wanna see you or hear from you again! So fuck you and congratulations on your engagement," Umeda snarled, before killing his cigarette in the ashtray and stalking to the bathroom. He slammed the door shut with a crash. He leaned back against, listening to Ryoichi gather his things. He didn't expect the fortune teller to come to the door and try to apologize again. Maybe he could have forgiven Ryoichi if he had. It was perhaps the first time he was not disappointed when it didn't happen. He distantly heard footsteps head down the hall and then the front door slammed shut.

It wasn't until the sound faded that he fell to pieces. He didn't cry. He refused to cry. He just sank to the floor, dropped his head in his hands and sat there trembling. He felt sick to his stomach as everything that happened began to sink in. He wanted to scream in rage and sob in overwhelming heartache. He wouldn't let himself do either. He felt weak and stupid. He didn't think he'd ever be able to get up again. He should have known better, he kept telling himself. He curled up against the door and didn't move again for a very long time.


	2. Chapter 2Top or Bottom

**Disclaimer: **Obviously not my mine.

**A/N:** Ok, I'm updating anyways despite the lack of response. For the love of God this story's had like almost a 100 hits and only 1 review! Wtf? Tell me you like or you don't. I don't care. I'd just like to know if it sucks or not. Many thousands of thanks to you dear Distraught Samurai for leaving me a review. :D Anyways, sorry for the rant. Here's the next chapter.

**Chapter Two**

It had been two days since Umeda had been to work. He had called in and told them he was ill with the flu. He wasn't in the mood to try to deal with spoiled, annoying high school kids, who thought their lives were so horrible. Hell, he barely had enough motivation to eat and pee besides sit on the couch all day in front of the tv. It was the spot he had found himself in after he'd finally been able to drag himself out of the bathroom. He didn't know how long he had sat in there on the cold tiles before he was able to find the will to want to move again. It was beyond words to say that he was pissed when the doorbell rang, jarring him from his tv induced trance.

He flopped his head over to glare at the door as if that would will the person away. The continued doorbell ringing persisted despite his best jedi mind trick attempts to rid himself of the irritation. After a long debated moment (and realizing whoever was at the door wasn't going away), he pushed himself up and shuffled towards the door. Maybe his horrid appearance would scare whoever it was away. He made quick work of undoing the lock then swung the door open just enough to peek around it.

"Ohayo, Umeda-sensei!!" Akiha's over eager, loud voice made Umeda wince sharply.

The door was slamming shut before the words were all the way out of Akiha's mouth. Unfortunately, the photographer managed to wedge his foot between the door and the door jam. Umeda growled angrily but slunk away from the door with out putting up anymore of a fight. He just didn't have the energy. He flopped back onto the couch. He sprawling out length wise so the annoying photographer could not sit down.

"I came by to check on you, Umeda-sensei. Mizuki-chan told me you were sick so I had to come!" Akiha grinned, bounding into the living room. "I brought miso soup and tea..."

Umeda hardly moved when the photographer came to stand by the edge of the couch. Akiha frowned as he surveyed the doctor. It didn't look like Umeda had showered in a day or two. There was stubble growing on his face, which the doctor never allowed. Dark rings smudged the sensitive skin under his eyes from lack of sleep. The near non-existent response to his antics was another tip off that something was very wrong. By now, Umeda should have been shouting at him to shut up and leave. He definitely would have tried to squish his foot in the door. May be the doctor was more ill than he thought.

"Umeda-sensei, are you dying!? What's wrong? Should I call an ambulance!?" Akiha dropped his armload of gifts onto the table and started reaching for the phone.

A pillow flew off the couch and smacked him in the side of the head with enough force to make him stumble sideways. "Ow!" he whined, glancing over to see Umeda's famous death glare. Ok, so maybe the doctor wasn't that sick after all.

"I'm not sick, Akiha. Now go away," Umeda snapped irritably.

"Not sick?" Akiha plopped down on the coffee table. "Then why haven't you been at work?"

Umeda sighed heavily. "I can't stand to be there right now."

"That doesn't make any sense," the photographer remarked. "What happened?"

There was a long stretch of silence only dispersed by the sound of the tv blabbering away in the background. Akiha began to wonder if the doctor was going to speak again at all.

"I fucked Ryoichi." The words were blunt and straight to the point. He didn't care if it upset Akiha to hear it.

The photographer went still and quiet for perhaps the only time in his life. A sinking sensation began to form in the pit of his stomach. The love of his life had finally gotten what he wanted. What did that mean for Akiha? And what exactly about that could have made Umeda so upset? He waited in silence for the doctor to explain more.

"He's getting married to some girl we knew in high school," Umeda spoke softly. The words tasted like acid in his mouth. "He told me that after he fucked me."

Akiha felt some of the pressure in his chest loosen. It felt terrible to be relieved about such a bad situation. Yet now the fear of losing Umeda to Ryoichi was finally gone. "That's shitty," he managed to say.

Umeda snorted rudely. "Not for you."

"I'm upset that he hurt you so much. Don't think I don't care," Akiha protested, despite knowing that's not what he meant.

"Oh I know you care, but only that he's finally out of the picture," the doctor sniped right on target.

Akiha sighed. "I'll admit that does relieve me. He was making you miserable. I just want to see you happy. And I think I could make you happy if you'd let me try. I love you, Umeda-sempai."

"I've told you I don't love you, nor do I have any interest!" Umeda snarled.

"Give me a chance. I know it's really soon to be asking after everything that's happened but let me try at least. I really do love you," Akiha sat forward with an earnest expression on his face.

"Akiha, you don't love me. So would you please quit this stupid puppy dog obsession you have with me!" Umeda snapped harshly. He'd had enough of being clung to and pursued despite every protest he made. "I can't put up with this right now. I really want to be left alone."

Akiha sat back and for the first time in a long time was completely speechless. If the doctor cared to look at him that moment he might have seen the devastation he had created from those few nasty sentences. "Why do you think I don't love you?" he finally found his voice after a long stretch of silence.

Umeda glanced over with an angry glare. "You just recently divorced. You're lonely. you suddenly run into me the, 'ex-flame from college days', and suddenly you love me once more. The whole thing's bullshit. Just like in college I was a distraction to all your problems at the time. That's all I am now. Frankly, I don't care enough to put up with it anymore. I'm tired of being yanked around and used. Now get out!"

Akiha stared in shock at the man sitting in front of him as though he had never seen him before. Umeda had always yelled and gotten annoyed with him but never had he been so thoroughly hateful. The most hurtful thing of all was that Umeda truly believed what he had just said. That he would think Akiha would use him like that was worse than an insult. But what could he say right now to make the doctor believe that. Umeda had just been severely hurt by the man he had pined after for years. The last thing he wanted or could deal with was Akiha. The photographer knew it was time to retreat.

"I'll go," Akiha stood up. His voice was subdued, but he refused to show how hurt he felt. "At least eat the miso soup before it gets cold. The students really do miss you at the school, or at least, Mizuki-chan does." He didn't look back as he walked to the door and left. He hated himself for not being able to get angry at Umeda's words to him. He hated himself for letting the doctor get to him so badly. He simply felt like his heart had been twisted around painfully in his chest. But still he found he couldn't be angry or hateful at Umeda. It was amazing and painful how totally in love he was with the doctor. How could Umeda believe what he said? He didn't think his heart had ever felt so close to breaking.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Umeda sat at his desk, but stared aimlessly out the window. It was his first day back to work since the Ryoichi incident. He'd decided staying at home wasn't going to help him get over the heartache. Besides he needed a paycheck. He couldn't keep skipping out of work. He wasn't going to let Ryoichi ruin his life. He needed to get back into familiarity. Besides work would help get his mind off things...or so he'd thought. Thus far no one had even come to his office all morning. Apparently the students hadn't missed him that much. Ungrateful little pukes.

He was actually relieved when the door swung open and Mizuki came in. Sometimes she could be so frustrating with her dense nature, but he did truly like her. She was smart, sincere, and sweet. She always managed to put things into perspective for him where she realized it or not. He couldn't help but admire her for her courage and willpower. He wished sometimes he could be the same way. As silly as that sounded for a grown man to think such a thing.

"Welcome back, Umeda sensei," she greeted with a warm smile.

Umeda felt himself smile back despite his gloomy attitude. "Thank you, Mizuki-chan."

"We all missed you while you were sick," she said.

"You mean you did," he remarked casually.

She smiled. "Alright, I did. I think the others did too."

Umeda shook his head. "Did anything happen while I was out sick?"

"Nope. I went to work for Akiha during the week," Mizuki told him.

"Really?" he could already sense her motives.

She nodded. "He was really quiet and very unlike himself. I was a little worried about him."

"He'll be fine." Umeda's answer was curt and unsympathetic.

"He said you got angry at him," she stated casually.

Umeda snorted. "When am I not?"

"This time was different, wasn't it? I think you really hurt Akiha's feelings. I don't really know what happened but he hasn't smiled in days," Mizuki remarked with her trademark concerned expression.

Umeda gritted his teeth. "Mizuki, it's none of your business."

"Well, you're both my friends. I just don't want either of you to be unhappy," she said quietly, looking down at her hands.

"As much as I appreciate your concern, Mizuki, I'm pretty sure I'm the adult here. I can take care of this myself. And I don't need advice from a kid," Umeda stood up, placed his hands on his desk, and leaned forward to give her his trademark glare.

Mizuki looked taken aback by his harsh words. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to help."

Then Umeda felt like a complete ass. The poor girl didn't deserve his wrath for just being herself. There was no point getting angry at her. "It's not your fault," he let the glare drop with a heavy sigh. "Don't apologize. I'm just over stressed."

"I understand, Sensei, but if you want someone to talk to...," she looked relieved at the change in attitude.

Umeda refrained from rolling his eyes. Really the girl's big heart was going to get her in to trouble. "Thank you, Mizuki. Akiha and I are not you're concern right now. Don't you have mid-terms to be studying for?"

Mizuki recognized the subtle dismissal and smiled despite still being worried. "You're right. I'll be going," she bowed quickly. She glanced back once as she left the room. The look on Umeda's face only increased her worry further. He looked exhausted but above all that he was sad. She knew when it was time to leave something alone for a little while though. The doctor had taught her that when it came to guys. So she held her tongue and closed the door firmly behind her.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Umeda ushered his last student out at the end of the school day. It felt like a day that would never end. All day it had been torture because in between the students coming and going there had been to much time to think. Everything that Ryoichi had done through out Umeda's entire life had replayed over and over the moment that door closed behind another student. He walked back over to his desk and flopped down into his chair. He felt in that moment in time, sitting there in his office, that he was totally alone.

Kami, he was tired...and he wanted. For once in his life he wanted someone to look at him and see _him._ He didn't want to be a distraction, a friend, or someone's fuck toy. He wanted to be needed because he was loved not for some other stupid superficial reason. Was that really all that much to ask for? At 27 years old, he felt like he had been living his entire life searching for something, coming close to it, and yet never quite catching it. He was sick of it–frustrated and angry.

He was surrounded by people all the time and yet none of them truly knew him. He was a doctor so the student came to him for aid. On their part that was all they cared about. He was just that crazy doctor. The few friends he had he held at a distance. He felt cut off even in the relationships he'd tried to be serious about. It was only ever about sex and the companionship while it lasted. There was never any true personal closeness. Yes, it was part his fault. He never allowed anyone in. And why?

The why of it he already knew.

The one person he wanted to truly know him had only ever acknowledged him when it was convenient. They had just been friends. Ryoichi had never really acted like his friend either. Friends confided in each other and were there for each other. They had never been that way. He would have been over joyed if he'd even gotten that kind of attention from Ryoichi. He'd been useful to Ryoichi only when he was needed. That was all. He never called Umeda just to say 'Hey, let's go hang out.' Foolishly, Umeda had hung around for years waiting. He'd longed for Ryoichi's attention like a drowning man yearned for air. He'd been drowning for years and slowly the air had all leaked away. Just thinking how long he'd chased Ryoichi made him feel old and even more alone.

He sighed heavily as he racked his fingers through his hair. He wished at the moment he had even a short term lover to take out some of the built up emotions on. He needed some way to get rid of the tension. There was no one though. The last lover he had fell in love with someone else and left him. The college boy had been a wonderful reprieve with no strings attached, but when he left Umeda had been alone once again.

He contemplated maybe going over to one of the male clubs were the younger gay community liked to hang out. He really didn't have the heart to. He wasn't in the mood try to pick up a quick screw or a two week affair. What he wanted was something more permanent. What he wanted was Ryoichi to wake up and confess his love to Umeda. That was never going to happen now. He'd been running on neutral for to many years now waiting for Ryoichi that he had no idea how to move on. He wanted it done with– really he did. He'd had more than he could take. He honestly wanted to let go. But how could he just erase everything he'd felt after so long. It had become an ingrained part of his nature.

"Fuck it," he growled. There was no sense staying around his apartment to get drunk and be lonely by himself. He needed a distraction. He needed a way to forget about Ryoichi

He got up and grabbed his jacket before heading to one of his favorite gay bars in town.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

"I've seen you here a lot. Do you mind if I ask your name?" a strong, confident voice interrupted Umeda's thoughts just by his right shoulder.

"Umeda Hokuto," he answered, with hardly a glance upwards. It was enough to confirm that it was a college kid that had wandered over to pouch him. He took another short drag on his cigarette, breathing out the smoke before he took another sip of his rum and coke.

The kid sat down beside him motioning for the bar tender to bring him a drink. He sat quiet for a moment before turning back towards Umeda. "I know you're not a college student. My friend, Wakase Reiji, told me you're a doctor."

Umeda's eye narrowed as a struggled to remember the name that went with that face. Then it came to him. That boy had been a college senior, bleached blond hair and expressive eyes, an enthusiastic lover and a great cock sucker. Umeda snorted in amusement at that thought. "Did he?"

"He said you were the best top he'd ever had," the kid remarked.

The doctor arched an eyebrow. He'd been called that quite a few times before. It was amusing every time to hear the kind of reputation he'd built up in this place. The kid's bluntness was also somewhat refreshing. He wasn't usually one to dance around what he wanted in the bedroom department. He tried not to think about the situation of his love life. The need for love didn't go past the doors of this club. All that belonged here was lust and want.

He remained silent, waiting for the kid to go on, knowing he would.

"I was wondering if you ever bottomed for anyone?" the kid looked him square in the eyes.

Umeda had to smirk. He turned his head to look at the kid directly for the first time. He let his eyes wonder over the college boy. He liked what he saw. The kid was pretty damn good looking. His black hair was cropped short and spiked with the tips of his hair dyed blue. He had a mature yet still youthful look to his face. His eyes were a soft almost liquor brown. He was tall, but not taller than Umeda. He had a hard, trim build to him that spoke of time spent on athletics. He wore a black shirt with a bright blue cross dividing it, black cargo pants, black fingerless gloves, worn black boots, and a collar around his neck. He definitely had the confident, bold look of a typical top. "I'll give you points for bluntness, kid, but I rarely play bottom to anyone."

"Not your kind of thing?"

"I don't do well with submission. And there's only one I'd willingly do that for," Umeda replied easily, tapping the ash off the end of his cigarette.

"Would you be interested in doing it for me?" the kid asked in a straight forward manner.

This kid was definitely starting to catch his attention.

"Why do you want me, kid? There's a dozen cute boy toys in here that would bottom for a good looking guy like you without hesitation. Go ask one of them," he took another languorous drag on his cigarette.

"Because I can't stop picturing your gorgeous face underneath me. I wanna see it for real," the kid looked earnest. There was no cheap pick up line involved in that confession. He'd just said what was on his mind.

Umeda stilled for a moment, considering, before he sipped at his drink once more. "You're serious about this, huh?"

"It only has to be once if that's all you want," the kid answered honestly.

"I hate to disappoint, kid, but I'm really not in the mood to play bitch."

The kid smirked back at him. "Then why are you here? You don't look in the mood to play top either."

Umeda paused. Stupid egotistical college brat. When did kids start getting so forward? For that matter, when did they start getting that damn good at reading people. He'd always prided himself on being an enigma. He never gave away what he really wanted. Honestly thought he was beginning to like the kid. "What's your name?"

"Tadame Sei."

Umeda stubbed out his cigarette and pinned the kid with his most intimidating sneer. "Sei-chan, what makes you think you could handle me?"

Tadame Sei didn't flinch at the stupid nick name or the look. "Because I enjoy a rough challenge."

"Is that all it is then?"

"No one's ever here for more than that."

"True enough." He made up his mind in less than a second. It was what he had come for. He needed rough right now. He needed to forget what his heart truly longed for. He needed to be screwed until he bled. Maybe it would erase the feel of Ryoichi branded inside him. "Let's get out of here," he said before standing up and shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

The kid didn't lie when he said he liked to ride it rough. He had to stifle his screams as his hands began to cramp from the force of the hold he had locked around his own bedposts. He didn't care. It was exquisite agony. Pain mixed into excruciating pleasure, burning through him in breath taking waves. For a few minutes, he pretended the white flames of painful gratification were eating away his insides to turn his soul to ash. He moaned low in his throat as Sei continued to pound into him from behind as sweat trickled down his spin. It was torture and it was mind blowing.

He growled angrily when the kid pulled out of him. He didn't protest again when Sei shoved him down on to his back before thrusting into him once again. He unlocked stiff fingers from the bed post to bury one hand in the kid's thick curls and clasped his ass with the other hand. He huffed out a pained breath when the kid pushed one of his legs up to his chest while the other was raised to drape over Sei's arm. The position was an odd one. He moaned deep as the angle changed when the kid began to pound into him once more. It was all he could do not to come undone from the depth and angle Sei's cock was reaching inside him.

He felt like he was going to shatter but he didn't want to let go yet. The kid wanted a challenge. He was giving him one, but he wasn't ready to give up just yet and let go. He trailed his fingers down the seam of his lover's ass before finding the kid's own opening. He watched Sei's face as he circled the opening. He smirked as Sei growled a warning. He laughed at the kid's anger in him for threatening his dominance. Well, he was no one's bitch no matter what the kid thought.

With that thought, he shoved two fingers inside the kid with out remorse to not having any lotion or lubrication to smooth the way. Sei hissed in sharp pain, thrusting into him rough and deep as his hips jerked forward in response to the invasion. The kid's hips stuttered as Umeda began to thrust fingers in and out, crocking them just so each time he nudged past that sweet spot. Could the kid keep up his relentless pace while he tortured him or would he fall short? Sei gritted his teeth; recognizing the clear challenge. He began to fuck Umeda harder as the doctor's fingers worked him into a frenzy.

Sei's hand came up to wrap around Umeda's hard length, sliding from root to tip with a firm stroke. Umeda groaned as he arched upwards, working desperately to keep his fingers moving as his body trembled. The hand on his cock moved with practiced ease, sending him rocketing into a whole new realm of heart pounding pleasure. They moved frantically against each other as their control began to slip and orgasm began to draw agonizingly closer. They worked each other harder until pain could no longer be distinguished from pleasure. It was all one. It was all sensation. It was fire through their veins and shockwaves down their spins. Then Umeda lost it, crying out in bliss as his orgasm crashed through him. He barely heard Sei follow him half a heart beat later. He was lost in his own crushing wave of mind numbing euphoria.

He came back down slow, panting hard, feeling the warm weight of Sei resting on him. For once his prickly nature didn't have him shoving the kid off. He definitely didn't mind that Sei was still buried inside him as he pressed soft, warm kisses on his neck. Somehow he hadn't expected the kid to be like this when it was over. He was more surprised by this then if the kid had jumped off and left as soon as he caught his breath. He would have been ok with that, but somehow this gentle show of attention was undoing him. It made his chest feel tight as he lay still, hand still cradling Sei's ass. Ryoichi hadn't touched him like this when they'd finished.

Then Sei raised his head and pressed an achingly soft, gentle kiss on Umeda's lips. He sucked in a sharp shuttering breath, trying to hold back the sob that welled up in his throat. He trembled as the younger man kissed him again just the same way. He didn't even notice when his arms wrapped themselves around the kid's back; nor the silent tears that trekked down his face as he surrendered completely. He let Sei kiss him into sleep.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

**Be a responsible reader and Review!**


	3. Chapter 3Frustration

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. I just abuse the characters.

**A/N:** Yes really. More abuse for Umeda...actually I lied. But there will be angst and more sex. If they seem a little OC I'm sorry. I'm really trying hard not to do that. Thanks for all you readers who were kind enough to review. You made me very happy because I feared the story was going to end up in the gutter. So remember keep reviewing and I'll keep supplying. Thanks again and enjoy this installment.

**CHAPTER THREE**

Umeda woke up face down in damp sheets–reeking of sex– but over that was the wonderful smell of fresh coffee. The bright red numbers of his alarm clock reassured him that he had woken up with plenty of time to spare. A day at work with a hangover was not looking like a whole helluva lot of fun. He groaned low in throat as he rolled over on to his back. God, he was sore. That was one hell of a fucking last night. It had been just what he needed. He had gone to the club to forget and pick up a fuck toy. Funny how he ended up being the one picked up. It had been the first time that had happened in a long while. It had made him feel hot and desired again. A feeling that had slipped away in the last few weeks thanks to Ryoichi. He flinched just thinking of that man's name.

He started when he heard the bedroom door open. He raised his head off the pillow to see Sei walking in with two cups of coffee. He pushed himself up onto his elbows before slowly pulling himself into a sitting position. Every sore spot in his body seemed to cry out at once. It been a long time since he'd felt aches in some of those spots. He scrubbed a hand down his face. He paused when he felt the dried tear tracks. The salty tracks felt gritty on his skin and so very revealing. When had he cried?

"I thought you'd be gone," Umeda remarked gruffly, voice roughened from sleep. He scrubbed his fingers at the tear trackers in hopes that they would disappear. He tried to cover up his unease at finding out how far he'd lost control last night. God, he probably looked like hell too.

Sei smiled, sensing the older man's discomfort. "I feel like I owe you for last night. That was a pretty mind blowing lay."

"Hence the coffee?" he smirked.

"Well, yeah. I figured you might need it," the college kid replied, holding out the cup.

_What the hell did that mean?_ Umeda tensed then forced himself to relax. _When had he become so defensive about everything?_ Fucking Ryoichi. He forced the thought of him away. "I do. Thank you," he took the proffered cup.

"Somebody tried to call you," Sei told him.

The doctor leaned over to grab his cell phone. He flipped it open and wasn't at all surprised to see Akiha's number glaring at him. He narrowed his eyes in disgust before tossing it back on the night stand. He didn't want to talk to the photographer for a while. He'd had enough of being jerked around.

"Someone you don't like?" the college boy asked.

Umeda snorted. "It's none of your business."

Sei watched him over the mug of his coffee. He shrugged off the curt response in favor of changing the subject. "So what do you do?"

"I'm a high school doctor for a bunch of ungrateful little pukes," he smiled at those words.

"I wish my high school doctor had been as hot as you. I would have been in his office a lot more," the college boy laughed.

The doctor shook his head before drinking more of his coffee. He quirked an eyebrow at Sei as the kid leaned over to take his cup away from him.

"You can be my doctor. You can check my prostate once a day," Sei gave him a sly look as he set both the coffee cups on the night stand. "How about you start now?"

Umeda chuckled as Sei slowly pushed him backwards onto the bed. He waited until the kid's weight had settled over him. He slid his foot up Sei's leg with a smirk before hooking his heel over Sei's knee and with a quick flex, flipped the kid onto his back. He pinned Sei's wrists to the bed before shoving his thigh between the college kid's legs.

"My turn," he breathed against Sei's ear and then nipped at the kid's ear lobe. Sei sighed and arched up into him but Umeda denied him any gratifying friction against his body.

"Fuck," Sei groaned in frustration.

A grin spread across his face. "You will be."

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Sei left the doctor's apartment, walking a little awkwardly. Umeda had sure given back twice what he received. The college kid only found that fair. Damn that man was an awesome seme. If he'd never been on top of the guy he never would have guessed that Umeda was just as amazing as an uke. He probably would have been perfectly happy being the one taking it. Still he'd never forget the way the doctor looked with his cock buried in him. Damn, that was so fucking sexy.

He glanced down at his watch. "Shitཀ" he gasped. He'd promised to meet his best friend over at their favorite restaurant. He hadn't realized it was so lateཀ

After racing for the nearest bus stop, he just barely made it on to the one running in the direction he needed to go. Thankfully, he got to the restaurant only a few minutes after the specified time they'd set up. He felt a little guilty about it but not enough to put a damper on his happiness. He found his friend sitting at their favorite table, tapping his fingers on the table top.

"Reiji-kun," he greeted with a smile.

The cute uke returned his smile. "Sei-kun, you're late again."

"I know, but I had a good excuse," he replied.

"Uh huh. Did you miss your bus again?" Sei teased.

"Nope. Remember that perfect top you were always bragging getting laid by?" Sei asked his friend.

Reiji grinned. "Of course. He was unforgettable."

"Yeah, he is," Sei laughed.

"He topped you too?" Reiji asked as he leaned forward in interest.

Sei nodded, then grinned. "After I topped him."

His friend's jaw dropped open. "What?ཀ"

"I topped him."

"No way. You're lying," Reiji was disbelieving.

Sei pretended to look irritated. "No, I swear. I know where he lives."

"He brought you to his placeཀ? Where'd you find him?"

"He was at that club we all like to hang out at. I walked over and asked if he'd play bottom for me," Sei told his friend.

Reiji still looked taken aback. It was almost to incredible to believe. "But how did you get him to say yes? I didn't think his type played bitch to anyone."

"I think I caught him at a weak moment. He didn't resist as much as I thought he would. But, God, top or bottom he is amazing," Sei sighed. A dreamy look passed over his face.

"I told you. It's like he's got innate sex talent. He's so hot," Reiji agreed.

Sei nodded. "He's got sinful lips."

"And those eyes could melt a person into a puddle," Reiji got a dreamy look on his face.

"I wanna fuck him again," Sei said firmly.

His friend snorted. "No way. He's pure top. He'd never let you do that again."

"Bet I can." Sei spoke confidently.

"Good luck with that," Reiji rolled his eyes.

Sei dropped the ego act. "I wanna know him. He's got this weight he carries around like a personal cross." The man was beautiful, but Sei would never forget those silent tears that night. The calm, distant persona the doctor had presented at the club had completely shattered when Sei had taken him. That man he'd held in his arms that night when he fell asleep was the man he wanted to get to know.

"You think he's madly in love with someone?" Reiji asked curiously.

Sei remembered the ignored phone call and the tears. "I'd bet on it."

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

It was the end of the school day finally. To Umeda, it had seemed like the day would never end. Nothing but bothersome accident prone kids wondering into his office all day. He had enough irritation without all that. He knew it was his job, but today it had been the day for stupid injured. Especially trivial shit like a freaking scraped kneeཀ Wash it yourself kid and put a band aid on itཀ He had wanted to yell that so bad it hurt. Despite, his more than usual short temper, the kids just kept coming inཀ

It was all over now. He was packing away all his equipment and locking up for the day. This was his time when he could relax from a stressful day by losing himself in organization of his work space. He was just getting to the point when he could breathe easier again. Suddenly, loud familiar footsteps interrupted the previous blissful silence. Umeda felt his heart sink into his feet. _God, not now__ཀ_He thought angrily just as Akiha slammed the door open.

Umeda's eye twitched as he fought the urge to throw something lethal at the overly jovial photographer. Perhaps the evil rot-in-hell look was harsher than normal, because it made Akiha pause. That was a first. It certainly wasn't enough to deter him. It never was.

"What the hell do you wantཀ" Umeda half yelled in irritation.

Akiha grinned. "I am here to cheer you upཀ"

"It would cheer me up immensely if you turned around and left," he replied acidly, side stepping the younger man's intended hug..

"But you look forward to my visitsཀ" Akiha protested, cheesy smile never leaving his face.

Umeda felt a headache coming on. "I look forward to the door closing behind you when you leave."

"But don't you get lonely when you don't see me?" Akiha whined.

"No, I don't. I have other people I'd rather see," Umeda snapped.

Akiha went quiet for a moment. Other people? Umeda had never been much of a socialite when it came to people. Not unless it involved picking up another temporary boyfriend. His breath froze in his throat. Umeda wouldn't have done that yet? Would he? It was way to soon after a heart break to be rebounding off someone. Concern welled in his chest. He found himself asking before he could stop it. "You found someone else to be with?"

Umeda answered caustically. "He found me."

"Who?" Akiha inquired, trying to hide the hurt.

"Why's it matter to you?" Umeda glared at him.

Akiha couldn't hide the hurt from the doctor this time. "You know I love you."

"No, you don't," Umeda replied coldly. He stepped back and took one last look at his office. Everything was in place for tomorrow's school day. He shrugged out of his doctor's coat and hung it on the peg by the door. Akiha watched the doctor pull on his trench coat before gathering up his wallet, cell phone, and keys. Everything Umeda did spoke of a man who liked having everything in order. It was a conflicting image with the passionate nature of the doctor. Akiha followed Umeda out the door and waited patiently as the doctor looked up.

"How can I convince you that I really love you?" Akiha asked with a bit of a whiney tone, as Umeda began to stride down the hall.

The doctor looked over his shoulder in annoyance. "You can't. And I don't see how that has to do with my love life."

"Ok, fine. Don't you think it's a little early to be starting new with someone?" the photographer asked, changing the subject.

"No, I don't. And I'm not starting over," Umeda shoved his hands into his pockets.

Akiha sighed as he stayed close by his friend's side. "I understand, but rebounding with someone isn't a good idea. It's only been a week since–."

"I'm not reboundingཀ" Umeda growled. He wasn'tཀ But even to him that sounded pathetic. "The kid found meཀ If he wants to fuck me that's his thing."

"So you'll take anyone? Even a kid?" Akiha stared at him in shock.

Umeda scowled at the photographer. The photographer was seriously beginning to piss him off. Since when had his life become Akiha's businessཀ And did he really think that Umeda would go for a fucking kidཀ? "What'd you take me for? He's a college student."

They walked out the side doors of the school and made their way down the sidewalk together. Umeda strode swiftly, knowing the faster he walked the sooner he could get rid of the bother by his side. This conversation was really beginning to get on his nerves.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you," Akiha could see the invisible feathers getting ruffled on Umeda's back "What if this kid falls for you?"

"What about it? He's a freaking adult. He can take care of himself," the doctor replied cooly. It was getting harder to hold down his temper. Thank God they were nearing the front gate so he could get away.

Akiha frowned. "That's mean. I still don't think it's a good idea. You just had your heart broken."

"You know what–," Umeda came to an abrupt stop by the wall surrounding the school. "Why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

"But–?"

The doctor finally lost it. "Shuttupཀ I'm sick of hearing your opinion on everything I doཀ Stop talking about my life like you know somethingཀ"

"If you would just give me a chance–?" Akiha never finished the sentence.

Umeda grabbed Akiha by his jacket and swung him around into the wall. The doctor was so angry he couldn't think straight. He wanted to punch the blond for acting like he knew everything about what was going on. The urge to pound his head off the bricks was almost unbearable. Instead, he pressed in and crushed his lips to Akiha's. He didn't know why he did it. It was by no means an act of lust instead of anger. It was the only way he could think to truly hurt the photographer in a way that would sink in. He assaulted the blond's mouth with teeth and tongue, forgetting where he was, and only focusing on causing pain.

Akiha whimpered pitifully as Umeda's teeth bit into his lip until it bled. It hurt like hell, but the rough treatment was turning him on as much as it was hurting him. His hands flexed uselessly against Umeda's chest. He couldn't decide whether he wanted to push the doctor away or pull him in closer. The doctor kissed Akiha until he couldn't breathe and the pain in his mouth was almost unbearable. When he thought he couldn't take it anymore, Umeda broke away. The doctor shoved Akiha back against the wall one last time before stalking away. Umeda wiped at the blood on his lips without bothering to even look back.

The blond swiped at the blood dripping down his chin from the bite Umeda had inflicted on his bottom lip. That was going to hurt for a while. He sighed heavily staring at the blood on his fingers. Well, at least Umeda hadn't punched him. Still Umeda had never been angry enough to hurt him in any way before. He knew he'd gone to far with that last remark. He had the feeling of being watched and glanced over. Mizuki, Sano, and Nakatsu were staring at him in equal parts of shock, disgust, and concern between them.

"Akiha-san, are you alright?" Mizuki asked tentatively.

He swiped at the still bleeding cut again. Why did the small cuts always bleed so much? "Yeah, I just pushed him to far."

"You think so," Sano remarked coldly. Mizuki elbowed him roughly.

"Whatever. That was disgusting," Nakatsu scowled. "Two guys shouldn't be doing that in public."

"I'm sure Umeda did it just to spite _you_," Akiha said irritably. He didn't need kids giving him lectures. Damn, now he was starting to sound like Umeda.

Mizuki looked worried. "He's been really stressed lately–."

"You don't have to cover for him, Mizuki-chan," Akiha said quietly. "It was my own fault."

Mizuki watched in concern as the photographer walked away with a defeated slump to his shoulders. Whatever was going on between the two adults was unsettling. She wished there was something she could do to help them both. It was sad to see the doctor treating Akiha that way when really the photographer only had the best of intentions. Why did adults have to make everything so difficult? She hoped for bother their sakes that they worked something out soon before someone got really hurt.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Umeda felt like screaming in frustration when he walked down the hall to his apartment door and saw Tadame Sei waiting beside it. Fuck, this was getting ridiculousཀ Just what did all these guys want from him? Akiha wouldn't leave him alone. Now this kid. All he wanted was to get inside his apartment, stretch out on the couch, and bury himself in a bottle of sake. He was not in the mood to deal with another horny male. Least of all this fucking kid who'd seen him cry for God's sakeཀ He still couldn't believe he'd let himself break down that far. Why the hell was this kid here anyways?

"What do you want?" Umeda snapped angrily as he walked up to his door.

The kid eyed him thoughtfully. "To fuck, of course."

"You had me already. I don't give do-overs," Umeda answered flatly. He kept his back to the kid as he unlocked his apartment door. To his irritation, his cock had already jumped to attention just from the word 'fuck'. Why couldn't his body listen to his mind for once? He didn't want to fuckཀ

Sei reached out and ran his hand down the doctor's back to cup his ass. The tension in Umeda's body thrummed through him. Sei decided not to comment on it. "It's not a do-over. It's a do again. What have you got to lose?"

"I'm not your bitch. Go find some pretty boy to fuck," Umeda spat out as he opened his door.

"I would if I believed you," Sei smiled at his back. He trailed his hand around Umeda's hip to cup his arousal. "This is giving me a different answer though."

Umeda growled angrily. "Get off me." Fucking intuitive kid. He turned to yell at the kid but was met with a fierce kiss instead. Lust bolted down his spin straight to his cock. He was moving before he realized it. All his pent up angry and frustration welled up inside him with frightening intensity. His hands were on the kid's shirt and yanking him inside as their mouths fought for dominance. It was a wild, furious few minutes as they struggled for the position of seme. Clothes were ripped off and tossed aside. Their hands, mouths, and bodies flexed, fought, and scrambled against each other. They stumbled through the apartment, banging into the walls and over furniture. Umeda somehow found himself backed up against the dining room table. He cried out sharply as Sei's teeth sank into his neck and sucked hard. The world seemed to revolve as he was spun around then found himself bent over the table. He didn't care. He braced himself up with his hands, whining embarrassingly as Sei thrust into him hard enough to shake the table.

He dropped his head down between his arms, whimpering and scrambling to stay upright as Sei pounded into him from behind. He didn't even try to stifle the sounds escaping his throat. He let lust take over, cloud his senses, and lost himself to the feel of Sei's body. God, he loved the feeling of being so filled it almost hurt. Their pace was sloppy, rough, and hard. Neither gave a shit to the noise they were making. All they cared about was the jarring pleasure that was shooting through every nerve in their high strung bodies. It was over much to fast. He came without Sei even having to touch his cock. He collapsed onto the table top as the college kid went over the edge. He groaned deep in his chest when Sei pulled his cock free. The feel of cum spilling out of him and trailing down the back of his thighs made him shiver.

"You're so beautiful, doc," Sei murmured against his skin as he kissed a pattern down Umeda's back to his ass.

Umeda let out a shuddery breath and smiled, enjoying the loose, fucked out feel of orgasmic after glow. He really did love being a bottom despite how little he let someone have him. He liked being taken and dominated like that on some strange, twisted level in his brain. It made him feel wanted. Whether the kid realized it or not, Umeda needed this more than he was willing to admit.

He moaned softly as Sei caressed his still semi-hard dick in one hand. The other hand smoothed over the skin of his hips and ass. It was a calming gesture, but one that was beginning to rekindle the desire again. A quick glance back proved it was the same for Sei. He sometimes forgot how fast youths could recover from sex. He was getting older and a little more mellow but his body still reacted faster than most his age. Without thinking on it further, Umeda shoved all the crap off the table and onto the floor. He turned around in Sei's arms to hoist himself up onto the edge of the table. Sei's eyes went wide with delight and lust as Umeda hooked his legs around the kid's waist and drew him in closer.

He reached up to pull the kid's mouth down into a bruising kiss. He pulled back and smirked at Sei. "Again?"

Sei swallowed hard at the lusty look in the doctor's eyes. His cock twitched hard as he took in Umeda's disheveled hair, intense amber eyes, and flushed face. His gazed wandered from that beautiful face down the doctor's lithe, lean body and stopped at his perfect cock. The doctor was living beauty. He wanted to fuck him again in an instant. He shoved the doctor down onto his back before yanking his legs up over his shoulders. He took deep delight in the sharp gasp that escaped Umeda as he slammed back inside the doctor's tight entrance. The man was so unbelievably tight around him. It was exquisite torture. Their wild dance of sex began all over again. Both were swept away on the tide of pleasure they found in each other's bodies. Time was lost to them as they moved in perfect sync with each other. It didn't seem to take long before they both came again.

Sei pulled out and flopped back into one of the chairs. He felt loose, tired, and completely sated. Twice within the space of an hour was pretty good, but he still wanted more. Fucking the doctor was an addiction worse than any drug. He looked up at Umeda, who was once again sitting on the edge of the table, leaning back on his hands. He seemed calmer and softer than Sei had ever seen him. Apparently, fucked out looked good on the doctor, because it made him want him again. He hadn't been this horny for someone in a long time.

"You know for a top, you really seem to like bottoming," Sei remarked with a smirk. Umeda shrugged as he lighted up a cigarette and blew a puff of smoke into the air. _Damn, those sinful lips_, Sei thought. He wanted to see those lips stretched around his cock. But he'd save that for another time.

Umeda felt drained, but so very satisfied. He finished off his cigarette with a soft sigh. He stubbed it out before forcing himself to get to his feet. Exhaustion tugged at him. It had been a long stressful day and he hadn't fucked that hard in a while. He was ready for some sleep. He heard Sei follow him as he headed for the bedroom and his wonderful mattress. He collapsed onto it as soon as he was close enough. Sei chuckled before pushing him over and settling in next to him. Umeda didn't protest when the kid pulled the covers up over them then pulled the doctor's unresisting body into his arms. A soft smile of contentment crossed Umeda's face. He liked the feel of being held like he was appreciated. They fell asleep, curled against each other.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Be a responsible reader and review!

Your opinions matter to me and I need to know how I'm doing. To over the top? Where does it need improving? Didja like it. Be constructive. I'll appreciate your efforts.

Like I said I tried to make it as unOC as possible. In my opinion, I've been in similar situations in both Akiha and Umeda's spots. It's never pleasant. I'm hoping my own experiences have helped to write an honest reaction on both their parts. Anywho, until next time!


	4. Chapter 4Defining

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Sei. And if you try to steal him there will be pain...

Warning: Lemon in this chapter like always. They'll be at least one in every chapter so get over it if you don't like it. Or read past it. Either way. shrugs

A/N: Yes another chapter! :D This chapter is dedicated to Ketsueki-Ken. Your review was so sweet and somehow incredibly pushy about uploading the next installment. So thanks to you the story continues on. :D Also, I'm glad most of you like Sei-kun so far. I'm getting very attached to him myself. He's such a fun character to write. I'm so glad everyone's taking to him. OC's are usually met with such opposition.

I also thought you guys might want to see what Sei-kun looks like. So I drew him up for you guys. Here's a link to his pic:

http: / www . mediaminer . org / fanart / view . php / 196479

Make sure you take out all the spaces.

Now onto the story!

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I**

Umeda woke up to a damn bird chirping much to happily outside of his window. The second thing he noticed was that his arms were full of a very warm body. The third was that Sei's hot breath was tickling the hairs just below his ear on his neck. Despite all that, he was warm, comfortable, and relaxed for the first time in weeks. He would never admit it aloud but it was nice to wake up next to an another person. It seemed such a rare occurrence. He shifted his arms around Sei so that he was cradling the kid a little more comfortably. He began to idly stroke down the length of the kid's back. He heard a soft murmur of contentment and couldn't hold back the smile.

He felt so out of himself like this. This was so out of his element, so completely foreign, and God how he wished for more of it. He'd hoped for years that someday it would be Ryoichi he woke up to like this. That would never happen now. Maybe that was all for the best. The guy probably never would have let him hold him like this. Maybe Ryoichi was right to leave him with only a fuck to remember him by and not a relationship that had ended in failure.

Sei's bangs continued to tickle the side of his neck until he just couldn't ignore it any longer. He reached up to push the hair away from the kid's face. Gentle fingers brushed away the annoyance, leaving Sei's face open to his gaze. It was the first time Umeda had really looked at the kid's face since that night at the bar. Everything had been moving so quickly when ever they were in the same proximity. Now, he took a moment to study Sei's face. With all the black trappings off that the kid wore, Sei seemed much softer. In sleep, his face was even younger looking. He really was a good looking kid.

The doctor let his eyes run over the rest of Sei's body that he could see. The kid was a lot stronger looking then his stature implied. Umeda let his mind wander over last night and had to smile. Sei had handled the doctor a lot easier than he would ever admit. He'd had the sense that the kid could really hurt someone if he wanted to. His muscles were pretty damn built. Yet, he'd grappled with Umeda and held back enough not to hurt him. Sei had actually managed him quite while, and the doctor had to admire that.

Umeda was getting aroused just thinking of the previous evening. He let his hand trace down Sei's spin to cup the kid's ass. Sei groaned softly in the back of his throat before thrusting his pelvis into the doctor's thigh. The doctor was pleased to feel the kid's answering arousal pressed against him. He looked up to see Sei's puppy brown eyes watching him lustfully.

"You make me hard, doc," the college kid grinned at the cliqued words.

Umeda snorted, before chuckling at Sei. A quick push had Sei lying flat on his back. The doctor sat up, flung his leg over the kid's body, and settled onto Sei's lap. He smirked at the startled look on the kid's face. "Are you ready for another round?" Umeda grinned, rubbing his cock against Sei's.

Sei shuddered and nodded his agreement. He blinked in shock as Umeda snatched the lube off the night stand. He poured a generous amount on to the kid's dick swiftly. The doctor tossed the bottle to the side before shifting back into position. Sei's eyes widened further as the doctor spread himself open before spearing himself on Sei's cock without any preparation. "Fuck, I thought older guys were supposed to start losing their sex drive," Sei groaned. The doctor was in rare form this morning.

Umeda chuckled. "Not this one."

He rose and fell on Sei's hard length, groaning in satisfaction as the kid's cock hit him just right. Beneath him, Sei's head ached back against the pillows. His hand's came up to grip Umeda's hips tight as he rolled his hips languorously up against the doctor's. This time they fucked slow, Umeda taking him in deep and with a flex to his hips that had Sei whimpering loudly for more. Begging wouldn't make the doctor fuck any faster. The build up to orgasm for both of them was sweet and yet so torturous. It snuck up on Sei before he was ready. Suddenly he was coming so hard and fast that he couldn't hold back the shocked yelp that burst out.

He opened his eyes, still breathing hard after his orgasm, to see Umeda smirking down at him. Sei's softening cock was still clutched inside the doctor's tight heat. He glanced down and wasn't surprised to see the doctor hadn't gotten off yet. Sei had come a lot sooner than he had meant to. Apparently the older guy had better stamina than the younger, and Sei found that amusing. He slipped his hand down between their bodies to grasp Umeda's cock firmly in his hand. The doctor let out a shivery whine that Sei was beginning to truly love. No one else could make that sound seem so fucking sexy.

He jacked the doctor off with strong, firm strokes and adding a twist over the head of his cock. Umeda clutched at Sei's shoulders, arching his hips up into the college kid's skilled hand. He startled a little when the kid's other hand slid up the length of his chest. He sighed heavily as those caressing fingers danced over his sensitive nipples. Sei's thumb rubbed just so over the slit of his weeping cock as he pinched at the doctor's nipples. The combination of both erogenous touches was enough to send Umeda over the edge.

He slumped forward, letting his forehead rest on Sei's naked shoulder. He felt drained, loose, and so very satisfied. He managed to raise himself up off the kid's cock then up off the bed. He made a bee line for the master bathroom attached to the bedroom. The bed creaked as Sei got up to follow him.

"Who invited you?" Umeda smirked as he opened the shower stall door.

Sei pouted at him. "C'mon, Doc."

Umeda pulled the kid in for a deep kiss. "Alright, but no splashing soap in my eyes."

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I**

It had been two weeks since Tadame Sei had decided to start showing up regularly at Umeda's door. The first few times, the doctor barked at him for appearing without being invited. Sei merely smiled and waited until they were inside the apartment to jump the doctor. Umeda didn't protest for to much longer after that. Much to the doctor's feigned irritation, Sei had begun staying over night on the evenings he showed up. It was a nice comfort to fall asleep regularly with someone else that Umeda would never admit to.

Saturday morning, at the end of the second week of this odd relationship, found the two still snuggled in bed together. For once, neither was really in the mood to have sex right after they woke up. So they were enjoying a smoke together as the sunlight filtered in past the blinds. It was a peaceful, calm start to the day. Sei decided now was the time to get the answer to the question that had been bugging him since the night before.

"So should we define whatever this is between us?" Sei asked curiously, as he snatched a drag off Umeda's cigarette.

The doctor gave a sarcastic snort. "You seem to think you've become a fixture after only two weeks."

"Well haven't I?" Sei laughed cheerfully.

Really, this kid was far to confident sometimes. He acted like he could waltz in a room and get whatever he wanted on charisma alone. But really that seemed to work just fine for Sei, which was somehow amusing and irritating at the same time. "Despite my unwillingness," Umeda smiled.

"Uh huh, which is why you never turn me away when I show up at your door," the kid laughed as he leaned over to snuffle against the doctor's neck right where it tickled the most.

Umeda rolled his eyes as he batted the kid away.

"I'd rather be called something other than a fixture though," Sei pressed nonchalantly.

"Hnn," the doctor smirked around his cigarette. "You could be my pet. You already wear a collar."

Sei laughed lightly. "I dunno. You're not gonna nick name me Momo, are you?"

"Do you modern dance?" Umeda joked back.

"No. I think I'd break something," the kid grinned.

The doctor replied dryly. "Well then no, I wouldn't."

"So being a pet is out," Sei remarked.

Umeda glanced sideways at the presumptuous kid. "Is the 'defining' really necessary?"

"Yes," Sei responded promptly. "I need to be able to but a title to you when I talk to my friends. Otherwise, you'll just be referred to as 'that guy.'"

"To be reduced to such a status would be shameful," Umeda sighed disparagingly. "Well, we are not dating, so I am not your boyfriend. And if I find out you are calling me that I will knock the 'gay' out of you. You'll be running for pussy."

"Horrifying," Sei shuddered, eye twitching.

"Honestly, I think of you as my sex toy," Umeda remarked, ashing out his cigarette.

Sei grinned widely before snickering. "Well then I guess you're my sex toy too–since I fuck you more than you fuck me."

Umeda narrowed his eyes threateningly at the arrogant kid. Sei put up his hands in a gesture of surrender. The doctor snorted rudely. Really this kid was just to forward sometimes.

"Hmmm...sex toy, huh?" Sei got a devilish gleam in his eyes. He leaned forward to nip at Umeda's collar bone. "Does that mean I get to bend and play with you any way I want?"

The doctor actually flushed at the obscene images that popped into his head. His cock jumped instantly to attention as Sei's warm breath dampened his skin.

"You really should be more respectful to your elders," Umeda groused.

Sei chuckled and the feel of it vibrated against the doctor's skin."My apologies, old man." He yelped as Umeda swatted him over the head. "Ow," he whined.

"I have paperwork to do. Now get going," Umeda growled, shoving Sei away.

"But can't it wait? I was hoping for another round. Looks like you are too," the kid leered, rubbing his fingers over Umeda's cock through the fabric of his pants.

"I'm already behind because you. Now out! Go bother Reiji," Umeda barked.

Sei sighed and whined like a scolded puppy. Umeda could almost picture the down cast ears and tucked tail. The kid didn't argue any more though. He got up and pulled on his clothes, still keeping up the pitiful act. He was at least smart enough to retreat when he was told to. Sei had no desire to find out what the doctor's real wrath was like. Still he couldn't resist teasing Umeda. The doctor was so hot when he looked annoyed. He finished tugging his socks on and replaced the collar around his neck. He then sidled over to Umeda's side of the bed. Sei kept his head down and gave his best abused puppy look. The doctor looked at him askance for a second before turning his face up. Sei smiled with delight before leaning down to place a long, sweet kiss on Umeda's lips.

Sei pulled back and grinned. "I wonder, Doc, who's taming who?" Umeda scowled and raised his hand to wack at the kid again. Sei had already jumped out of his reach and out the bedroom door. "Bye, Doc! I 'll be back soon!" the kid called from down the hall.

"Shut up, you arrogant brat!" Umeda yelled after him. He didn't bother to hide his smile as Sei's laugh echoed from the entrance hall. A moment later, he heard the door slam shut.

It was somewhat refreshing to have a boy toy again. It had been sometime since the last. Mostly, because he hadn't been up for more than a string of flings or pretending that it meant more than sex. He'd dated around over the years but never anything permanent. Sei was a nice change it all. He wasn't like any of the others. Well, of course not. Sei wasn't the regular uke–Umeda was. That was what was the most unusual of the whole thing.

However, Sei's overall personality was unlike what he was used to. The only other person that laughed at his annoyance was Akiha. Sei was no where near as abrasive as the photographer's presence could be. The kid was pushy sometimes, but he knew when to back down. And he could read Umeda's emotions like a freaking book. That was both disconcerting and annoying. If Akiha slowed down his head long pursuit and took some stock of Umeda's emotions, maybe the photographer would have a chance. The thought freaked the doctor out a little bit.

_Whatever_, he thought in disgust.

So what if Sei was sometimes way to open, arrogant, and overly confident? Umeda found it mostly amusing. The kid had charm, a bewitching smile, and puppy eyes that could swindle a woman out of her entire paycheck if he tried. The kid was refreshing and entertaining, because of the certainty of how he handled himself. And for the moment, Umeda decided he'd let Sei stay around for a little longer. Because, hell, the kid really was freaking amazing in bed.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I**

Umeda had gotten used to seeing Sei leaning against the wall by his door every other day after he got off work. In a short amount of time they'd developed a certain kind of routine. Days after Sei's college classes, he would bring along his homework bag. Umeda would do paperwork or write for his articles while the kid studied. Sometimes the doctor would help Sei out when there was something in his text he didn't understand. During their little group work time, the TV would be on blaring extra noise. Neither really watched it but some how it helped them concentrate. Some evenings Umeda would even cook dinner while Sei helped him chop ingredients. It was a soothing rhythm to the end of the day that the doctor was beginning to look forward to. It was so strange how the kid had established himself into Umeda's routine so quickly. This might have actually been annoying if the doctor didn't enjoy it so much.

So he wasn't surprised when he walked down the hall to his apartment to see Sei by his door. He expertly fended off the kid's questing hands as he unlocked the door. Sei followed after him, hanging back as Umeda went through his daily getting home from work rituals. The kid watched in amusement as the doctor arranged his shoes in a particular fashion by the door. Umeda then proceeded through the little entrance hall and into the kitchen to put on a pot of tea. Sei skipped into the living room, snatched up the remote, and switched on the TV to the news. He sprawled on the couch while he listened to Umeda move about the apartment.

Sei waited patiently until the doctor came into the living room, carrying two cups of tea. Umeda had changed into a comfy pair of worn jeans and a button down white shirt. He looked casually sexy. Sei's eyes wracked down the doctor's body lustily. His fingers twitched impatiently as Umeda set down the tea cups on the coffee table. When there was nothing else impeding his chances, Sei jerked forward and grabbed the doctor. He yanked Umeda on top of him by the hips. The doctor yelped and struggled as he pitched over onto Sei's sprawled out body. He opened his mouth to snap at the kid, but was instantly shut up when Sei kissed him fiercely.

Impatient fingers quickly unbuttoned the front of Umeda's shirt. The doctor shifted around until he was comfortably straddling the kid's waist. He shoved Sei's hands away from his shirt before yanking the kid's up over his head. It was his turn to play top today and the kid was gonna distract him into forgetting. Umeda leaned forward to lick and suck at Sei's left nipple. A smirk crossed the doctor's face as the kid whimpered before arching upward. Umeda scraped his nails down Sei's sensitive chest and abs to his pants line. The kid moaned sharply in response. He reached for Umeda's belt and the doctor let him get as far as unbuckling it before shoving him back again. Sei growled in frustration as Umeda chuckled.

The doctor began to slowly pop the button of Sei's pants when the door bell shattered his lusty mood. Umeda growled as he sat back to glare towards the entrance hall. The door bell rang again as the doctor climbed off the kid's lap. Behind him, Sei groaned his irritated sentiments of the interruption, voicing Umeda's own feelings perfectly.

Umeda stomped through the entrance hall to the door and yanked it open to yell at whoever had decided to bother him. He immediately regretted having not checked who was there first. He'd have to remember to do that from now on.

"Umeda-sempai!" Akiha's voiced echoed in the entrance hall.

The doctor cringed and dodged to the side as the photographer launched himself at Umeda. Unfortunately, that left the path through the doorway unprotected. Akiha bounded through the door, which Umeda was sure had been his intent all along.

"What do you want!?" the doctor snapped. "Never mind that, just leave!"

"I have come to see you, sempai!" Akiha announced with his trademark smile, ignoring Umeda's last comment. "I hope you have tea made!"

"Akiha–!" Umeda snapped angrily as the photographer barreled past him into the living room with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

"Who are you?" Akiha stopped up short after barging into the living room. A very hot young man was lying across Umeda's couch shirtless. His blue tipped black hair was mussed and his cheeks were a little flushed. It was very obvious some very interesting activities had just been about to take place. The photographer felt like someone had doused water over him.

Sei looked up from his sprawled out position on the couch. He blinked at the blond beauty in surprise before answering with a cheeky grin. "I'm Tadame Sei. I'm the Doc's sex toy."

"Shut up, brat!" Umeda growled at the kid.

The kid was a little taken aback by the actual venom in the doctor's voice. Umeda had thus far never turned that tone on him. He scrutinized this intruder into the doctor's apartment. Whoever this character was set Umeda on edge like he'd never seen before.

"What do you want, Akiha?" the doctor growled at the blond.

"Aww," Akiha whined. "I came over to see you, but you've already found someone to replace me! That's not fair! You didn't even tell me!"

Umeda had to stop his eye from twitching. "Stop trying to give Sei the wrong idea. I never wanted you."

Sei had sat up by this point to watch the weird interaction of these two men. Umeda seemed to really be angry. That was no act, like the doctor pulled on him. Who was this Akiha?

"Is there something you wanted?" Umeda asked in irritation.

"I just came to drop off these pictures for the sports event you wanted," Akiha looked affronted.

"Sports event?" Sei blurted out. Why would the doctor need that?

Akiha perked up again. "Oh yes! Umeda-sempai writes sports medicine articles for 'Sports World Japan.'"

"That's you!" Sei almost fell off the couch as he stared at the doctor in stunned amazement. "I read that all the time! That's awesome, Doc!"

Umeda looked pleased for a moment before the scowl was firmly back in place on his face. Somehow, watching the photographer and his sex toy converse so easily (about him no less) was incredibly annoying.

"Your name's Tadame-kun, ne?" Akiha was saying.

"Yes," Sei replied.

"You seem very nice. How long have you known, Umeda-sempai?" the blond asked innocently.

Sei opened his mouth to answer, but was rudely cut off.

"Shut it, Sei," Umeda barked. "Akiha, it's none of your business. Now would you give me the pictures?"

"Umeda-sempai, I'm just trying to be nice!" the photographer protested.

"You're trying to be nosy," Umeda growled, before putting out his hand and gesturing impatiently. "Pictures?"

Akiha sighed in mock sorrow. "Alright, alright." He dug through his satchel before pulling out a manilla envelope about an inch thick.

"Thank you," the doctor said curtly as he took the package.

"But really, Umeda-sempai, why haven't you mentioned Tadame-kun?" Akiha pressed daringly.

Umeda rolled his eyes as he pulled the picture out of the envelope for inspection. "I said it was none of your business."

Sei frowned at the doctor's dismissal of his person.

"But he's so handsome!" the photographer grinned flirtatiously at the kid. "Maybe we could share? Or could I join in?"

Sei returned the grin. "I'm game for either one. You're pretty hot."

Maybe that had been the entirely wrong thing to say, because Umeda suddenly lost it. "Out!" he yelled at Akiha.

The photographer quelled. "It was a joke!"

"I said get out!" Umeda said fiercely. His amber eyes were glittering a promise of death.

Akiha quickly back pedaled towards the door. He realized that this time the doctor really was pissed. He scrambled to get his shoes on and get out the door before Umeda came after him. Sei watched in shock as the blond retreated at a backwards run. He yelped when the doctor caught him by the back of his collar and pulled him up.

"You too!" Umeda snapped.

"But I was–!" Sei cried.

The doctor marched the kid to the door and practically tossed him out. "I said out! If you want Akiha so bad you can have him!"

Sei felt like a scorned puppy as he stumbled out into the hallway. He spun around to protest and blinked in surprise as the doctor shoved Sei's shoes in his hands. "Doc!" The door slammed in his face before he could say anything else. "Dammit!" he sighed. He'd almost had Umeda's pants off before that blond had shown up.

Speaking of blonds...

Sei turned his head to the side to glare at Akiha in annoyance.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

**Hey! Hey you! Yeah You! I see you reading and not reviewing! Freaking Review! It's Rude Not To!**

**Be A Responsible Reader and Review!**

Brownie points of you get the manga reference I made between Sei and Umeda near the beginning of the chapter. Next chapter will be up hopefully in a week. Please stick around for the next installment. Thank you. :D


	5. Chapter 5Getting To Know You

Disclaimer: Still not mine except Sei.

Warning: Lemon, of course, and light BDSM. Because I couldn't resist and Sei where's a collar for a reason. I even marked it off for those of you who don't particularly care for that stuff. :D

A/N: I swear I have an outline of where I'm going with all of this. I know so many of you are like 'wtf is this headed?' Just hang in there. It's getting there. Things well become clear in the next few chapters. I promise. You stick with me and you'll get your answers. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. You are wonderful. And I see all the rest of you out there that keep returning but not reviewing. That's cool. I'm glad you're at least coming back for more. :D Now onto the next chapter. And make sure you paid attention to the warning...

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

The door slammed shut with a resounding bang. Sei stared at the closed door in shock, wondering why Umeda was taking his anger out on him. He glared sideways at the blond in annoyance. The agitation disappeared in an instant as he saw the devastated look on the older man's face. He immediately felt sympathetic. Whoever this man was he obviously had quite a thing for the doctor. He watched as the blond took a deep breath, visibly composing himself.

A moment later the blond caught Sei's eyes. "You hungry?"

"What?" Sei asked completely caught off guard. Bewilderment spreading across his face.

"I'm gonna go eat. I'd like you to join me," the blond explained briefly, as he fished in his pockets for his keys. "I'm Akiha Hara by the way. Nice to meet you," he put his hand out.

Sei scrutinized the blond for a very long moment. This guy looked pretty damn familiar. It couldn't really be who he thought it was though. Sei reached out and shook Akiha's hand cautiously. "Aren't you that famous model photographer?"

"Yep, that's me," Akiha answered with a big grin. He looked like he hadn't been in a fight only a few minutes before. "So will join me?"

"Uh...sure," he agreed hesitantly. Somehow he had a weird feeling about this. The fact that he was talking to a famous person was over shadowed by everything that had just happened. A thousand questions were racing through his mind. He wanted answers.

He followed Akiha out of the apartment building to the photographer's car parked across the street. Both were uncharacteristically quiet during the drive. Akiha appeared to be brooding while trying to look like he wasn't. Sei was no idiot. He knew the photographer was pretty upset. He was content to wait until the appropriate moment to ask his questions. They reached their destination much faster than Sei had anticipated. He followed after Akiha, not really taking in where they were. He was to busy thinking. He didn't realize notice anything again until he found himself sitting at a table across from the photographer.

How Sei found himself in a restaurant with a very hot photographer still puzzled him. He would have thought Akiha would have given him the cold shoulder. Instead, the photographer was acting liked they were long lost friends. It was like as soon as they passed the door way into the restaurant the photographer's entire attitude changed. Akiha's bright smile and sweet words had their waitress blushing as she scribbled down their orders. He talked to her with a confident, easy manner. As soon as she left though, Akiha directed his entire attention towards Sei.

"So Sei-kun," the photographer smiled. "How long have you known, Umeda-sempai?"

Sei took a sip of his drink before answering carefully. "About a month. We met at a club."

"Are you two actually dating?" Akiha asked, curiously.

"No, we just–," Sei stopped short. Why was he gonna tell the photographer what they did? It wasn't really any of his business.

"Screw?" the photographer but the word out there before Sei could find another way to say it. The word hung in the air between them. "Look, I'm not trying to scare you off or play the jealous lover," Akiha sighed, letting his carefree expression drop. "Umeda and I are not lovers as much as I would like to be. Hell, he probably doesn't even consider me a friend."

"You're not his lover?" Sei blinked in surprised, grasping onto that with a sense of relief.

"No."

"Then who is?" he blurted. "I know he's in love with someone. The way he screws–," he stopped up short and bit his lip.

Akiha frowned. "What?"

"I can just tell he's doing it to forget. Like he's desperate to," Sei finished quietly.

"He is," Akiha sighed heavily, running his finger around the edge of his glass. "He's in love with a man named ? Ryoichi that he's known since high school."

Sei looked surprised. "Why isn't he with him then?"

"Because the asshole banged Umeda finally after years of nothing between them. Then he promptly told Umeda he was engaged to be married and he was moving away." Akiha told him shortly.

Sei was silent for a moment as he digested this. He couldn't imagine ever doing that to anyone. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm trying to help you before you get in to deep with him. Umeda's on a fast road to self destruction. Don't let him drag you down with him. I just don't want to see you get hurt," Akiha answered honestly.

"What if I don't care about getting hurt?" Sei frowned.

"Then that means you're as bad off as me; which means you're in love with him."

Both fell silent as the waitress brought their food to the table. They smiled and thanked her politely, waiting for her to retreat before beginning to talk again. Sei took a couple of bites of food, mulling over Akiha's words.

"You are, aren't you?" Akiha's voice made him freeze.

Sei stared down at his food, feeling his stomach twist. "I just fuck him."

"Or does he fuck you?" Akiha asked gently.

"I do him," Sei answered stiffly.

Akiha took a deep breath. "For now you do."

"Sure you're not a jealous lover?" Sei asked with a smirk.

"I'm sure. I'm a jealous man in love." Akiha replied with a sad smile.

Sei couldn't help but ask curiously. "How long have you been in love with Umeda-san?"

"Since college," Akiha replied.

"Doesn't that make you as bad as him then?"

Akiha grinned in a self-decrepitating manner. "Yeah, it does."

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Umeda sighed as he peered through the peep hole of his apartment door. He hadn't expected that Sei brat to be back so soon. He'd felt like an ass as soon as the door had slammed shut. He hated feeling guilty for his own over reactions. He hated even more having to apologize for them. He debated on whether or not to answer the door. He sighed, knowing it was a petulant thought and he wasn't a child anymore. He'd have to suck it up. He swung the door open with a sigh.

Sei's down trodden expression quickly perked up as soon the door opened. The doctor stood in the door way for about half a second before stepping back to let the kid in. Sei blinked for a second, before hurrying inside before Umeda changed his mind. The kid was a bit shocked the older man had let him in. He'd been afraid the doctor was going to ignore him. He followed Umeda into the living room and waited for the doctor to sit. He stayed standing. He need to say his piece before he tried to get comfortable. This kinda of talk always made him feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Look, Doc, I'm sorry. I just realized I don't know anything about you. So I didn't know joking with Akiha would make you angry," Sei apologized, fiddling with his collar buckle like he always did when he was anxious.

"Don't be sorry. I over reacted. Akiha just puts me on edge," Umeda replied irritably. He hated admitting his screw ups, but more so his weaknesses.

Sei wondered if he should say the next part. "I went out to lunch with Akiha."

Umeda looked up sharply, his gaze narrowing with anger.

"It's not cause I wanted to hit on him or I was attracted to him," Sei defended himself. "It's because he asked me too. He wanted to talk to me. So I agreed."

"Learn anything interesting?" The doctor asked briskly.

Sei nodded slowly. "He seemed to know a lot about you. And I was curious to find out exactly who he was to you."

"A pain in my ass," Umeda growled.

"Yeah, that I noticed. I want to get know you, Doc. And we don't seem to do a lot of personal talking when we are...," Sei trailed off as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "The point is, I was hoping to maybe learn something about you from Akiha."

"You could have asked me. And not gone to him for answers," The doctor replied caustically.

"He really seems serious about you though," the kid remarked, staring down at his hands.

Umeda cringed. "Enough about him."

"Ok," Sei dropped it instantly. He didn't feel like getting kicked out again. Not only had that hurt last time, but his cock had been left crying for release.

"I really don't know anything about you either," Umeda said as he lit up a cigarette.

"Ask away!" I will answer anything...almost," Sei perked up with a bright smile. He plopped down onto the couch and gave Umeda an eager look.

Sometimes, the doctor thought, the kid's mentality was so simple. Except that he knew it was just a cover. Sei was smart enough to know when it was beneficial to play at being dumb or simple minded.

"How old are you?" Umeda asked.

"21, but I could be lying," Sei quirked an eyebrow with a teasing smirk.

"You're not," Umeda replied. The kid wasn't playing with his fingers like he did when he lied. "What are you studying in college?"

Sei grinned sheepishly. "Pediatrics."

The doctor cracked a smile. "That's ironic."

"How old are you, Doc?"

"I just turned 28," Umeda answered honestly.

Sei nodded thoughtfully. "You've been practicing medicine how long?"

"Four years. ? High is my first official doctor position," Umeda replied.

"You must like it if you stayed this long," Sei said.

"I've become...attached to it. There are a few students I feel it's my duty to protect," the doctor told him, fiddling with the lighter in his hands. "Why do you wanna be in pediatrics?"

Sei explained with a smile. "I got hit by a car when I was seven. I ran into the damn street chasing a ball. My doctor at the hospital took really good care of me. He inspired me, I guess you could say, to help out other kids like he did." The kid chuckled a little and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "My older brother always said that accident knocked me gay."

"I take it he resents you being a homo?" Umeda inquired.

"He hates it even though I don't talk about it to him. He acts like I put all the pressure on him to bear the family name and be the manly one," Sei sighed.

Umeda eyed the younger man. "He must have an inferiority complex."

The kid looked over at him in shock. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you're very manly for a gay guy," the doctor smirked.

The kid smiled and flexed his abs. "Hell yes, I am. I know I'm sexy."

Umeda rolled his eyes. "I take it back. It's inflating your ego."

"Nah," Sei laughed. "What about you, Doc? Got any siblings?"

"Two annoying sisters," he answered. "Pray you never meet my older sister." He shuddered.

"You ever been in love?" Sei asked with a feigned casualness.

Umeda's entire attitude changed in the blink of an eye. He scowled and bolted to his feet. "I don't wanna talk about that."

Sei frowned at the defensive reaction. Apparently, this Ryoichi guy was still eating at the doctor. He huffed sadly. He wished he could track that bastard down and slug him. Umeda deserved better than that. The doctor was to good for that guy.

Sei jumped to his feet to go after Umeda. He caught the doctor by the wrist and spun him around. The doctor made a startled, angry noise under his breath. Before he could yell or protest, Sei caught his mouth in a bruising kiss. Umeda struggled against him until the kid hooked his foot around the doctor's ankle and knocked him off his feet. Umeda yelped in surprise as he tumbled to the ground in a controlled fall. Sei kept a firm hold of him so that he hardly jostled as he landed flat on his back on the carpet.

Umeda stared in shock at the kid's face. That had never happened to him before. Sei's hands pinned the doctor's wrists down on either side of his head. The kid settled his weight down onto Umeda's hips before rolling his hips against the doctor's. Umeda moaned sharply and cursed. That move had to be illegal in almost every country. God, this kid could turn him on so damn fast. He once again cursed the kid's intuitive nature. Sei had figured out his little kink of being man handled very quickly. Something about the rough treatment went straight to Umeda's cock. He was by no means a big fan of BDSM. He just liked a little rough play sometimes. Sei knew it and was quick to use it to divert Umeda's attention to sex.

The doctor whimpered softly as Sei bit lightly onto his collar bone. His blood surged through him straight to his cock in a matter of seconds. Sei laved at the reddened skin before leaning down to latch onto a pert nipple. He smirked at the sharp gasp he earned for his efforts. Sei was beginning to be able to play Umeda's body like a well tuned guitar.

The urge to sock the kid for presuming to cajole Umeda in this manner was waging a war with his dick's idea to just fuck. He struggled just a little as he thought it over. His efforts were met with another flex down of Sei's hips against his own. The feel of the younger man's ass rubbing against his crotch dispelled any lingering indecision. With a mental shrug, he decided to do what his dick was telling him too. He wasn't in the mood, however, to play bottom. And Sei did need reminding of who exactly ran the show around here. So now the problem was figuring out how to turn the tables.

The idea soon came to him. With a mischievous glint in his eyes (that his sex toy missed), he ceased all struggles. Sei made a soft noise of triumph. Umeda smirked as the grip on his wrists loosened. He let the kid make love to his skin as he waited. He felt like a tiger waiting for a vulnerable spot to open up. He didn't have to wait very long. Sei reared back and pulled off his shirt. Before he could bring his arms all the way down, Umeda lunged forward. He knocked Sei backwards and underneath him as he scrambled swiftly to reverse their positions.

Sei gapped up at him in stunned puzzlement as Umeda pinned him to the floor. The kid's eyes went impossibly wide at the predatory gleam in the doctor's eyes. He felt his heart begin to pound heavy in his chest. A moment later the world revolved for Sei again, and he found himself face down against the carpet. He tensed when Umeda grabbed the back of his collar in a silent proclamation of authority. A tremble of excitement and unease skittered down Sei's spin to settle in his cock like it was a tuning fork.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the doctor assured him. "If I do tell me. I'll stop. I promise."

The kid relaxed into the gentle caress of fingers tracing his back. "I trust you. You can hurt me a little."

Umeda smiled against the back of Sei's neck. "And I thought I was kinky. What do you want?"

"I don't care. Just please do something. I need to come so bad," Sei groaned and rolled his hips back against the doctor's.

Umeda smirked. "Maybe I'll let you."

The kid moaned desperately. "Please," he whimpered.

–**Lemon and BDSM warning starts here–**

Umeda quickly divested the kid of the rest of his clothes. He didn't even bother to shed any of his clothes. He left himself half undressed where Sei had left off. He glanced around to locate anything to use as lubrication. He had to smile at the bottle of lotion that had been left on the coffee table. It was amusing how many bottles of the stuff were beginning to crop up in convenient locations around his apartment. Only problem was it was just out of reach.

"I'm going to let go for a minute. Do not move, or all bets are off. Get it?" the doctor said sternly to Sei.

Sei nodded. "Got it."

The kid stayed perfectly still as Umeda let go and got up to retrieve the bottle. He returned to his previous dominating position in a matter of moments.

"We're gonna do it right here?" Sei asked curiously. His heart skipped a beat as Umeda's fingers tightened around his collar.

"Of course," the doctor smirked as he leaned over to bite the kid's shoulder.

Sei sucked in a sharp breath. He moaned deep in his throat as Umeda pressed one lotion coated finger inside him. Apparently, the doctor was not in the mood for foreplay. Sei was perfectly fine with that. He didn't think he could handle it anyways. He'd probably come way to fast. How many times had they ever used foreplay anyways? Sei mentally shrugged. Whatever.

Umeda prepared Sei quickly but efficiently. Seeing the kid on his knees and spread out in front of him was limiting his patience. And the kid's needy moans every time he stroked over Sei's sweet spot with his finger's was making his cock throb. He pulled his fingers out of the kid, slathered his cock with lotion, and lined himself up against Sei's tight entrance. He grabbed Sei's hip to steady them both. In one smooth thrust, he seated himself completely inside the kid. Both groaned in unison as jolts of pleasure washed through them. Umeda tightened his grip on Sei's collar and began to pound into the kid without mercy. Every move of his hips was calculated to hit Sei's sweet spot. Within moments, the kid was panting hard.

The doctor's grip was just tight enough to restrict easy air flow. Sei could still breathe but it was as difficult as if he'd had a bad cold. It made the air he received precious. It also made him tune into his body and become much more aware of its reactions. The pleasure Umeda was giving him felt amplified as if he were drugged. Every stroke over his sweet spot was like a thousand lightning bolts of gratification up his spin. He was acutely attuned to every caress and kiss the doctor dropped on his skin every once in a while. He was so painfully aroused that could barely stand it.

His fingers dug into the plush carpet as he rocked and writhed against Umeda's body. Every other sound out of his throat was a whimper or moan. Dear God, he was so close. So fucking close to coming. Tears leaked down his face and into the carpet from the sheer intensity of the sensations racing through his body. His tears only added another puddle into the rug besides the one he knew his cock was making. He was almost delirious with wild need. He was chanting broken words into his wrist with the little air he could get out. Even he had no idea what was pouring out of his mouth.

Something like: "God–please–I can't–Ah!- Doc!–Fuck–please please please!"

Umeda was driving into him in hard, long strokes. Sei felt the orgasm building in the base of his cock as his balls clenched. Umeda's grip suddenly tightened further on the collar as he pulled out and slammed back inside. That thrust hit Sei's sweet spot so hard the pain/pleasure mix overloaded his senses. The intense combination of air deficiency, pain, and over whelming gratification sent stars and streaks of black exploding across his vision. He came hard all over the carpet, his thighs, and his stomach. The intensity of the orgasm made him tense and writhe simultaneously like a desperate thing trying to get free. It was an explosion of so much sensation that it felt like he left his body for a moment.

When his orgasmic high subsided somewhat, his throat hurt like he'd been screaming. His airway was unrestricted again as he gasped down great lungfulls of refreshing breaths. Cum dripped from his thighs and drenched the carpet beneath his dick. He groaned deep in his chest as Umeda's cock slipped out of him. His whole body was trembling and he panted lightly as he collapsed flat onto the carpet. He hadn't even felt or heard the other man come. He could feel the essence of the doctor's release trickling down the back of his thighs that told him otherwise. It'd been such a long time since he had experienced an orgasmic high like that. And never had it been so overpowering that he stopped noticing everything. He whimpered as Umeda caressed his hips and kissed the back of his neck. His skin felt hyper sensitive to the touches.

–**End warning**–

"Are you ok?" the doctor asked.

Sei swallowed hard before he managed to whisper. "That was incredible."

"Glad you liked it," Umeda replied, the smile evident in his tone. He gently unbuckled the collar around the kid's neck. It slipped off a second later. He quickly inspected for any injury but found only minor bruising. He'd made sure he'd been careful. It had been a long time since he had partaken in this kind of rough play. But the way it had made Sei melt had been so worth it. Fuck, the kid had been so tight around him the whole time. And the obscene noises Sei had been making the whole time had practically turned Umeda's insides to mush. He'd had to fight not to come before Sei. His ego felt a little inflated with the pride that he hadn't even needed to touch the kid's cock to get him off.

Umeda gently massaged the abused skin of Sei's neck as the kid continued to slowly recover. It took several minutes for the kid to stop panting and his heart drumming. Umeda watched him with the critical eye only a doctor could have.

"Fuck," Sei breathed. "That was so damn hot." He twisted around to gaze up at the doctor. "Thank you. It's been a while since I've had that."

"You're welcome," Umeda replied with a pleased, proud feeling purring in his chest.

"Was it good for you, Doc?" the kid asked a bit worriedly.

Umeda had to laugh. "Yes. Oh yes."

Sei chuckled softly. "I think I ruined the carpet."

"Nah, I'll wash it," the doctor dismissed it.

The kid flopped back down on his face. "Doc, I don't think I can move."

Umeda smirked. "I'll get you on your feet, but I can't carry you."

"Alright."

After some awkward lifting, maneuvering, and several dozen unsteady steps later–Sei slumped into the doctor's bed. Umeda pulled the covers up kindly. He disappeared for a moment out of the bedroom. He came back with a glass of water and a damp wash cloth. He helped Sei drink down some of the water before cleaning the cum off of them both. Then he stripped off his pants and crawled into the bed next to the kid. He pulled Sei against his body and held him close. Within only a matter of minutes, the kid had fallen deeply asleep. Sei had placed a staggering amount of trust in him. That had pleased and stunned him. It had been worth the risk of losing Sei's friendship or possibly really hurting him. He scrubbed his fingers lightly through the kid's short hair, smiling as Sei sighed softly. He'd definitely have to do that again.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Be a responsible reader and review.

Yeah, that ended kinda abruptly. I really couldn't think of any other way to cut it off. The sex scene was more for my own sick enjoyment. Anywho, next chapter is where every thing really begins to shift in another direction. So stick around for that. See y'all next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6All Mixed Up

Disclaimer: NOT MINE FOR GOD'S SAKE! Except for Sei. Don't steal him.

A/N: My God, this chapter is exceptionally long. I have a reason for it though. It's because there is no lemon in this chapter. -Gasp- I know. No, lemon. But there really was no where to put it that would have made it work. So instead of a lemon, I just made the chapter really long and threw in some citrus with Akiha to make up for it all. I contemplated cutting it down, but then you would have had two or three chapters with no lemons. That would suck. So anywho, enough of my blathering. Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter Six**

It was lunch time when Sei finally got a chance to sit down and talk with his best friend, Reiji. They sat together under a tree, sharing a large bento box they'd made. The two were actually room mates as well. Somehow, back in high school, the two had picked the same college to test for without telling the other. Upon being accepted and finding out they were going to the same place, they decided rooming together was a great idea. They were already best friends. So it made everything that much easier. They were an inseparable duo at school. People joked that they were joined at the hip. Sei really didn't care. He adored his little uke friend.

He had just finished telling Reiji all about the previous night before scarfing down a riceball. "Umeda-san clearly hates that guy," Sei spoke around the food in his mouth.

The uke scowled at him and reached over to wipe away a few stray pieces of rice from Sei's chin. "You shouldn't eat so messy. It's rude."

Sei shrugged. "You're changing the subject."

"Akiha sounds like a very determined man. Maybe Umeda-san is just in denial about his true feelings towards that guy," Reiji said offhandedly.

"Why would you think that?" Sei asked, a little irritation creeping into his expression.

The uke shrugged casually. "Most people who react that violently to someone are using it as a cover up. I mean that's a lot of passion directed at one person, whether in angry or not. Imagine having that kind of passion in bed."

Sei stilled for a moment. That was what had been bothering him about Akiha. "Umeda-san has never reacted like that to me. That's why I don't like Akiha. Because he pulls out a passionate side of Umeda I can't seem to touch."

"Well, you are just supposed to be fuck buddies," the uke reminded him bluntly.

"I know that. It's just...something about Umeda makes me...," Sei really want to put the rest into words. He stared off into space as his mind replayed all the moments he'd spent with Umeda. All of them had been enjoyable. Sei thought they got along great together. The desire for more than just being a sex toy to Umeda seemed to sneak up on him suddenly.

"You're falling for him!" Reiji pointed out with a hint of anger in his voice.

"I am not! Why does every one keep saying that?" Sei growled as his friend snapped him out of his thoughts.

Reiji scowled. "Then why are you so jealous of this guy he fought with?"

"Cause the guy's hot. I don't stand a chance against him," Sei snapped.

"I thought you just said you weren't falling for him?" the uke asked with a snarky look.

Sei blew out an irritated breath. Why was he getting so worked up? He couldn't be falling for the doctor. "I dunno. I'm trying not to. I know that'd be a waste of time. But he makes me want something other than just casual sex."

Reiji sighed heavily. "You need to be more careful, Sei. I don't want you to get hurt over this guy. Because you will get hurt if you try to stake a claim on him."

"I know, I know." Sei replied softly.

"Hey, I'm here for you no matter what." Reiji leaned forward to sneak a quick kiss from his friend's lips.

Sei flushed and grinned. "Thanks, Reiji."

"Anytime. Now finish you're lunch," the uke smiled back.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Umeda looked up as the door was flung open. He wasn't at all surprised to see Akiha come gallivanting through it. He wished the principal and the people in charge of the school didn't like the photographer so damn much. He'd have the man restricted from even setting foot on the property if only to have some peace of mind.

"What the hell do you want?" He growled in irritation.

Akiha shrugged. "I can't stop by and say hello? I was in the area."

"Well, then go get lost somewhere." The doctor glared at him.

"That's cruel, sempai," the photographer pouted.

There was a an awkward pause between them. Akiha sighed and dropped the act for a moment. He had come here for a reason. Getting distracted from his set course wouldn't help.

"I enjoyed having dinner with Sei-kun the other night. He's a very interesting young man. He seems quite fond of you," the photographer remarked casually.

Umeda scowled. "I would appreciate it if you stay away from boyfriend."

Akiha's eyebrows shot up. "I thought he was just a sex toy? Like all the others."

"He is."

The photographer made a skeptical noise. "He did seem rather comfortable in your apartment. How often does he come over to visit?"

"Why's it matter to you?" Umeda asked suspiciously.

"Curiousity. It's hard for me not to be jealous of Sei. I wonder if you're becoming attached to him," Akiha replied honestly.

The doctor looked him in the eyes and said cruelly. "What if I am?"

Akiha frowned. "Do you mean that?"

"What do you care?"

"Because you know I love you," was the persistent reply.

"For the love of Kami-sama would you stop saying that!" Umeda snapped.

"I'll keep saying it forever until you believe it." Akiha replied, fiercely. He tried to explain before Umeda lost his temper entirely. "If you want to love Sei I'll be fine with that. I'll even be happy for you, just as long as I know you're happy. I just can't stand watching you ruin your life because of a man that never loved you."

"You're any better?"

Akiha stepped back like he'd been slapped. Umeda tried not to let the man's hurt expression bother him. Those words had been cruel. In a way, it had been supremely satisfying to say them aloud.

"Do you think this is a game or something?" Umeda snarled angrily. "You act like I'm the prize in the gumball machine you could never win. You chase me, you bother me, and you harass me to no end. Then you say things like this to me as if you had a right. I told you, Akiha, I'm tired of being yanked around."

"Then what about Sei-kun? Isn't he using you?" the photographer frowned.

Umeda glared at him. "I'm using him just as much. It's called fuck buddies. It has nothing to do with love. I just want the sex."

"What about Sei? You ever think that kid might be falling for you?" Akiha pointed out bluntly.

"Sei approached me. He knew exactly what he started. I'm not responsible for what he feels," the doctor replied darkly.

Akiha threw up his hands in disgust. "Fine. I'm done trying to talk sense into you!"

"Good. It's about damn time! The door's over there. Feel free to leave." Umeda gestured to the door. Akiha spun around and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. The doctor scowled as he watched the photographer stride away through the glass in the door. For some reason, he felt some strong, foreign emotion that felt oddly like guilt. But why the hell should he feel guilty for yelling at Akiha. The man drove him up a tree!

Urgh! He slapped his hands down on his desk loudly as he growled in frustration. He couldn't sit in here. He was to mad to help anyone who might come in his office. He'd probably end up kicking out anyone who did try to come in right now. He needed to get outside and clear his head. Besides it was lunch time anyways. Maybe a quick walk for some food would help clear his mind. He was out the door before he could find some excuse or someone made one for him to stay in his office.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

"Umeda-san!" a female voice called from across the street.

The doctor turned to see who had been yelling his name. He saw a young vaguely familiar woman running across the street. She waving her hand excitedly while grinning happily. For some reason, he stood and waited for her. Any other time he probably would have just walked away. There weren't many women he enjoyed wasting time talking to. But no, something told him to stay. He'd later wish that he ignored that stupid internal voice.

The woman stopped in front of him, slightly out of breath from her sprint through traffic. Her sleek black hair was a little wind blown but she still looked cute. Her smile was so bright and cheerful it was instantly irritating to him. He wished he could remember who this woman was and why she knew him.

"Umeda-san! It's so good to see you! It's been years–," she gushed.

He could only gaze at her blankly. She didn't seem to notice his lack of response.

"Ryoichi was always talking about you!" she was saying.

His brain tuned back on with a snap. His blood felt like it froze in his veins. He was sure he'd forgotten how to breathe momentarily. He stared at her in shock as comprehension began to dawn on him. It couldn't be her, right? Because that'd just be to cruel. Fate couldn't hate him that much. "Nakamura Haruna-san?"

"Yes," she chirped happily. "I'm so glad you remembered. I didn't know if you would."

"Oh yes I do," he managed to say. He suddenly felt very ill.

The woman just kept right on chattering. "I keep telling Ryoichi that all of us should get together some time to drink or have dinner." She laughed. "I know you two are so close. But he seems to think its bad idea about us getting together. I joked him about being afraid I'd get stolen from him. The look on his face was so cute."

Umeda nodded, trying to swallow down the urge to puke. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes, I even teased him about you two having a secret affair. Everyone used to think so in high school. You two were always together," she giggled.

The doctor wanted to scream, cry, and choke her all at the same time. How could she be so goddamned blind about what had gone on right underneath her nose? "I'm sure he denied that."

"Oh of course. Very fiercely in fact. It was so funny how defensive he got about it. It almost made me suspicious," she laughed.

"Well, I can assure you that nothing of the kind happened between us," Umeda replied through gritted teeth and a forced smile. "We are like brothers. That's all."

"I know! He told me he was a 100 straight. He claimed that boldly. It was to cute. He did tell me that you're gay though. Is that true?" she asked curiously.

"Yes, I am. Completely," he answered, trying to control his swiftly building rage and hurt.

Her eyes widened in delight. "Wow, that's amazing! Do you have a boyfriend!? This is so exciting!" she chirped.

"Yes, I do," he answered simply. He knew she would run back to tell Ryoichi everything that been said between them. He certainly wasn't going to give the bastard the impression that he was still hanging on.

"Oh wonderful! Well I wish you luck with him. I'd love to meet him sometime. Maybe you can bring him to our wedding," she remarked brightly. She glanced down at her watch as he contemplated killing her in the middle of the street. "Oh my goodness! I have to get going! Ryoichi and I are meeting up for dinner. Say! Would you like to join us?" she asked innocently.

Umeda was not quite sure how to keep from having a massive breakdown right there on the sidewalk. "Oh no. I wouldn't dare impose on such short notice."

"But I'm sure–."

"No, really," he spoke a bit harshly.

She blinked but her smile never wavered. "Ok then. Well, it was wonderful to see you. I hope we see you at the wedding. I'll see you again soon!"

The doctor did not return the sentiments. He couldn't stand to. "Good bye," he said curtly.

"Good bye," she replied. She gave a little wave and rushed away as quickly as she had appeared.

Umeda's legs trembled as he tried not to collapse to the pavement. Fuck, why had he run in her!? Was he being tortured or punished for some wrong he had committed? This was to much painful irony for him to handle. He was closer to a break down in this one moment then he had been after Ryoichi walked out on him. Maybe because he'd finally seen the proof of Ryoichi's words. It was finally sinking in that there was no hope that his best friend had ever loved or wanted him. Ryoichi had proposed to an oblivious, chatterbox over being with Umeda. The doctor was certain any second he was either going to burst into tears, hyperventilate, or be violently ill.

He refused to give into any of these urges. What he needed was a drink. Or several. In fact, he needed to get shit faced. And fast. That sounded like an awesome idea.

He looked around frantically for a bar. He spotted a sign for one only a block away. His feet were moving before his brain finished processing the information. He nearly ran to it. He staggered into the bar, barely taking in the interior or its other customers. He dragged himself to a stool at the bar. The bartender must have recognized the look on his face, because he hurried over.

"Whiskey," he rasped.

It didn't take long for him to be drunk out of his mind. And God, it was so great. As the hours passed into evening, he showed no signs of slowing down his alcohol intake. He was smart enough not to poison himself with booze. He sat at the bar, watched the tv, and when he began to sober up some he ordered another drink. He couldn't take being sober right now. He made sure to let the buzz dissipate a little before slamming down a few more shots. He did this with such precision that the bartender couldn't help being impressed.

It was somewhere around his fourth hour of being in the bar that his cell phone rang. He fumbled through his pockets and managed to open it with some difficulty. He had no idea why he answered. He regretted it when he did.

"Umeda-sempai!" Akiha's voice grated in his ear.

_Hang up! Hang up!!_ His brain cried but his fingers were to slow to cooperate.

"What!?" he barked.

Akiha whined. "Ahhhh, sempai! Why so mean?"

"Fuck," Umeda growled before swallowing down another shot and slamming the glass down.

The photographer was quiet for a moment. "Where are you?"

"Not near you," he snipped.

"Are you drinking?"

"Yes, I am. And you're killing my buzz. What do you want?" Umeda snapped.

"I have the second packet of photos you wanted for your article. Where are you?"

The doctor scowled. "In a bar."

"Obviously. Which one?"

"Fuck, I dunno. I just wondered in here off Main St.," Umeda replied. His eyes drifted back to the news banner scrolling across the screen of the tv. His vision blurred for a moment. "Shit," he rubbed a hand over his eyes.

"Umeda-sempai, stay there. I'm gonna come get you," Akiha said firmly.

"I can walk," he growled.

Akiha snorted. "Not like that you aren't. Don't you dare move until I get there."

Umeda blinked at the sudden sternness in the younger man's voice. He felt just a touch of respect creep in for Akiha. "Fine. But I won't wait around forever."

"I'll be there as quickly as I can. Don't leave," the photographer reiterated before hanging up.

The doctor clicked the phone shut and looked down at it in amazement. After considering a second, he decided waiting for Akiha was for the best. He really did know better than to try to walk anywhere in this state. He was a doctor for God's sake. He had planned on taking a taxi home. Oh well, he shrugged, let Akiha come play the white knight. What did he care?

He could feel his buzz slipping away and called for another shot.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Akiha found the bar mostly by luck. He'd only had a vague idea of where Umeda might be, but urgency and worry had somehow focused him here. It was like Umeda-sempai radar. That made him smile just a little. He walked through the door of the bar, letting his eyes immediately scan for the doctor. Umeda wasn't hard to miss. Not only was he sitting at the bar, but his beautiful face made him stand out like a beacon. The rest of the customers (most of which were female) seemed arrayed about the place in a way that kept him within their sights. It was quite funny, but Akiha was sure Umeda hadn't even noticed. He stopped watching, like everyone else, and walked over to the doctor.

"What happened?" Akiha asked as he sat down next to the doctor. He reached out to steady Umeda as he swayed groggily. He waved the bar tender over. "Can I get a glass of water?"

The bar tender nodded and swiftly set a tall glass of icy water in front of him. Akiha pushed the glass of water in front of the doctor.

The doctor looked over at him in surprise and swallowed roughly like he was trying not to be ill. "I saw Nakamura Haruna today. You know, Ryoichi's future wife. She was so goddamn happy. So utterly fucking clueless. I hated her, Akiha. I wanted to scream at her. Even thought about choking her."

The photographer kept his hand firmly on his love's shoulder. He stayed silent as Umeda continued to rant.

"She kept chattering! On and on...about Ryoichi this and that. How all three of us should get together. That I should come to the wedding. Oh God," he gripped the bar counter. He turned his head much to quickly and swayed. The world seemed to spin for a moment. "She said he got defensive when she joked about me and Ryoichi having an affair."

Akiha flinched. Poor, poor Umeda. "Drink this," he said gently, pushing the glass closer to the distraught doctor. Umeda grabbed it and chugged half of it down.

"100 straight he told her!" Umeda laughed slightly hysterical. The urge to cry was riding in his throat, choking him. "100! What would she have done if I told her he slept with me? That for one night, Ryoichi fucked my brains out and played gay." The doctor let out a noise that sounded like a strangled sob.

The photographer rubbed Umeda's shoulder and back soothingly. He almost jumped backwards in surprise when the doctor slumped sideways against him. He sat frozen for a moment as Umeda buried the side of his face against Akiha's shoulder.

"I hated her," Umeda whispered. "I couldn't help it. What the hell does he see in her? Why is she better than me? Because she's a girl? Is loving a guy that disgusting?"

"No, it's not," Akiha murmured, as he slipped his arm around Umeda's back. "I love you."

Umeda shook his head in denial. He made another soft choking sob that broke the photographer's heart.

"You can cry if you need to," Akiha said.

The doctor hunched his shoulders. "I'm not going to cry. I won't. Not over him. Not because of that bastard."

Akiha frowned. Umeda was obviously not ready to let go and move on yet. "Come on," he said. "I'm taking you home."

And for once, Umeda didn't argue. He was actually surprised at how easily the doctor gave in as Akiha pulled him to his feet.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

The ride to Umeda's apartment building seemed to take much longer than it really did. Maybe it was because the doctor remained silent the entire ride, despite Akiha's attempts to lighten his love's mood. When they arrived, Umeda lead the way in. He acted a little more like his usual self when he argued that Akiha did not need to follow him up. But the photographer persisted. He wouldn't be happy until he was sure Umeda had made it safely inside his apartment. The doctor was more wasted then he was willing to admit. Anyone could see it in the way he walked and the less eloquent way in which he spoke. Akiha would leave as soon as the doctor was safely _in_ his apartment.

They rode the elevator upward, still in complete silence. Akiha kept a subtle hold of Umeda's upper arm as the doctor swayed. He was a little surprised Umeda hadn't tried once to brush off the contact. In fact, he seemed perfectly fine with it. He actually leaned into the photographer, whether inadvertent or not, Akiha was quite pleased. The elevator dinged as it got to Umeda's floor and the doors swung open slowly. The photographer followed Umeda down the hall towards his door, still keeping ahold of the doctor's arm. Umeda fumbled in his pockets for his keys. He found them finally and managed to get the right one into the lock after two tries. The doctor leaned against the door with a sigh before turning around to face Akiha.

"Thanks," he said awkwardly. He knew it wasn't nearly enough gratitude for everything the photographer had done for him that night. But he felt to out of sorts and oddly bashful from the kind, yet firm way with which Akiha had helped him. He forced himself to look up into the photographer's eyes.

Akiha smiled at the doctor's look. He had never seen Umeda look shy before and it looked quite cute on him. With his hair a little mussed, cheeks red from liquor, and eyes bright from unshed tears, Umeda looked like a sad, yet beautiful puppy. The photographer found the urge to kiss him and hold him almost overwhelming. His fingers tightened their hold on Umeda's sleeve. Before he knew it he was in motion.

Akiha leaned forward waiting for Umeda to shove him back or turn away like he had done every time before this one. He didn't know why he tried now. He knew he should give up on the doctor, but in his heart Umeda would still haunt him. So it was a complete shock when the doctor didn't move until suddenly Akiha's lips were on his. They both stood there immobile for a moment. Akiha was to shocked for a second to do more than merely press his lips to Umeda's. Then suddenly everything clicked and the photographer's mind jump started back to life. Here he was standing in the hallway of Umeda's apartment building, kissing the man he loved for the first time in his life, and Umeda wasn't resisting!

His arms came up quickly to draw the doctor in close before he decided to back away. Umeda came willingly until their bodies were pressed tight against each other. Umeda seemed to fit into him so perfectly. All their angles, curves, and hard places seemed to lock as completely as a finally solved puzzle. Akiha carefully tilted the doctor's head up and deepened the kiss. God, it felt wonderful to finally be able to kiss Umeda. His lips were as soft as he'd always imagined. Then he noticed something through his delighted surprise.

Umeda was not kissing back.

Akiha pulled back abruptly to look down at the doctor. Umeda was staring at him with a look of disbelief. Akiha had no idea what to think. He wondered if he'd done something wrong or he'd pushed to far to fast. What was wrong? Why was Umeda staring at him like that?

"Umeda-sempai?" he whispered worriedly.

Umeda swallowed hard before answering. "What?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

There was a brief silence before Umeda blinked and seemed to come out of the daze he had been in. "No," he replied quietly.

"Then what happened?" Akiha asked tentatively.

"I dunno," Umeda answered. But he did really and it was so hard for him to find the right words to say it. Especially with his brain fuzzed over by alcohol.

Akiha shook his head. "Sempai..."

"I just-," Umeda murmured, trying to find the words to say what he meant. Usually he didn't have a problem with articulating. This, he knew, could potentially lead into unknown territory. "No one's ever kissed me like that."

The photographer stared in shock. "Like how?" he couldn't help but ask. What had he done differently? "Was it bad?"

Umeda shook his head. "No. I never tasted that kinda passion before." He cringed as soon as he said it. That was so damn corny. That definitely didn't come out the way he had wanted it to.

Akiha stood there for a moment, trying to take in the words the doctor had just said. Then he began to chuckle quietly. He dropped his head so Umeda wouldn't see the happy tears in his eyes. It was almost to much to hope that he might be finally getting through to the doctor. He'd waited so long for Umeda to even look at him for real.

"Don't laugh at me," Umeda growled in annoyance.

"That was so lame," Akiha couldn't help but laugh out right. He was so happy and his heart was so hopeful. He couldn't stop laughing. He had to smile.

Umeda flushed in agitation. "Shut up. If I wasn't drunk I wouldn't have been spouting those nauseatingly romantic lines. "

"Sempai?"

"What?"

Akiha looked at him earnestly. "Can I kiss you again?"

Umeda swallowed hard. "Yeah."

The photographer didn't hesitate a moment longer. He leaned forward to capture the doctor's lips once more in a deeper, more passionate kiss. God, he loved the feel of those lips. He thought he would fall to pieces when Umeda reached up to thread his fingers through the fine hairs on the back of his neck. Then Umeda was kissing back with a wild sort of abandon that spoke volumes on the loneliness, desperation, and sorrow in the doctor's heart. It was to much for Akiha. It was enough to make his heart break. All he could do was fall into the kiss, pouring all of his love and passion back into the doctor. His arms came up to pull the doctor in close, tight against his chest.

When at last the need for air demanded they part, Umeda did not pull away as Akiha thought he might have. Instead, the doctor turned his head to hide his face against the younger man's neck. He took in a deep shuddering breath. His fingers absently caressed the soft skin of Akiha's neck, sending shockwaves of pleasure down the photographer's spin. Umeda pulled back to smile whimsically at him. It had to be one of the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen.

That's when reality set in like a whale falling into a bucket. Akiha realized he could have Umeda any way he wanted right now. The doctor was beyond drunk and was an emotional wreck. He was more vulnerable then Akiha had ever seen. He was unresisting because all he wanted was to be close to someone. It would be so easy to talk Umeda right out of his clothes and into bed. The photographer swallowed hard as he stared down at Umeda's glazed over eyes. It wouldn't be what Akiha wanted. He wouldn't take Umeda that way. He wanted sex as bad as anyone but he wanted the doctor's heart even more. Capitalizing on his love's vulnerability would never gain him the love and trust he desired. He would only become truly hated.

He tightened his arms around Umeda, holding the doctor close like he'd never been able to. He took a deep, shuddery breath as their bodies melted perfectly against each other. It was hard not to do anything as Umeda returned the embrace. They stood together like that for as long as Akiha could bear. He pulled back gently, pushing Umeda back slowly until they were an arm's length apart. He almost changed his mind when the doctor gave him the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen.

"I'm always gonna be here for you, Umeda-sempai. I love you," Akiha smiled softly before kissing the doctor one last time. He opened Umeda's apartment door and steered the doctor through it. "Get some sleep."

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Sei watched from the shadows as Akiha leaned down to kiss Umeda. The doctor didn't shove him away like the kid thought he would. That was surprising. As much as Umeda had yelled at the photographer the one time he'd seen them together, he would have thought the doctor would have reacted violently. But then it was obvious Umeda was smashed out of his mind. So maybe the doctor wasn't aware enough to really know what was going on. But then Sei felt jealousy surge through him at the look on Umeda's face when Akiha pulled away. Clearly that kiss had not only been a shock but greatly pleased the doctor. Umeda had never looked at him that way.

He watched them talk for a few moments, debating on whether he should come out or not. He made a decision and began to step out. His feet froze when Akiha kissed the doctor again. This time it was entirely different. It wasn't just a press of lips like the last one. No this one, the doctor answered to. Sei felt his heart drop into his feet as he watched. There was no denying the kind of magnetic attraction the two had for each other. He could feel it from here and see it in how Umeda responded. The doctor may be in serious denial, but anyone else with a good pair of eyes could see he definitely was attracted to the photographer. He sighed in relief when Akiha drew back once more. Then Umeda smiled.

Beautiful.

Umeda looked so damned beautiful in that one moment as he looked up into Akiha's eyes. Sei felt a wave of sadness rush over him. He'd never gotten the doctor to smile like that at him. What did it all mean? Was the doctor to blissed out to care who was touching him? Or was it really because of Akiha that Umeda was smiling like that? Either way it hurt to watch it happen.

"Fuck," he groaned.

He really was starting to fall for Umeda. He shouldn't care so much. He knew better. But he did care and that scared him. He knew without a doubt that Umeda would never return his feelings. The relationship they had was comfortable and exciting, but it didn't have a lasting feeling to it. It felt to good to last. Eventually it would run its course in Umeda's mind and the doctor would dump Sei.

And Sei had a feeling Umeda just realized what the kid had known all along. That Akiha was seriously in love. And that the two had a history and attraction that couldn't be ignored. Sei was just a vessel for Umeda's need to escape. It was never meant to be anything else. Sei was the one who'd let himself get swept away. Standing there watching them made him envious. Being with Umeda for a few weeks had made Sei want something with someone that was deeper than just a temporary thing. He wanted something more permanent now. Funny how that man had made him want so much to have what he'd always said he'd never wanted.

He knew it was time to get away. He needed to leave before he got to attached to Umeda. He didn't want to be hurt in the end. But he'd wait a little longer. He had to make sure Umeda was ready to accept Akiha before he broke it off. He couldn't leave the doctor high and dry without anyone. It would be needlessly cruel. For now, Umeda still needed him. And Sei wasn't ready to call it quits just yet.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Be a responsible reader and review! Or come back... or something.

Once again thanks to all of you who review. I appreciate it very much. To all of you that don't but continue to return anyways, I still love you. It's nice to know that at least there are tons of people still reading it. But for serious, please leave a review if you feel it's a good enough story to keep coming back to. You'd make me so happy. And I need a pick me up like crazy.

**SO COME ON DO IT! REVIEW ALREADY!**


	7. Chapter 7Confessions

Disclaimer: Steal Sei or Reiji and I will hunt you down. Nothing else belongs to me as far as Hana Kimi is concerned.

This chapter is dedicated to: Rinc! :D Because you asked me to update nowish. Thanks for reviewing!

A/N: Holy crap man! We're already at seven chapters! This story is so much longer than I thought it would be. I've got at least three more chapters to go with this baby. This is a very busy and long chapter. Lots of stuff going on. So hopefully, I can keep y'all interested enough to keep coming back for the rest of it. Oh yeah, and...

Lemon warning! Yes there is a lemon in this chapter! Saints be praised! Now on to the story!

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

Umeda woke up with a growl of pain and a sick feeling roiling in his stomach unpleasantly. Morning light stabbed into his eyes magnifying the pain in his head twice over. Oh shit, was he hung over. He wished he could just lie there until the hang over faded away. Unfortunately, his bladder was screaming for relief. He slowly pushed himself up into a semi-sitting position. He moved as carefully as possibly, trying not to upset his already weak stomach.

He glanced around carefully. It was a bit of a shock to find himself completely alone. He was still mostly clothed from the night before. He knew he hadn't been alone last night when he'd come home. Thinking was something he had to force around the haze in his brain. It had been so long since he'd been completely smashed. He'd forgotten how useless he was afterward.

Then suddenly the memory came to him. Akiha! The photographer had brought him home. He vaguely remembered the car ride. The memory of a kiss suddenly stuck out like a beacon in his mind. Holy shit! Had he really kissed Akiha? He did remember enjoying it, but then he'd been trashed. After the kisses everything became pretty vague. He didn't even recall how he'd gotten into bed. For that matter, where was Akiha? The photographer could have had him easy last night in that condition. Umeda's 'no' button was broken when he was roaring drunk.

He didn't feel like he'd been screwed. There were no aches in any awkward places, no sex smell, and no sticky sheets. He knew Akiha wouldn't take advantage of him. The man would never have done something like. It wasn't his way. The silly fool had more honor and good intentions than that. Still Umeda was sure the photographer must have been more than a little tempted. Who wouldn't be? However, it was a little shocking that Akiha would just leave him there on his own too. He would have expected to wake up to an overly cheerful, concerned Akiha. Not that he was complaining. Having that kind of enthusiasm near him so early in the morning (with a hang over added in) probably would have driven him to murder.

Still, had really fucking kissed Akiha? He found himself hoping he'd been dreaming. Although a small part, betrayed him and hoped not. Because if it was true then those had been some damn good kisses. Oh forget it! He cringed. He wasn't going to think about it. In fact, he didn't feel like really doing anything at all. Maybe today would be a good day to call in sick.

He frowned to himself. He'd really been using a lot of sick days lately. His bosses were gonna start thinking something was wrong. Well, fuck it. He felt like hell. The chance of being worth anything to anyone today was pretty slim. Staying in bed and nursing is nasty hang over sounded like a much better idea. Who the hell wanted to go a high school and be harassed by annoying kids all day long when they were hung over? It was just another situation that may drive him to murder. So for his sanity and his students safety, he called off work.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

It was really freaking annoying how much Umeda's mind seemed to stay stuck on Akiha. It had been two days since Akiha had brought him home from the bar. Yet, he found himself still dwelling on everything that had happened between them that night. With everything that had transpired while he was drunk he had hoped he could chalk the reaction to Akiha's kisses up to the booze. But the most frustrating thing of all is he knew deep down that on some strange level he'd been hoping for those kisses. Akiha got under his skin. The photographer made Umeda react more strongly to him then the doctor ever had to anyone else. In some freakish way, Umeda had always been jealous of Akiha's openness with his feelings. He'd never held them back. Yeah, maybe they were broad casted a bit to loudly but at least he was honest about it.

Umeda had done nothing but hide his feelings behind his sarcasm and attitude instead of saying how he truly felt about anything. So yeah, he'd envied Akiha in that matter. And he'd by no means ever thought Akiha was anything other than beautiful the very first day he met him. His long blond hair, happy, bright eyes, and charming smile had grated on Umeda's nerves. Not because he thought it was to much. It was because the first thing Umeda had ever thought about Akiha was that he was beautiful. That had completely shocked him. In fact, it had pissed him off. He didn't want to find Akiha attractive. At least not at that time. His thoughts had been locked on Ryoichi.

Now it was blatantly obvious he'd been avoiding any kind of attraction to Akiha like a plague. And why really? Jealousy? Maybe somewhat. Or because he'd thought Akiha a brainless, overly cheerful idiot? Ok, yeah. But mostly it was because he'd wanted to stay focused on Ryoichi. And that crazy nut, Akiha, had been trying to horn in and distract him away from the man he really wanted. Well now that man was gone and it was Akiha who had stuck around. It was the photographer who had stepped in to try and help Umeda pick up the broken pieces.

"Fuck," Umeda sighed.

All the stupid arguments he'd instigated with Akiha since Ryoichi had broken his heart. The photographer had only been trying to help in his over zealous, annoying way. Umeda had merely used him as an outlet for his anger. And for whatever reason, the stupid photographer kept coming back for more. Umeda had to admire that kind of persistence despite himself.

Umeda could have easily gotten a cab that night and left Akiha to search for him. Instead he hadn't, because he'd wanted someone come play his white knight. He'd wanted someone to save him. He could have called Sei to come get him, but the kid hadn't even crossed his mind. And it was Akiha who'd called and then ordered him to stay put. The unrelenting firmness had shown a new side of Akiha that Umeda could respect. The photographer had even lent him a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear. He'd brought Umeda home. He could have easily gotten into the doctor's pants that night especially after those kisses. But Akiha hadn't, because he had respect for Umeda that he'd never earned.

Maybe that was what was most irritating of all. Ever since those kisses, Umeda couldn't stop his brain from going back to them. His mind was on an endless loop of continuing questions. Like, what if Umeda had slept with Akiha? What would it have been like? Would things have gotten awkward between them? Would Akiha have left like Ryoichi did once he got what he'd wanted? Would the photographer's declarations of love cease if they had slept together? More precisely, had the alcohol made those kisses better than he really thought? Was it booze and wild hormones that had blown those kisses all out of proportion? If he kissed Akiha again would it feel the same or would he be disappointed?

"Ugh!" he groaned, dropping his face into his hands. Why was he letting himself get so carried away by all of this? It was ridiculous to be thinking of Akiha like this. The guy probably just wanted to get into his pants. No one ran around shouting declarations of love like that and truly meant it, right?

"Umeda-sempai!"

Umeda's head snapped up so fast he was sure he'd given himself whiplash. Akiha bounded into the room with Mizuki in tow.

"Look we brought you home made cookies! Made by Mizuki-chan!" Akiha grinned.

Umeda had to stare at the blond for a moment. Blinking hard, he shook his head. Had he really been thinking all that about this crazy idiot? He had to be outta his mind! "You probably poisoned them."

"Only with my love, Sempai!" the photographer declared with a laugh.

"Ugh!"

"Umeda-san, please try one. I made them for the home room class, but I wanted to make sure you got some too," Mizuki smiled cutely.

The doctor shook his head. If he were straight Mizuki wouldn't be safe. She really was cute and she had no idea what she did to Sano. Or any of the other guys for that matter. God, if only he could go through life that dense. "Thank you, Mizuki," he sighed, taking a few cookies so she would leave him be. "Now, you better get on to your classes or your body guards may come searching for you."

She laughed and bid both of them good bye. They door shut quietly behind her. An awkward silence descended both of men, as Umeda shifted uncomfortably. Umeda's eyes dropped down to Akiha's mouth as the photographer finally broke the silence. The doctor wasn't really listening. His thoughts were to wrapped up in pondering. Were those lips really as soft as he remembered? Did Akiha really kiss with that kind of unrestrained passion? His mind couldn't have made all of that up. The urge to find out for sure was like an itch in a place that was rude to scratch in public. It nagged at him.

"Sempai?" Akiha's voice startled him.

"Yeah," he asked peevishly. He could have sworn he saw a twinkle of knowing in the other man's eyes.

"Did those pictures help with your article?" the photographer repeated his question.

Umeda forced his brain to focus again. "Yes, they did." He hesitated before saying. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. How'd the article turn out?" Akiha continued with the polite conversation.

"Very well. I sent it into the magazine editors yesterday. They praised your pictures to the point of annoying." the doctor replied.

Akiha beamed despite the annoyed words. "Well, Sano-kun and the rest of Osaka's fine athletes were very helpful."

"Right," Umeda said distractedly. Akiha wasn't really that pretty. Not really. His mind was just over fantasizing the whole thing.

"You know, Sempai, you seem very distracted today," Akiha startled Umeda out of his thoughts once more.

Umeda blinked and sat back suddenly. When had the photographer moved? Akiha was now leaning across Umeda's desk with a knowing smile on his face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to wake up beside you the other morning," the photographer said, easily picking up on the source of the doctor's distraction.

"Don't say it like that! It sounds overly suggestive. And I didn't want you there anyways," the doctor snapped irritably as a blush spread lightly across his cheeks.

"Well, I wanted to be there. I wanted to hold you all night. And I wanted a hundred more kisses," Akiha smiled charmingly.

Umeda cringed. "That sounded so corny."

"But it was true."

"Then why didn't you. I wouldn't have even put up a fight," Umeda said, challenging the photographer.

Akiha replied in a soft voice. "Because, Sempai, I want you when I know it's me you really want. Not just another toy, but me."

"And if that day never comes?" the doctor asked waspishly.

"I'd hope for eternity," Akiha answered, learning further forward until their faces were inches apart.

"Why?" Umeda already knew the answer.

"Because I love you," Akiha said before closing the distance.

Umeda really should have seen it coming. Or maybe he did and he quelled the reflex to push away. Either way, Akiha was kissing him and Umeda wasn't entirely surprised. What did shock him was that the passion was just as potent as he remembered. It made his heart pound in response. Akiha's hand came up to tip the doctor's face to a better angle. The electric feel of his fingers on Umeda's skin made him breathe in sharply. Akiha's tongue danced past the doctor's lips and swept into his mouth, tasting him fully. The velvety glide of the photographer's tongue over Umeda's might have brought the doctor to his knees if he'd been standing.

Umeda heard someone whimper and he was sure it was himself. Here was the answer to all those questions that had been plaguing him. And he wasn't sure if he was relieved his mind hadn't tricked him or shocked that Akiha was making his body respond like this. He was at a loss of how to feel. So he stopped trying to figure it all out right that second. Instead, he reached up to slide his fingers through Akiha's hair. But the photographer was already pulling away. The doctor's hands fell back to the desk, limply, as they separated.

"You kissed me," Umeda said dumbly. Only Ryoichi had ever rendered him in eloquent like that. And sadly, it had been when Umeda had been to damn shocked by sadness and anger. It was entirely new to have the same effective from only a kiss.

Akiha smirked. "You didn't push me away."

A sharp knock on the door shocked them both out of the weird moment.

"Come in!" Umeda barked.

A student hurried in cradling his hand. The doctor sighed and grumbled about clumsy students.

"Well, Umeda-sempai, I must be going. If you need any more pictures let me know. See you later!" Akiha grinned cheerfully before exiting the room as flamboyantly as he had entered it.

Umeda stared after him for a long moment, feeling slightly dazed and little at a lose. Somehow, he found he had a lot more thinking he needed to do. His eyes flitted over to the waiting student. In the mean time his job required the proper attention.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Umeda stepped out of a small pharmacy with a plastic bag of supplies for his shelves at work. He didn't need to go buy his own supplies, but it made him feel better. The shit the school ordered was usually the cheapest they could find. Most of the time, Umeda would suck it up and make due. But there were some things he refused to skimp out on. And all he had to do was bring the receipts to his bosses to get compensated back for the supplies. He was double checking his list to make sure he didn't miss anything when he saw a familiar face out of the corner of his eye.

He looked over and smiled like a wolf about to jump a bunny. Reiji, Sei's best friend, was making his way inside a nearby well known gay bar. Umeda had always found it ironic to have a pharmacy so close to such a place. It was where the doctor had originally met the little uke. So he wasn't to surprised to see Reiji there again. For whatever reason, he decided to follow the kid inside. He had an insane urge to bother the uke just for sport. He kept well back until Reiji had seated himself at the bar and ordered his first drink.

"Konnichiwa, Rei-chan," Umeda smirked, as he sat down beside the kid at the bar.

The slim built college kid flushed hotly. "Umeda-san."

Umeda let his eyes wander over the kid for a moment. It had been some time since their brief fling. Still if there was any kid who matched the ridiculous stereotype of uke it was Reiji. The kid was all of 5'5 in height with a girly cute face, expressive eyes, and light build. He dressed like the typical uke in the tight pants and form fitting shirt. Unlike the other ukes though Reiji was much stronger willed than he appeared.

"I heard you were with Sei," Reiji remarked somewhat coldly.

Umeda was unfazed as he dug in his pockets for his cigarettes. "If you want to call it that."

"What would you call it?" the kid snapped irritably.

"You of all people should know the answer to that best," Umeda answered evenly as he placed a smoke between his lips and lighted it. "Taking out your misplaced jealousy on me is pointless."

"You know I'm in love with him," Reiji bit out with a glare.

Umeda remarked aloofly. "Yes, I remember you telling me about a guy you loved after I screwed you."

Reiji flushed again. "Why'd you go after him then?"

"Come off it, Rei-chan. If you don't have enough balls to go after him yourself you have no say in who does him, ne?" Umeda lighted up a smoke and took a deep drag. He tried to ignore the pain welling in his own heart at those harsh words. He blew out a shuddering breath of smoke. "Besides he came to me, not the other way around."

"Well, dump him then!"

"Why? So he can sit next to you at the bar again, oblivious of your feelings while he bemoans the situation. If you want me to let him go then start going after him yourself," Umeda snapped, angry for the first time. He knew it was himself he was mad at– not this kid. Reiji reminded him of how he had been with Ryoichi. He wanted to yell at the kid to snap out of it and be strong like he hadn't been.

"That's rich coming from you," Reiji countered. The kid had some idea of the situation of the doctor had been in.

Umeda's expression darkened suddenly. "Don't push me, Rei-chan."

Reiji scowled, folding his arms over his chest in a huff. Umeda sighed heavily as his anger melted away. He, of all people, knew best the kind of frustration Reiji was feeling. And to take out his own on the kid was unfair.

"Listen to me," Umeda spoke quietly. His tone was surprisingly gentle. "If you want Sei then tell him you love him. I know it's easier to say than do. But do it before you lose him to someone else. Even if you get rejected afterwards at least you can say you did your best. Do it before he's gone."

"Why are you telling me this?" Reiji asked softly. He could see the pain in the older man's eyes. "Don't you want Sei? He's falling for you, you know."

"I'm telling you because I lost the man I loved. I was to much of a coward to speak up. I never told him how I felt," Umeda took a shaky drag off his cigarette. Only a few months ago he would never have spoken this way out loud. It was to personal, but he wanted to help this kid. No one should have to suffer like this because of love. "I don't think it would have made a difference in his decision if I had spoken up. But I think I would have felt stronger knowing I had tried." He looked over at Reiji. "I can't and won't return Sei's feelings."

Umeda stood up abruptly, stubbing out his cigarette. He paused in leaving when Reiji caught hold of his sleeve.

"I'm sorry," the kid said.

"Just tell him, ne?" Umeda replied, before walking away.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Reiji had been agonizing over Umeda-san's words since their previous encounter three days ago. He hated to admit it, but the doctor had made some pretty damn good points. He could see in Umeda-san's eyes when they spoke what kind of suffering the man had been through. The advice he had been given had been reasonable. And Reiji didn't want to find himself in a similar situation as the doctor simply because he'd been to much of a coward to confess. He was no coward. Well, in everything except confessing his love to a certain person.

That was beside the point. Everything Reiji had ever wanted he went after with the burning desire to persist until it was his own. Why had he let his fear over ride his own nature as far as catching Sei went? It was a risk to confess to Sei. He could lose their precious friendship. Or Sei would reject his love, but merely decide to stay friends. And Reiji didn't know if he could do that. It had been so hard to live with him and near him for so long without saying anything. If he confessed and was then forced to act like nothing had changed, he was sure he would break. So it was a risk, but he was tired of lying to himself. He was sick of letting his fear over power him. Umeda-san was right. He needed to tell Sei before he found he'd lost to someone else before he had even tried.

Now the trouble was figuring out when exactly to say it to Sei. He glanced over at his best friend, who walked by his side. They were on their way to a movie for the first time in a while. It had been a some time since they had last hung out. It certainly made Reiji happy to have his love all to himself for the afternoon. Now if only he could get Sei to stop chattering and give him a chance to talk.

"Sei?" the uke tried to cut in.

The other paused for a moment. "Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something?" Reiji said anxiously.

"Well, can't it wait. I was telling you something important," Sei remarked, not unkindly.

The uke frowned. "No, it really can't."

"But–."

"I love you, you stupid idiot!" Reiji yelled at him in frustration. Oh, that had so come out completely unlike he had wanted it to. He cringed at himself.

Sei stopped mid-step and turned to face his best friend in complete shock. "What?" He felt momentarily struck dumb. He completely forgot what he had been talking about in an instant.

"You heard me," the uke scowled.

"But why? I mean why are you telling me now?" He felt totally blind sided and confused. "I've known you since before high school. It's kinda late."

Reiji looked a little taken aback himself. "I didn't want you to hate me. You're always jumping from sex toy to sex toy. And I don't wanna be a toy. I want you to love me! If I told you I was afraid I would scare you off."

"But why now?" Sei persisted. He needed to know this.

"Because I panicked. I see you falling for the doctor and I couldn't stand it," the uke replied sheepishly. It was true enough. Reiji wasn't about to tell Sei that it was Umeda who'd given the kick in the ass to confess.

Sei shifted his weight from foot to foot as though all of this over. What was he supposed to do about this? Reiji had been his closest friend for more than 5 years. They'd been through it all together for such a long time. Close as brothers. Though there were times he'd felt more fondness and even desire than one ever should for a brother. He loved Reiji, but was there a possibility or chance of being _in love_ with Reiji.

"Look, Reiji, I don't know what exactly to say to that," he admitted. "I'm very fond of you, but beyond that I don't know."

The uke hunched his shoulders like he'd been shot in the back. "I understand."

Sei frowned and moved closer to hug his friend. Reiji stiffened for a moment before relaxing into the embrace. The uke looped his arms around his love's waist and rested his cheek against Sei's shoulder. They had always been this comfortable with each other. They'd never felt strange about touching each other. But Reiji wanted more than comfort. He wanted Sei to love him back.

"I never want to hurt you," Sei murmured.

Reiji sniffled back tears. "I know."

"Let me think about this, ok? Gimme a few days to let it sink in," Sei tightened his arms a little.

The uke nodded against his friend's shoulder. "Ok."

"Good," he pulled away, and tousled Reiji's hair. "Now c'mon. We have a movie to catch." But his mind wasn't on the movie at all.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

It felt different tonight to Umeda. Something about Sei had changed the dynamics between them. The kid wasn't fighting to play top like he normally did. He put on a good show like he did. But Umeda could sense Sei's behavior was off. The kid had dominated over Umeda as soon as they'd hit the bed. His nips and bites bordered on aggressive. The passion he was letting loose was unlike any Umeda have ever seen from the kid. It swept the doctor away in a whirlwind of lust. Then Sei pressed the bottle of lube into Umeda's hand. The action itself tripped up the doctor's one way thoughts. The earnest (almost desperate) look in the kid's eyes had made Umeda freeze in place.

"I wanna ride you," Sei said softly.

Umeda stared up at the kid in shock. Sei had never ridden him before. Of all things they had done together that had yet to be one of them. Why now? He decided not to argue. If that was what the kid wanted then he wasn't about to turn him down. He wanted sex and he really didn't care how he got it at this point. "Yeah," was all he said, as he spread lube on to his fingers. He prepared Sei slowly, half sitting up so he could nip and kiss at the hollow of the kid's throat. Sei moaned as the doctor tortured him with mouth and fingers.

Sei threw his head back as Umeda pressed over the kid's sweet spot. "Hurry up!" he begged, undulating his hips against the doctor's skilled fingers.

Umeda pulled his fingers free and grinned as Sei shoved him back down flat. The kid wrapped his hand around the doctor's cock as he positioned himself. Umeda groaned in frustration as Sei hovered just about the doctor's throbbing cock. For a moment their eyes met. There was a brief flicker of sorrow in Sei's eyes, but it was gone quickly. Then the kid was sinking down onto Umeda and everything else was forgotten. The doctor moaned deep as he was swallowed up in tight heat. The kid took him in with one smooth, deep thrust of his hips downward. Sei set the pace in long, deep strokes, drawing out the feeling for both of them. Umeda reached up to clasp the kid's hips as he flexed his hips up to meet Sei's thrusts. For long moments, they were lost in the torturous pace. Umeda was soon panting with the effort to hold himself back.

Sei leaned forward, propping his hands up on Umeda's shoulders as he increased the pace. The doctor almost sighed in relief. He could feel his orgasm building rapidly and gritted his teeth as fought to hold it off. He let go of Sei's right hip and wrapped his hand around the kid's weeping cock. A few strokes later, Sei was coming with a gasping yelp. Umeda grabbed the kid's hips hard and slammed into him three more times. He came hard, fingers digging into Sei's soft flesh.

The doctor relaxed into the mattress as Sei collapsed onto Umeda's chest. He reached up with his non-sticky hand to tousle Sei's hair affectionately. He felt the kid tremble and let out a shuddering breath. He wondered what was upsetting the kid. He didn't ask as Sei rolled off of him and reached for the pack of cigarettes. The kid handed it over to Umeda along with a lighter. He watched as the doctor lit up a smoke. Umeda took a long drag from the cigarette before offering it to the kid.

"I knew it was always just about the sex," Sei remarked suddenly, accepting the cigarette from Umeda and taking a deep drag off of it. "I was the one that came to you for it. But you're irresistible, Doc."

Umeda made a rude noise and shook his head. "You're a bad liar, Sei."

"I'm not lying. I really started falling for you," the college kid admitted quietly. He looked down at the cigarette in his hand to avoid looking at the doctor. "You're so beautiful, but you have this sad look in your eyes. Even when you're smiling and pretending, it's so obvious you're hurting. I wanted to be the one to make you smile for real."

"The one who can do that is gone," Umeda closed his eyes and sighed.

Sei smiled sadly. "No, he's not. He's been standing right in front of you for months. You just don't notice."

"I assume you mean Akiha?"

"When I saw how much in love he was with you, I had to make a decision. I can't compete against him, Doc. I don't want to. I like you a lot, but Akiha-san really loves you," Sei told Umeda.

Umeda snorted. "Akiha is in love with what he can't obtain."

"No, he's not. You may not try to see it but he'd do anything for you. I've seen it in the way he looks at you and touches you. And you smiled that one time...just for him, you smiled," Sei pointed out softly. "I think, Doc, it's time to let go of Ryoichi. Akiha's waiting for you."

"And you?"

Sei took another drag on the cigarette and let it out with a sigh. "I think it's time you and I break it off. I've been running away from someone to for a while now. I only now realized what he means to me."

"Reiji."

"Yes, he confessed he loved me today," the kid admitted.

Umeda smirked around the cigarette dangling between his lips. "About damn time."

Sei blinked in bafflement. "Huh?"

"I told that silly uke he needs to open his fucking mouth and tell you," the doctor replied calmly.

"Wait, you told–," Sei's brain seemed to short circuit. "But he said..."

Umeda had to laugh at the kid's completely confounded expression. "I don't know what he told you, but I ran into him three days ago. I basically told him to stop being a puss."

The kid stared at him. "Well, that changes things a little."

"How so?"

"Well, I don't think he lied about the reasons he gave me. But why wouldn't he say you told him to?" Sei wondered.

The doctor snorted. "Would you want to admit your rival gave you relationship advice?"

"No, I guess not." Sei grinned.

"There yah go."

"Yeah, well anyway, I wanna try with him. I want to see if I can make it work," Sei confessed. "I've been thinking about it a lot since he told me. He's always been there for me. And I love him."

Umeda nodded. "Fair enough. Good luck."

"Thanks, Doc. You too," Sei leaned over and pressed one last soft kiss against the doctor's mouth. "It was really good."

"Yeah," Umeda smiled back. "It was."

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I. **

Be a responsible reader and review!

I hope that wasn't as choppy as a I thought it was in places. There was a lot of stuff going on in this chapter that were pretty important. I was trying very hard to make sure I got it alright and fit it into the right places. But let me know what yah think. Your comments and advice are always listened to. Once again, thanks for sticking around for another chapter. Extra thanks to everyone who reviewed. You should all get hugs and cookies. I hope you all come back for more. See yah next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8Taking Steps

Disclaimer: Yeah, not mine. With the exceptions of Tadame Sei and Reiji. Please don't steal them. I may let you borrow them if you flatter me enough. :P

A/N: I'm updating frequently, because I'm on a roll. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. You all were very kind to me. Thanks for a few who pointed out some grammatical errors. I'll go back and re-edit that later. I appreciate you all giving me decent criticism. Anywho, I was quite shocked by most of you saying you were sad that Sei and Umeda didn't end up together. I take that as a very high compliment to my character. Sei was a joy to write. I love him too. This is the final chapter with him in it. So enjoy! Oh, and sorry no lemon in this chapter either. Once again, no where to put one, but don't worry there are other things to make up for it.

**Chapter Eight**

Once again Reiji found himself alone on a Saturday night in a busy gay bar without his best friend. Usually an occasional night by himself at a club or bar wasn't so bad. He'd come to accept that Sei's sexual appetite kept him to busy sometimes to hang out with Reiji. But never had Sei been in this kind of relationship with one of his sex toys. The uke was used to his friend playing around for a day or two and then coming back to Reiji. But Umeda had captured Sei's attention and completely diverted it away from Reiji. It was upsetting and saddening to feel so alone with the added feelings of losing his best friend.

He felt like an idiot for blurting out his love confession to Sei like that. He had a feeling he had scared his best friend away for good. Sei was known for being skittish as soon as someone got to serious on him. Fear that he made things horribly awkward between them twisted his gut. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost his best friend. For years, they had stuck together. If Sei abandoned him now...

A strong hand settled on his shoulder, making his jump and nearly fall off his stool. He swung his head around to Sei grinning at him. Instantly, a wave of relief washed over him. He resisted the wild urge to glomp his friend as Sei sat down next to him.

"I thought you'd be with the doctor tonight," Reiji remarked casually as he could manage.

Sei sighed. "Nah." He gestured to the bar tender to bring them both drinks.

"Why not?" his friend couldn't keep the blatant curiosity out of his voice.

"We broke up," Sei looked over at the uke with a smile.

Reiji could barely keep the relief off his face. "You finished it?" he breathed.

"Yeah, we were just sex buddies," Sei shrugged.

"But that's what you like," Reiji stared at him in surprise.

Sei nodded. "Yeah, I did. Then I realized you were right. I was getting serious about him. I also realized I didn't have a chance with him either. Maybe I would have been persistent otherwise."

The conversation paused as the bar tender set down to glasses of beer.

"No chance at all?" Reiji took his drink and twirled his glass around on the table top.

"Not against the competition I had. I was out classed," Sei grinned. "But I don't mind to much."

Reiji nodded as he took all this in carefully. He took a gulp of his beer and then remarked nonchalantly, "So it's back to hunting again?"

"Nah," Sei said with a rueful smile. "I'm done with that. I want something with meaning now. The doctor made me want that for myself. Just sex buddies can only last so long. I want something more permanent."

"If you're done hunting then how are you gonna find someone to be with?" the uke asked in confusion.

"I don't have to go hunting. I know exactly where to find him. He was near me all along, I just didn't know it at the time," Sei replied in a sort of riddle.

Reiji swallowed hard. He dared to hope that maybe this was going in the direction he prayed. He kept his feelings in check though. There had been to many times he'd hoped only to be let down. He had become more cautious with his feelings. "Who is he?"

Sei shrugged lightly. "He's an old high school friend. I've known him for years. We've always been very close. He was always there for me when I needed him." He gave Reiji a small, sly smile.

Reiji felt his heart pound louder. This couldn't be true. It was to good to be real. He hardly dared to breathe as Sei leaned in close to him.

"He was right here with me all the time and I took it for granted," Sei whispered, reaching out to clasp the back of the uke's neck gently. "Will you give me a chance to make that up to you?"

Reiji felt a sob hitch in the back of his throat as he pressed his forehead against Sei's. "Yes," he gasped. "Oh yes."

Sei angled his mouth to the side and kissed his best friend in a soft, tender press of lips full of promises. The quiet little moan Reiji let slip brought a smile to his friend's face.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to realize the truth," Sei murmured.

"I would have waited forever," Reiji admitted almost inaudibly.

"I won't make you wait like that ever again," Sei promised even though it was foolish. It didn't matter, because he'd found what he wanted. He was going to keep his promise to Umeda to be happy. No regrets. He'd look to the future and hope.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Umeda leaned against the school wall of Osaka High, feeling somewhat like a delinquent teenager as he smoked his cigarette. It was lunch time for the students and time for a well earned break for the doctor. So he had gone outside for some fresh air. He needed some time to think about everything that had happened since last night. Why did it seem like everyone was slowly leaving him? Life never had been kind with him and the relationships he tried. Ryoichi had found someone and Umeda was left in the other man's wake to wonder what had happened. His quick, fierce fling with Sei had been only sex at the start. He would admit, albeit, not out loud that he had grown attached to the kid. He had more passion than most people dared wish to have...save Akiha.

"Umeda-sempai!"

Speaking of which, thought Umeda with a heavy sigh. He looked up through his bangs to see the photographer striding over to him. He let his eyes trail over Akiha thoughtfully. Things between them had definitely taken an interesting turn. One, Umeda never would have guessed would happen only a few weeks ago. The blond's hair seemed to shine brightly in the sunlight and his cheerful smile was a surprisingly welcome sight. Then again, maybe Umeda was just feeling lonely. Loneliness always made people look different. Made them act desperate too. Oh, God, he couldn't be getting that desperate already, could he?

"Ohayo, Umeda-sempai!" Akiha stopped in front of the doctor.

Umeda sighed. "Ohayo. What do you want?"

The photographer shrugged and smiled brightly. "I sensed that you were in inner turmoil and needed me to make you happy."

The doctor stared at Akiha in surprise. How the hell had he figured that out? Intuitive people were so irritating sometimes. "Sei dumped me last night," Umeda told the photographer bluntly as he flicked away some of the ash on the end of his cigarette.

"He did?" Akiha was stunned. The kid had seemed determined to hang onto Umeda..

The doctor nodded, taking a drag of his cigarette. "He decided he wanted to date his best friend."

"That's good for him," the photographer remarked. He was relieved to hear it. He had never felt ill of the kid. He had seemed like a good guy. But Akiha would always be jealous of anyone who caught Umeda's attention besides himself. "Why?" he found himself asking.

"He realized I was never going to be serious with him. He finally decided he was done messing around, thanks to me," Umeda answered.

"What about you? How do you feel?" Akiha asked gently.

Umeda shrugged. "I'm glad for the kid. He deserved better than to be a rebound. But I was getting used to having him around."

Akiha pointed out. "I'll still be here."

"You wouldn't go away even if I wanted you to," the doctor remarked dryly.

The photographer grinned. "Exactly! So you always have someone to rely on!"

"Or abuse," Umeda murmured.

"I'm sorry about Sei," Akiha said.

"It's alright. I'll miss him," the doctor admitted quietly.

"I'm sure he'll miss you too."

Umeda snorted and shook his head.

"What? I bet he will," the photographer insisted.

"Shuttup," the doctor said, but with no real bite to it. He turned to go back inside and paused on the first step. He hesitated before looking back. "Would you like some tea?" He had no idea what had possessed him to ask. Maybe he really was that lonely already. Or else that meant he just wanted to actually spend some time with Akiha. That thought was a little frightening. He decided to shut that away for now.

Akiha lite up like someone had just given him the best gift in the world. "Yes!"

Umeda turned and walked up the steps. He could hear the photographer practically bouncing with joy behind him. He sighed. He really had to be possessed.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Umeda didn't know why he went that bar tonight. Maybe because it was such a strong tradition that had been up held for years that it was hard to break away from it. For years, he and Ryoichi had met here on the third Friday of every month. Sometimes one or both of them had missed a day but in the end they never went long without meeting here eventually. It was their place in a sense. The place was a meeting ground between them. The owner knew them by name and face and treated them with friendly respect. Now though it felt bitter sweet. It was hard for him to sit there at his favorite place at the bar. Everything he changed so much in only a few weeks. Sometimes it all felt so surreal and hard to believe. Especially when he was sitting here drinking like nothing was different. So it shocked him to speechlessness when he saw a familiar body slid on to the stool next to him.

"I didn't think you'd ever come back here," Ryoichi spoke first after several long, silent, and tense moments.

Umeda kept his eyes fixed on his drink. It took him another minute or two to find the will to speak. "I don't know why I did."

"Me either," the fortune teller admitted. He took an anxious drag off his smouldering cigarette.

The tense silence fell between them again. This time it was stronger and fraught with uneasy. Umeda had no intentions of instigating an kind of conversation. Ryoichi had always been terrible at starting one–not to mention keeping it going. The doctor was not going to be sympathetic of that. If Ryoichi wanted to talk, he was going to have to put himself out there. Kami, knows Umeda had done it enough for him.

"I was hoping to see you," Ryoichi finally managed to say.

The fact that he'd managed to say this was amazing to Umeda. He was not, however, going to let that sway him in to forgiving the damn man so easily. "Why?" Umeda spat the word out. He wanted to yell it. He really wanted an answer to the 'why' for everything Ryoichi had put him through over the years.

"Because you're my best friend," the fortune teller said quietly. He said it in that way that always gave away how embarrassed and uncomfortable he was. Umeda was glad. It was killing him to be sitting here next to the man after everything. Ryoichi shouldn't be having an easy time trying to talk to him. "And I needed to apologize..."

Umeda looked up at him for the first time. He was surprised to find that Ryoichi looked as tired and run down as he did. "Go on then," he refused to give any sign that he cared.

Ryoichi rolled his cigarette nervously between his fingers. "I'm sorry," he said at last. It was so simple sounding. It wasn't nearly enough. But Ryoichi wasn't done. "I'm sorry for leading you on, for my selfishness, for my complete disregard of your feelings, and for everything else."

Umeda felt an invisible weight leave from his chest. He suddenly seemed to be able to breathe easier. It was all he needed to hear. It didn't mean he immediately forgave Ryoichi. It just felt like now he would be able to. It seemed possible that their friendship might be able to survive this mess. They could go back to the way they had been. Perhaps not right now but he could see it happening. That relieved him more than words could say. Umeda dropped his eyes back to his glass to hide the sudden tears.

"Why?" Umeda asked softly. He still needed to know the 'why'.

Oddly, Ryoichi didn't need him to elaborate. He understood what the doctor was asking. "I knew you loved me for a long time. You've always been my best friend, but I knew I could never love you back the same way," Ryoichi paused for a moment. He was never prone to long periods of talking. It was probably part of the reason they had gotten into this mess. But Umeda needed to hear this, so he forced himself to continue. "I was selfish. I enjoyed the fact that you were in love with me. It was flattering and empowering. I liked monopolizing on your feelings, because it kept you close to me. But most of all I was afraid if I rejected your love, you'd leave me completely. I didn't want to lose you."

It took a moment for all of this to sink in. Ryoichi had never talked so much. But he was still hurt by everything the man had done. "So you dated behind my back, lied to me, and betrayed my friendship?"

"When you say it like that it seems so much worse," Ryoichi sighed heavily.

"That's the truth of it," Umeda said bluntly.

Ryoichi looked away in shame. "I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I wanted to at least apologize. I can't stand the thought of you hating me."

"I accept your apology," the doctor replied quietly.

"And do you forgive me?" Ryoichi asked hopefully.

Umeda shook his head. The fortune teller had always been so selfish. "I can't forgive you right now," the doctor answered straight. "What you did almost broke me. But I can't stand the thought of hating you either. So someday I will forgive you but not tonight."

"I guess that's only fair," Ryoichi agreed with a sad smile.

They sat in silence again for a moment.

"Can I buy you a drink?" the fortune teller inquired.

"Yeah, and give me a cigarette," Umeda smiled.

The symbolism of normal between them fell into place like a well oiled machine. The two finally felt like everything would be alright between them. They sat in companionable silence, drinking and smoking. Eventually they began to chat again about meaningless things. Ryoichi would never know the hell Umeda had been through. Or about the college kid he'd used as a rebound because of the fortune teller. Ryoichi would never understand any of that. Where as, Ryoichi was careful to avoid any mention of his fiancé. An hour or two slipped by with feigned easy companionship. An under current of hurt was still there but they were good actors. They could hide it or pretend it wasn't there.

"I heard you have a new boyfriend," the fortune teller remarked.

Umeda glanced over at his friend and smirked. "Yeah, I do." he lied. For some odd reason, Akiha popped into his mind. He banished it in shock.

"Who is he?" Ryoichi asked.

"None of your business. All you need to know is the sex is great," the doctor replied, ashing out his cigarette.

Ryoichi shrugged. "More than I want to know. Though it's a bit annoying to know that someone else is occupying all your time and thoughts."

"You'll have to find someone else to chase after you hopelessly," Umeda remarked, a tad coldly.

It was beginning to get late, but Ryoichi had something else on his mind. Umeda could always tell that about him. The fortune teller was twirling his glass in that way that the doctor knew so well.

"Look, I know this might be a terrible thing to ask after everything but...," Ryoichi hesitated.

"What?" Umeda asked a little worriedly.

Ryoichi twirled his glass again. "I'm getting married in a month-."

Umeda felt a spike of pain throb through his heart, but he hid it.

"I want you to be there," Ryoichi said quietly.

The doctor swallowed hard. The very thought of watching his former love walk down the aisle with someone else made him sick to his stomach. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Please," the word out of Ryoichi's mouth sounded almost foreign. "You're my best friend. I want you to be there. I want your support."

"Ryoichi...," Umeda shook his head.

Ryoichi reached out to touch him but pulled his hand away before it made contact with Umeda's arm. "I know it's selfish to ask you. We've been there for each other for every major event since high school. I really want you there."

"I'll try, Ryoichi, but I can't promise," Umeda softened, feeling his shoulders slump with defeat.

Ryoichi sighed. "Alright." There was another moment of long hesitation before Ryoichi finally clasped a hand around the back of Umeda's neck. The fortune teller loved the doctor like a brother. He should never have hurt the other man the way he had. He leaned forward until their foreheads touched. He felt Umeda's breath flutter against his face as the doctor's pulse pounded beneath his fingers. "I really am sorry I hurt you."

"Ryoichi, people are watching," Umeda protested softly.

The fortune teller shrugged. "So what?"

Umeda let the tension slip away and pressed his forehead against the fortune teller's. "It might have been easier to hate you."

"I'm glad you don't. Best friends still?" Ryoichi inquired.

Umeda smiled, trying to hide the sudden urge to cry again. "Always."

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Umeda stared across his office without seeing anything. He was to lost in thought to focus. When students came in for help, he worked on autopilot. It was perhaps the only time he'd never yelled while at the school. He didn't notice the tense looks students were giving him through out the day. They seemed to be waiting for him to snap at any moment. His eerie silence was more disconcerting than anything he'd ever done before. Even Mizuki, when she dropped by, couldn't get more than acknowledging nod.

Needless to say Akiha was totally put off when he came bounding in to a completely still and silent Umeda. The doctor didn't even flinch or yell when the photographer threw his arms around the Umeda's neck. That was when Akiha knew something was very wrong. It had been a few weeks since the doctor's last big break down. What could have possibly happened now to cause a relapse? At least back then, Umeda had reacted with anger after a little bit. This strange, distant behavior was something the photographer had never seen before.

"Umeda-sempai?" Akiha asked worriedly.

"Hmm...?" Umeda hummed.

The photographer sat down on the edge of the desk facing his love. "Sempai, did something happen with Ryoichi?"

At the mention of that name Umeda blinked and seemed to come out of his daze a little. "What?"

Akiha patiently repeated the question but Umeda didn't answer. He was quiet for so long that the photographer was about to repeat it.

"I met him at the bar last night," the doctor's voice startled Akiha.

"What happened?" Akiha asked with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Umeda sighed softly. "We talked and made up. I didn't forgive him. I can't yet. But he apologized."

Akiha felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He had been a little apprehensive that the doctor had repeated the same mistake as last time. Really, he should have known Umeda was smarter than that. "But that's good right?"

"Yeah," Umeda agreed distractedly. "I am happy about that."

"Then what else is bothering you?"

There was another long stretch of silence.

"He wants me to come to his wedding," Umeda answered finally. His voice broke a little as he spoke.

Akiha felt sympathy overwhelm him. "That was very selfish of him to ask."

"It was and he knew it. But he really wants me there," the doctor told him.

"What did you tell him?" the photographer couldn't help but inquire.

Umeda dropped his head into his hands. "I told him I'd try, but I didn't promise." He swallowed hard before admitting aloud what was hurting him. He didn't know why he admitted what he said next. "I don't think I can watch him vow to love someone else. It hurts to much to even think about it."

"I understand. You shouldn't push yourself. I don't want to see you hurt again. You deserve better than that," Umeda scowled at the thought of Ryoichi. The man was unbelievable.

Umeda let his hands fall back to the desk and smiled sadly. "It's hard to just let him go. I don't want to."

Akiha's shoulders dropped in equal sorrow. He knew better than anyone what that felt like. He couldn't condemn Umeda for it, because he was doing the same thing. Sei was right. He wasn't any better off. "If you decide to go...if you want I'll go with you," Akiha offered suddenly. He didn't know what possessed him to say that. But it had felt like the right thing to do.

Umeda looked up in surprise. "Why would you do that?"

"To support you. I'll be there for you," Akiha replied.

"I'll think about it," the doctor said, then shocked Akiha further by saying, "Thank you."

It was better than Akiha had hoped for. It was enough.

**H.A.N.A **K.I.M.I

Be a responsible reader and review!

Wow, I got more than a 1,000 hits on this story. And apparently a lot of returning readers too according to the stats. Thank you everyone who took a chance on my story and stayed to read!

This chapter was shorter than the last two. I hope it was still good anyways. Ryoichi came back for an appearance like some of you wanted. Sei got his happy ending. But we're not done yet. More angst coming up for Umeda. Stick around. We're coming down to the final chapters now. :D I'll be updating again as soon as I clean up the next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9Changes

Disclaimer: Der not mine!

A/N: Omg, this chapter has finally come! This was so hard for me to write and yet so much fun. And it's long so yay! I really don't want to say to much because I might give away what's gonna happen. So please hurry and read! I need feed back!

This chapter is dedicated to...ayafangirl! Thanks for your wonderful review. It made my day, which had been pretty crappy before hand. Hope you enjoy this chapter. :D

**Chapter Nine**

The next few weeks went by slowly. Life was somewhat lonely again without Sei to come home too. However, what happened was he was beginning to look forward to Akiha's visits, which had become more frequent. Where as before he saw the photographer every few days, now it was every other day and sometimes every day. Depending on when Akiha showed up, they would have tea or go to lunch. The hyperactive nature of the photographer didn't seem to be bothering him half so much anymore. But then he noticed it was becoming more toned down. And they actually got on much better than he would have guessed.

Akiha liked to regale him with his college stories and other adventures when they went to lunch. Umeda even found himself giving up a few small stories too. It didn't feel as weird to sit across from the photographer and be friends as he thought. He wondered what kind of friends they could have been like long before this if only he'd given the blond a chance. He didn't bother to dwell on it to much. Akiha always seemed to be smiling now. Not those fake, stupid smiles but actual happy smiles.

Umeda also began to admit freely in his mind that he really did find the photographer attractive. As soon as he did his mind had begun to fantasize all kinds of sexual things about Akiha. That had surprised him a little a first. In the morning when he woke up it was Akiha he thought of while he fisted his cock. He wanted to know what those hands and mouth felt like on the rest of his body. Sometimes it was a difficult to sit across from the man and not let those dirty thoughts run rampant through his mind. He had a feeling Akiha could sense it or see it in his eyes when this happened. Yet, nothing else ever happened between them. The photographer did not try to steal any more kisses. Umeda made no moves in attempting to carry out any of his less reputable thoughts. They stayed comfortably neutral with one another. And while that was nice, Umeda was beginning to crave something more.

However, none of that subject was anywhere near the top of his thoughts that day. It was two days before Ryoichi's wedding. He and Akiha were sitting outside on a bench on the Osaka high school grounds. The doctor was smoking while the photographer munched on a box of pocky. An empty bento box sat beside them that Akiha had made. Umeda couldn't even remember the last time he'd shared a bento box with anyone. Now it was quiet between them, but not awkward. It was just nice to have someone to sit with.

Finally, Umeda broke the silence. "Akiha, were you serious about going to the wedding with me?"

"Of course," the photographer replied, abandoning his pocky for the moment.

"I want you to come with me," the doctor said quietly.

Akiha looked over at him in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't want to be there by myself," Umeda admitted with some difficulty. He wasn't relishing even showing up there. He didn't think if he went alone he'd be able to get out what he needed to say. "I'm not planning on staying to whole time. I just have something I have to say to Ryoichi."

"I understand. And yes, I'll be there for you. In fact, I will pick you up," Akiha replied, firmly.

Umeda frowned. "You don't have to."

"I don't think you'll be in the mood to drive on the way back home," the photographer remarked.

Akiha had a point. Damn. "Alright." He had no urge to argue the point any further.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Umeda stood with his hand on the door knob of the Ryoichi's changing room. How he got there all seemed somewhat of a blur and unimportant. All that mattered was he was standing here now with this door between him and the man he needed to let go of. But he seemed stuck here. Unable to move past this damned door. He knew what he was about to do was a major defining step in the rest of his life. And that almost sounded corny, except that it was the truth. The last several years he'd hung his entire life on waiting and not changing for Ryoichi. He'd gotten nothing out of it. Nothing but disappoint, sorrow, and heart break. He didn't want to deal with it anymore.

"Umeda-sempai?" Akiha's voice woke him up from his wondering thoughts. "You gotta go in there."

The doctor took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Come in with me?" He hated how his voice trembled a little at the end. He hated how damn vulnerable and anxious he felt. But he didn't have to do this alone. He had Akiha.

"Of course," the photographer answered like Umeda knew he would.

Umeda knocked on the door and waited for the welcoming yell to come in. He pushed the door open then walked in. He stopped up short as Ryoichi turned around with his hands still on his tie. God, Ryoichi looked so good in that tux. It looked so right on him. For a moment, he forgot everything he had been going to say.

"Hokuto!" the fortune teller smiled. "I didn't think you'd show up."

The doctor managed to make himself walk forward. "I can't stay."

Ryoichi's eyes flickered with disappointment. "I understand. I'm just glad to see you."

"Look, Ryoichi, I only came because I have something I need to say," Umeda said.

Somehow having Akiha at his back made him just strong enough to be able to do this. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He needed to do this to be able to move on with his life. He hung on to Ryoichi for to long. It was time for him to let go.

"I love you," he stated as firmly as he could for the first time. "I probably always will. And I wish things between us could have been different. But I'm not gonna hang on anymore. I wish you the best."

He was surprised when Ryoichi suddenly closed the distance between them and pulled him into a hug. He let himself relax into the fortune teller's arms and hugged back fiercely. He took one last breath of Ryoichi's warm, intoxicating scent. It would be the last time they held each other this way.

Ryoichi's arms tightened briefly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Umeda sighed softly as his fingers clutched onto the fortune teller's tux. "No more apologizing. I just want you to be happy."

"I wish you could stay," Ryoichi admitted.

"I can't," Umeda pulled back so he could look into his best friend's eyes. He leaned forward to capture the fortune teller's lips in a soft, lingering kiss. It was sorrowful and so very final feeling. He broke it before the feelings could overwhelm him. "Good bye," he said, because it really was for his heart. It was the lock being turned on the door marked 'Ryoichi.' He could now let go.

They both dropped their arms and stepped away slowly. The reluctance to let go pulled at them, but it was time for change. It was long over due. Ryoichi was the first to turn away. He ran shaky fingers through his hair and straightened his tux. He paused at the door before opening it and walking out. He didn't look back as the door swung shut behind him. It might as well have slammed shut for the meaning it held to Umeda.

With the fortune teller gone, Umeda finally allowed his emotions to take over. He couldn't hold them back anymore. His whole body began to tremble as grief washed over him. He flinched when Akiha's hand gripped his shoulder from behind. He'd forgotten the photographer was there for a moment. He dropped his head, letting his bangs cover his eyes. The doctor didn't want Akiha to see him like this. The need to get away was overwhelming. When he started to try to leave the photographer held him fast.

"Let go," he choked out, voice thick with emotion.

"No," Akiha answered firmly.

Umeda snapped, but with no real bite. "I need to be alone!" He didn't want to look weak in front of the younger man. He didn't think he could stand it.

"Let me be here for you," Akiha turned him around gently.

The doctor shook his head as he struggled to hold back his tears. He felt his throat tightening and his stomach clench. Sorrow and heart break was beginning to crush down on him. He was moments away from losing his control. He refused to give into it. No here. Not with Akiha.

"Dammit, stop being stubborn," Akiha barked at the doctor angrily.

Umeda looked up in shock before he could stop himself. It was one of the few times Akiha had gotten mad at him.

"Screw your pride," Akiha scowled. "Cry already!"

That was all it took. It was like the photographer had broken Umeda wide open. He couldn't hold back anymore. The tears started to fall fast and hot. In moments, it overwhelmed him. He found himself caught up in Akiha's arms, but he didn't care. His arms seemed to move on their own. They were around the photographer a second later and holding on for dear life. His face was buried against Akiha's shoulder as he sobbed hard enough to make himself choke. It was months of tears held back that should have been shed a long time ago. He'd just been to damn stubborn. Now it was like the flood gates had been overwhelmed and finally ruptured. He felt like he cried forever.

Slowly, the tears began to subside and then stop. Umeda stood still for a few minutes after his tears ended. He simply remained wrapped up in Akiha's embrace. He was, to his surprise, reluctant to break away. It felt good to be held just for the sake of comfort. It was warm and caring. Entirely different from everything he was used to. He was slightly shocked by the strength he could feel in the other man. Why had he never noticed that?

"Umeda-sempai?" Akiha's voice startled him out of his thoughts.

He sighed heavily. "Don't say anything. Just...could you take me home?"

"Of course," the photographer replied gently.

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

It was almost like a re-run of when Akiha brought Umeda home last time. Only there was one very important difference. Umeda wasn't drunk this time. Yet the car ride was the same, the trip up to his apartment was the same, and now here they stood again outside of his door. Yet, not the doctor had no idea what to say to Akiha. He had so many things he needed to say, but no where to start. So he was a little shocked when the photographer broke the stall mate between them by pulling him into a hug.

"I'm sorry about Ryoichi," Akiha said gently.

"You do a lot of apologizing for other people," Umeda remarked.

"I don't like to see you hurting," the photographer replied.

The doctor sighed softly. "I'm alright, Akiha."

"Are you sure?"

"No, not really. But I don't want to think about it."

They stood together silently for a moment.

"Thank you," Umeda suddenly whispered.

Akiha didn't ask what for. The answer would have only been 'everything' anyways. So he merely said. "You're welcome."

"I'm sorry I've been an ass to you all these years," the doctor found himself saying.

"It's alright. Even when you were cruel I still loved you," the photographer remarked.

Umeda chuckled a little. No one else was so carefree with such serious words. But he knew Akiha meant them. He had learned that over the last few weeks. As he'd learned more about Akiha, he'd found the man to be a reflection in many ways of himself. Maybe that was what had irritated him so much for so long. He didn't like looking into the face of someone who was behaving the same as him in love. Yet, the photographer was somehow stronger than him in some ways he wished he could be. Akiha had the guts to speak up and confess, where as Umeda never had. The doctor realized now that he had refused to let go of his high school mentality towards the photographer. He kept the same perception of Akiha being the annoying, loud boy he had been as when they first met. Umeda had learned that on the outside maybe Akiha still acted that way, but beneath was an entirely different person. One he'd come to respect and like very much. He had begun to understand that he was the one who had never changed. Because of Ryoichi. He was really the immature one in some ways. What a shock that was to figure out. He had a few other things he wanted to find out, but those would take some hands on application. And now was as good a time as any to find them out.

"Akiha?"

"Yes, sempai?"

Umeda paused. "Would you kiss me?"

The photographer pulled back a little and stared down at Umeda like he'd gone nuts. The last few kisses they'd shared Akiha had stolen. He never thought in his waking hours that Umeda would ever ask to be kissed. For a moment, he could do nothing as excitement and happiness washed over him. He felt like a high schooler about to get his first kiss all over again. "Yes, I can," he heard himself saying, and he was before he realized it.

Kissing Akiha was not like kissing any of the other guys Umeda had ever locked lips with. Even Ryoichi's fast, ferocious kisses did not leave the same impression. It took him a while to realize just what exactly was different. Akiha kissed with the entire essence of all his emotions. Everything he felt was transferred through his kiss. And as weird or cliqued as it might sound, it was the first time Umeda felt real love in a kiss. It was stunning and heart melting. It was a thousand different feelings he had no words for. All he knew was that when Akiha kissed him, he wanted to let go everything and believe in the love being offered to him. It was so damn sentimental that it was hard for him to accept.

He pulled back from Akiha's lips, feeling the photographer's breath wash warmly over his face. When had everything changed? When had he started seeing Akiha in this way? After having a twice shattered heart in the course of only a few months, it seemed impossible. He was unwilling to believe things could change so quickly. Yet here he was inches from the photographer's face with his mouth still tingling from a kiss like no other.

"Good night, Umeda," Akiha said with a soft smile.

The doctor stared at him in amazement. The man just kissed him like that and he was gonna leave now? He twisted his hand on the door knob. The door sprang open. Before Akiha registered what was happening, Umeda grabbed him by his coat labels and yanked him inside. He slammed the door shut behind them with his foot. He backed the taller man into the wall, crowding into him so that Akiha had no means to escape without going through Umeda. He saw the photographer's eyes flick towards the door then down at the doctor in complete shock. Umeda didn't wait for him to process it all. He reached up, drew Akiha's face down to his and kissed him roughly. His fingers slid up to pull out the tie that kept the photographer's hair back. Akiha gasped then moaned as nimble fingers scraped over his scalp and brushed through his long hair. Akiha drew back sharply, unintentionally banging his head off the wall. He hissed softly as pain shot through his head. Umeda couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Umeda, what are you doing?" the photographer asked, as he clutched at the back of his head.

The doctor arched an eyebrow up. "Inviting you in."

"I really don't–," Akiha started to protest.

"You're already in," Umeda pointed out. "Do you really think I was gonna let you leave after you kissed me like that? You wanted to come in."

The photographer swallowed hard at the knowing, lusty look in the doctor's eyes. "I did, but..."

"But what?" Umeda stared at him darkly.

"I don't wanna be a rebound," Akiha blurted out.

The doctor froze for a second. He let his hands fall away from the other man before stepping back. He felt like Akiha might as well have shouted it for the effect it'd had on him. He felt like someone had dumped ice over him.

"That came out wrong," the photographer sighed.

Umeda shook his head. "No, I think I get it. Never mind." He turned away and began to make his way into the living room.

"Wait," Akiha protested. He reached out and grabbed the other man's wrist. "Wait!"

The doctor glanced back.

"Hear me out please," the photographer begged.

"Fine," Umeda snapped.

Akiha looked at him sadly. "I love you. I mean that in all seriousness. I would love to be with you like this. But you just had your heart broken again. Last time, you picked Sei. You needed him. I understood that. But I won't be another Sei. I can't just be a toy to you. I want to be with you when you truly want me, not just a quick fix."

The doctor gazed at him silently for a long moment. "I'm not looking for a quick fix. Look, I realized back there at the wedding...you've always been there for me. Even when I didn't want you and I was cruel to you. You keep coming back. And I get it now. I understand you're serious." He paused as awkwardness began to clog his brain. "All I've ever wanted was someone who I could rely on. Someone who wants me for me. More and more that person seems like you! And lately, I can't seem to get you off my damn mind. It's aggravating!"

The photographer's eyes seemed to have grown twice their size. "So what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying I finally realized you're the guy who will always be there. So maybe you're worth keeping around," Umeda replied, trying to ignore his embarrassment.

Akiha felt a slow smile beginning to grow across his face. It wasn't a love confession. It was close enough. It was a chance. A spark of hope that he could grasp on to and hold.

"I want you to make love to me," Umeda said bluntly.

"What?" the photographer blinked hard. He was being blind sided by to much happiness at once.

The doctor flushed. "Not for a quick fix, but because I think it will help me to decide. No one else makes me feel the same way you do with just a kiss. I need to find out if this is just lust or something more."

"And if you decide it was just lust?" Akiha inquired, swallowing hard.

Umeda sighed. "Then you got a night with me you always wanted. And we just weren't meant to be anything other than this."

"I can't risk that," the photographer shook his head.

The doctor stepped up to the other man. He grabbed the back of Akiha's head and dragged him down for another kiss. This one was long, slow and deep. There were a thousand promises and unknown possibilities in it. It sent shivers down Akiha's spin. They pulled apart reluctantly.

"Take a fucking chance, Akiha. You may never get it again," Umeda challenged him.

The photographer stared down at the man he loved. "Alright, but I want to do this my way. I wanna make love to you properly."

"Ok," Umeda agreed with out a fuss much to the other man's astonishment.

Akiha leaned down to kiss him gently before taking his hand. The photographer led the older man into his bedroom. It was amusing and a little odd to Umeda to be led into his own room. No one had ever done that before. But then sex had always been fierce, fast, and all about the pleasure. He already had the feeling that this experience would be entirely different from anything he was used to. He promised himself he would play by Akiha's rules. After all, he had talked the man into putting aside his noble intentions and morals.

The photographer stopped Umeda a few steps from the bed. He helped Umeda out of his suit jacket before his long fingers made quick work of the buttons on his shirt. As he divested the doctor of his clothes, Akiha dropped kisses along Umeda's jaw. His fingers and mouth moved downward steadily leaving trails of pleasure in their wake. Umeda moaned softly as Akiha bit lightly and sucked on his collar bone. The doctor reached up to unbutton the photographer's shirt with hasty fingers. He needed to feel bare skin. He needed more than teasing. He gasped as Akiha's fingers racked down his now naked chest. A thousand tingles skated up his spin and settled heavy in his cock. Akiha's mouth closed over his right nipple, sweeping across it with the flat of tongue. Umeda whimpered.

God, these simple touches were turning the doctor on faster than he would have thought. Maybe it was the heat of Akiha's mouth over his skin. Or the smooth, light feel of those long, elegant fingers. Either way, Umeda was incredibly hard and his attention was focused only on what the photographer did next. He had completely forgotten about trying to get Akiha's clothes off.

Akiha's hands continued their task of stripping the doctor naked. The mere idea that he would soon be seeing Umeda in his entire unclothed glory was almost to much for the photographer. He'd fantasized about this moment for years. He'd longed for it and waited patiently for it. Now, he would finally see it all. His fingers began to work quickly to undo Umeda's belt. The desire to see the doctor naked called to him like a siren's song. He soon had the pants unbuttoned and unzipped. He hooked his fingers into the waist line and dragged them down, boxers and all. Carefully, he maneuvered Umeda the rest of the way out of them. He swiftly steered the doctor to the bed and gently pushed him down.

Umeda flopped back onto his bed and propped himself up on his elbows. He watched as Akiha went still and just stared down at him. Somehow, it wasn't uncomfortable to be gazed at like that. The look of lust and appreciation in Akiha's eyes was only another surprising turn on. The doctor had a feeling that if the photographer had a camera in his hands right now he would have just shot an entire roll of film.

"You're beautiful, Umeda," Akiha breathed.

The doctor really was. He looked almost ethereal, spread out nude on the bed with the moonlight pouring in through the curtains, lighting up his skin. Akiha's eyes roamed every inch of his love's body once more. Then he quickly divested himself of his own clothing. He saw desire flare in Umeda's eyes as he crawled onto the bed. He straddled Umeda's waist, making them groan as their erections rubbed together. The friction was exquisite, but not nearly enough. Akiha kissed the doctor, passion and desire pouring out of him in waves. His hands skimmed down Umeda's chest as he broke away. He kissed a path down the doctor's chest and stomach. His hand closed over the doctor's erection as his mouth reached Umeda's navel.

Umeda whimpered desperately and couldn't stop his hips from thrusting into the fist that held him. Fuck, he couldn't take much more teasing. He was nearly ready to beg for anything. This pleasurable torture was nearly driving him mad. He twisted and moaned as Akiha's hand stroked over him in long, smooth strokes. Akiha smiled at the needy sounds escaping past the doctor's lips. He pulled back far enough to get his first close up look of Umeda's cock. It was perfect. Not to large or small, smooth, and velvety in his hand. Pre-cum was already glistened in the slit.

The need to taste the doctor was overwhelming. Before he realized it his mouth as on Umeda and his tongue swiping up the first drops of pre-cum. Above him, Umeda moaned roughly as his hips rolled upwards. Akiha's mouth closed over the doctor's cock and began to pleasure him in earnest. The taste, feel, smell, and sound of Umeda all around him seemed to drown out everything else. He moaned as the doctor's hand buried themselves in his hair and scraped over his scalp.

Akiha pulled back long enough to suck his fingers until they were wet. He glanced up to see Umeda watching him with slightly glazed eyes. He smiled before swallowing Umeda's cock once more. He was amazed to feel the doctor spread his legs wider as his fingers whispered over Umeda's tight opening. He swirled his tongue over the head of Umeda's cock and sucked hard, as he pushed one finger deep inside the doctor. He moaned as Umeda's body gave way to him willingly. A second finger joined the first. The tight heat had Akiha fighting to not come as he imagined it around his cock. Never had he had a lover so willingly open himself to him. It was a silent invitation to take everything that was offered.

"Akiha," the doctor spoke for the first time since the hallway.

The photographer didn't need him to say anything else. Neither one of them could wait a moment longer. Passion and arousal was flooding through Akiha. He needed to be inside Umeda. He let the doctor's cock slip from his lips as he sat back. He gasped in surprise as Umeda's hand closed around his throbbing cock. The slick, wet feel of lube spreading down his length was a momentary shock. The doctor stroked him a few times, making sure he was properly coated, before pulling away.

Akiha leaned over Umeda, positioning his cock at the doctor's entrance. This was the moment for both of them that decided everything. At the first touch of Akiha's blunt head against him, Umeda's eyes fluttered shut. Never had he wanted to be filled so badly as in that moment. Umeda started a little when Akiha's hands suddenly framed his face. His eyes snapped open to stare up into the photographer's eyes.

"Don't close your eyes," Akiha entreated desperately. "I want you to see only me. So you can't pretend it's anyone else. Not even for a moment..."

He thrust into Umeda in one strong, smooth stroke. The doctor gasped sharp and breathy as Akiha buried himself completely within him. His body bowed up into the photographer's of its own accord. Akiha watched Umeda's eyelids flutter, but his eyes stayed open and locked on the photographer's. Akiha prayed this wasn't another dream. This was to much like heaven. Umeda looked so fucking beautiful. It was almost surreal.

He blinked in surprise as Umeda reached up to pull him down into a deep kiss as his hips flexed down. The both gasped at the delicious friction that created. Akiha moaned as the doctor sucked on his bottom lip. The photographer slowly pulled out and thrust back in deeper. The tight feel of Umeda's body around him nearly stole his breath from his body. He almost came when the doctor made the most sexy, breathy whimper of need he'd ever heard. Everything about Umeda was overwhelmingly intoxicating. Umeda was drawing him in and holding him tight with his entire body–inside and out. It was incredible.

Umeda ripped his mouth away from Akiha's. "Move! God, move! I need–," he moaned sharply when the photographer pulled out nearly all the way before slamming back in. His head fell back as lightning bolts of pleasure shot up his spin. "Ah...yes...like that!"

Akiha moved slow, but deep, intent on making this feeling last as long as possible. Umeda arched and moved with him like it was a dance. He didn't beg or growl after that for Akiha to go faster, which surprised the photographer a little. He was as attentive to Akiha as the photographer was to him. Umeda's hands never seemed to stop moving. Where ever the doctor's hands traveled feather light tingles followed in places that made Akiha moan. Most amazing of all was that Umeda kept his eyes trained on the photographer's face. The doctor's eyes were so intense–filled with smokey passion and a softness Akiha had never seen.

Oh God, it was so hot. Umeda was better than any fantasy Akiha had ever created in his mind. The photographer hooked his arms around the doctor's legs and pressed them closer to his chest. His next thrust in had Umeda throwing his head back with a broken whine of pleasure. Akiha felt pleasure skitter down his spin at the look on the doctor's face. Tears built up slowly in the corners of Umeda's eyes until they dripped free and skated down his cheeks. The photographer couldn't help leaning forward to catch a few of the salty tears on his tongue. He began to thrust a little faster. He made sure to hit Umeda's sweet spot on every other thrust.

Their dance of pleasure began to take on a more desperate, needy edge as they grew ever closer to their climax. Akiha began to pant with the effort to not speed up any further. His thighs trembled with near overwhelming urge to pound into the doctor. Akiha could almost feel the orgasm coiling inside Umeda as the doctor began to quake beneath him. The little sounds Umeda made were taking on a pleading note. Akiha increased his pace again, pulling nearly all the way out only to thrust back in harder every time now. The doctor threw his head back as his back arched up off the mattress. His nails were clawing groves into Akiha's arms, but the photographer didn't care. Umeda was so fucking close. It was right there. Almost...almost...

Umeda's orgasm felt like it was ripped out of him. He cried out as pleasure overwhelmed his senses and everything else seemed to fade around him. Akiha watched the doctor come undone beneath him, trying desperately to stave off his own orgasm. He wanted to watch every second of Umeda's release. In those brief moments, the doctor looked so wild and passionate that Akiha couldn't hold off his own release any longer. The photographer followed Umeda into blissful pleasure with an answering cry of his own. The two gripped each other tight as their bodies sang to the gratification rocketing through them.

Eventually, the pleasure began to subside. Umeda collapsed against the mattress as Akiha slipped his spent cock free of the doctor. Umeda stared up at the photographer, who was still propped up on his elbows above him. No one had ever made love to the doctor. No one had ever made him feel that much passion and feeling from the simple act of sex. He'd felt cherished and wanted. He'd known in those moments that he made the right chose in Akiha. It was somehow frightening also to know that the photographer loved him that intensely. Could he ever return it?

He started a little when Akiha leaned down to kiss him softly. It chased away the fears for the moment. He would figure it all out in the morning . For now, he just wanted to enjoy what was being so freely offered to him. He didn't want to over think anything. He certainly didn't want to scare himself away from doing what was right for both of them. So he returned the photographer's kiss with gentle fervor. He thanked the man without words for the wonderful experience he had received.

Akiha rolled to the side onto his back. He reached over and firmly tugged the doctor against him. Umeda resisted for about half a second before giving in. What the hell, why not? He thought as shifted into a comfortable position in the other man's arms. Neither said a word as they laid there together quietly. Soon tiredness began to creep over the doctor. Before he realized it he was fast asleep.

Akiha smiled down at Umeda. The contented look on the doctor's face was beautiful. He tightened his arms around Umeda for a moment, just enjoying the feel of his love's body in his arms at last. God, he had waited for this for years. It hadn't been sex or kissing or any of that he had fantasied so much about but this; lying with Umeda in his arms. He'd certainly had his fair share of dirty dreams and x-rated thoughts about the doctor. It was this that he'd longed for most all. Because somehow this meant it was all real. It meant permanence. And now he finally had that with Umeda. It was better than any present he'd ever received.

He'd only seen the doctor asleep once before this. That one fleeting glance of seeing Umeda so relaxed and at peace had stayed with him. It was something he hoped to see because Umeda was happy being with him. Now he had it. He just wanted to stay awake and watch the doctor's contented face all night. He gathered the doctor closer to him so he could bury his face in Umeda's neck. The combined scents of sex, sweat, and Umeda's own scent was soothing and arousing.

He sighed happily. _Thank you, God_, he thought with a smile as he let himself drift off to sleep.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Be a responsible reader and review!!

Please please tell me if you liked it! Thank you to everyone for all of the reviews. You're all wonderful. Thanks to all the dedicated readers who keep returning. Stick around! One more chapter to go!


	10. Chapter 10Conclusions

Disclaimer: Not mine. I just take liberties with the characters.

A/N: Yes, it is the last chapter. Sorry it took so long to update. My inspiration temporarily took a shit. But it came back! So here you have it. The final installment.

Lemon warning! Woot! Anyone wanna see Akiha play uke!?...Yeah that's what I thought. Me too. There is a flash back so watch for it. It'll all be in _italics. _:D

**H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.**

Umeda woke up to find himself entwined in Akiha's arms. Light was filtering in through the blinds dimly, attesting to the earliness of the hour. He laid there for a moment staring at the blond's face. Suddenly, everything that had happened between them seemed to loom in front of him. Akiha had been amazing. More than amazing; he had been loving. Yet, it all was a little to much to handle at the moment. In fact, it scared the hell out of him how well everything had gone. And that wasn't normal for him. Something bad was bound to happen after this right?

Suddenly he couldn't lay there anymore. He wriggled out of Akiha's arms, leaned over the man, and grabbed his smokes. He scrambled to the end of the bed. His hands shook a little as a lite a smoke. The first drag only relaxed him a little. He flinched when he heard Akiha rouse. He heard the photographer sit up slowly. An awkward, tense silence seemed to drift over them.

"So what now?" Akiha asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I don't know," Umeda replied honestly. Sitting there like this was like backwards deja vu. It was Umeda sitting at the end of the bed with Akiha the one waiting sickeningly for rejection. But there was a big difference between them. Akiha was much stronger than him emotionally. And Umeda wasn't planning on rejecting the photographer. He had realized last night that he wanted to keep Akiha. He just didn't know what to say or how to say it. He was so out of his league with all of this.

The photographer smiled shakily. "I'll give you as much time and space as you need to work this out."

"No!" Umeda said sharply, surprising them both. "I mean just be you, Akiha. Yell at me, glomp me, and be overly happy. Just be you. I might just take me some time to really get used to us being...this."

Akiha looked relieved and happy. "Alright, sempai."

"So don't be shocked if I still hit you and abuse you." Umeda muttered.

"It's like a reflex, right Sempai?" Akiha laughed.

Umeda sighed in irritation. "Yeah, and for God's sake stop calling me Sempai. I haven't been your sempai in years."

The photographer frowned. "What should I call you then?"

"What ever you want."

Akiha grinned slyly. "Ok, Hokuto." He said the name like it was a sexual promise.

Umeda hunched his shoulders and tried to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks. No one had ever called him by his first name so intimately. It sent shivers down his spin. That could take some getting used to. Akiha smirked at his new lover's reaction. He crawled down to the end of the bed. He leaned in close enough so his breath washed damply over the doctor's neck. "Hokuto," he murmured, leaning in more to nip and suck at the doctor's bared neck. A tremor rocked Umeda's slender body as goose bumps raised over his flesh. Akiha grinned widely at his new discovery.

Umeda leaned back into the photographer's body. He turned his head to kiss that torturing mouth. Akiha sighed softly. He couldn't wait to find out more about the doctor's little quirks and turn ons. It would be a constant new exciting game of discovery. And Akiha would never grow bored of it. The photographer smiled as he wrapped his arms around Umeda and held him tight. They sat there after that for quite some time in comfortable silence.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Akiha quietly pushed the door to Umeda's office open. It had been one month since the two of them had quietly begun dating. It had now become customary for them to meet up every day for lunch. Today, it was his turn to come get Umeda. He peeked in carefully and smiled mischievously when he saw that his lover's back was turned. Umeda had his chair swivelled around so that he could look out the window into the school grounds. He looked like he would have rather been outside than sitting there. Good thing he had come to whisk his love away to a delicious lunch. He snuck through the door and across the room. Akiha draped himself across Umeda's shoulders. The doctor tensed out of habit but relaxed a moment later. "Good afternoon, my love!"

"Hello, Akiha," Umeda answered calmly.

"Is that all you say when you see me?" The photographer pouted.

The doctor 's reflection in glass smirked. "At least I say your name now without it sounding like poison."

Akiha chuckled and dropped kisses down the back of his lover's neck. "Very true," he breathed. "Thank you for this morning by the way."

"You're welcome. Was it worth it?" Umeda turned his head and smiled at him.

The photographer grinned back. "Definitely," he replied, as the last several days passed through his mind leading up to that morning...

"_I'm not gonna keep playing uke to you all the time," Umeda snapped, shoving the photographer away. _

_Akiha protested. "But you like to."_

"_It's not the only thing I like doing!" the doctor growled. _

"_Sei said it was," the photographer remarked._

"_He'll also tell you he got fucked by me quite a few times too," Umeda replied evenly._

_Akiha whined. "I don't want to play bottom today."_

_Umeda rolled his eyes. "Why not?"_

"_I just don't want to," the photographer restated. _

_The doctor narrowed his eyes. "When's the last time you bottomed?" he asked shrewdly._

_The photographer flushed. "College," he admitted._

"_Uh huh. Let me guess...bad experience?" Umeda quirked one eye brow at him._

"_Well, yes!"_

"_That was one bad lover, Akiha," Umeda sighed._

"_Still..."_

_The doctor was starting to get irritated again. "And you don't trust me to be a good lover?"_

"_I never said that!"_

"_You pretty much implied it in all your whining."_

_Akiha looked taken aback. "It's just been a long time."_

"_I'm not letting you fuck me again until I get to do you," Umeda presented his trump card._

"_You wouldn't!" Akiha yelped._

_The doctor sneered. "Oh yes I would."_

"_But!"_

_Umeda turned away. "I can hold out a lot longer than you, Akiha. You'll be begging for me long before I give up."_

_Akiha stared at his back. "You're so cruel."_

"_Yep."_

"_Let me think about it," the photographer said, before walking away with a pout on his lips._

H.a.n.a K.i.m.i.

_Umeda was true to his word. He would only let Akiha kiss, touch, fondle, and everything else in between. As soon as he tried to turn to love making, Umeda turned away or rejected away. This went on for a week until Akiha was sure he would break down. He needed that intimacy with the doctor desperately. Because despite them being a real couple now, he still worried. And these rejections to be allowed to make love were striping him of the only way he felt entirely connected to Umeda. It was like being told he wasn't wanted anymore, even though he knew that wasn't the case. _

_He laid in bed beside a sleeping Umeda after being turned down for the seventh night in a row. He didn't think he could take anymore. But was he willing to play bottom? Umeda had every right to be offended by Akiha's refusal. He realized now that he had in so many words told Umeda that he didn't believe he'd be a good lover. That wasn't the case at all. Umeda was always such an attentive lover when Akiha topped. He knew beyond a doubt the doctor would be as amazing as a top. The photographer was just extremely nervous. _

_The last time he had bottomed had truly been a bad experience. For some reason, he always got crushes on straight or unattainable guys. It had been back in college, senior year, when he should have been over such silliness. This guy had been straight, handsome, and unattainable. Akiha had wanted him. There had been a night where he, his crush, and several others had all gone out drinking. Akiha had gotten bold and stolen a kiss. His crush had not freaked out. To Akiha's shock, the guy had actually offered to fuck him. God, he should have known better. _

_The man had only been interested in his own pleasure. He'd never been with another man, but claimed he knew how. Akiha, and his crush, had been way to drunk to really be doing anything like fucking. The man had done nothing to pleasure Akiha. He'd barely prepared the poor photographer before getting inside him. Even through his alcoholic haze the pain had shocked him. In fact, it had sobered him up incredibly quick. It had seemed to last forever before the guy finally got off. They had both simply passed out. _

_In the morning, Akiha had been in to much pain to even move. The guy had apologized immensely, but the damage had quite literally already been done. He had explained to Akiha that his girlfriend had dumped him yesterday. Being roaring drunk and out of his mind with anger had made him irrational. So not only was Akiha injured, but he'd been used like any common whore. He thought that kind of treatment would scar anybody emotionally._

_Akiha had been unable to go to classes for three days. When he had managed to get up he barely made it to the bathroom. Even three years after it all, the experience was still far to fresh in his mind. It was hard to just forget being treated like that. He really should have explained it all to Umeda, but his pride and insecurities had gotten in the way. _

_He glanced over at Umeda's peaceful face. He loved the man completely. But he knew in order for them to really make it work between them he'd have to make some sacrifices. He'd also have to learn to trust and communicate openly when things upset him. Any relationship was doomed if those three things were ignored. Akiha wasn't going to lose something he'd only just gained after years of fighting for it. He made up his mind to let Umeda have him. With that weight off his mind, he finally managed to drift off to sleep. _

_Akiha awoke to the pleasant feel of warm lips nipping at his neck. He sighed happily as a strong, calloused hand trailed down his chest to tweak his nipples. Ripples of pleasure slowly awakened and aroused his sleepy mind. He was unsurprised to note that a certain part of him was very much awake. A small puddle of pre-cum was already gathering just below his navel. He shivered as those clever fingers trailed down his stomach, circled his navel, and smeared cum over his belly. He moaned as that hand teased over the head and slit of his cock. A moment later, he was grasped firmly and stroked in one fluid motion._

"_Let me fuck you," Umeda breathed against his neck. His voice was rough from sleep and heavy with lust._

_Akiha hesitated for only a moment. "Yes."_

_A growl of happy arousal reverberated against his throat. There was a quick flurry of motion. When it was done, Umeda was straddling Akiha's calves. His right hand was still on the photographer's cock as he coated his other hand awkwardly with a bottle of lube. Akiha tensed as he saw that hand drift down between his legs. Involuntarily, he tried to draw his legs together._

_Umeda leaned forward and kissed his inner thighs. "Relax. Trust me."_

_At these words, Akiha's legs lost their rigid tension. He let himself be spread open as Umeda slipped his slick fingers down to Akiha's puckered opening. Umeda's right hand twisted and rubbed expertly over the hyper sensitive area on the head of the photographer's cock. The move sent shockwaves of sensation bolting up Akiha's spin. He whimpered as the doctor's other hand breached him for the first time. It felt strange to have that feeling down there after so long. And it was just one finger. It didn't hurt...yet._

_Umeda slowly thrust his finger in and out as he kept Akiha's focus on his cock. After a few moments, the photographer began to moan and rock his hips a little with the strokes over his cock. Umeda carefully inserted a second finger. Akiha's breath only hitched for a second. The doctor leaned forward to swipe his tongue over the length and head of the photographer's cock. Akiha gasped and arched up into the brief, moist touch. The doctor crooked his fingers inside his lover, searching for that sweet spot. _

_Akiha's eyes flew wide open a moment later as pleasure suddenly exploded up his nerves. "Ah! God!" He yelped. He'd forgotten what kind of incredible sensations that one spot brought when manipulated properly. All his anxiety melted away as his lover stroked over that spot again and again. He was soon a writhing mess of arousal and need. He hadn't even noticed the addition of a third finger. The mild burn of being stretched was over shadowed by pleasure. He was more than ready when Umeda withdrew his fingers. He was unprepared when the doctor suddenly_ _ordered him to turn over. _

"_Why?" he protested._

"_Because it will be more comfortable for you in the long run. Now shut up and turn over," Umeda explained briefly. His impatient tone had Akiha rolling over quickly. He didn't want his lover to quit now. They both needed this badly. It had been way to long for the both of them. _

_Umeda pulled the photographer to his knees and pushed down between his shoulder blades. "Lower you chest until your stomach's almost on the mattress. Don't try to hold yourself up with your arms. Just relax," Umeda instructed._

_Akiha did as he was told. He moaned loudly as Umeda kissed a path down his spin that ended at the cleft of his ass. A moment later, he felt the doctor grab his hips. The blunt head of the doctor's cock against his entrance. He took a deep, long breath forcing himself not to tense. Then Umeda was thrusting forward, slow and smooth. In one continuous motion, he buried himself inside of Akiha. The photographer sucked in a harsh breath. It burned and the feeling of being filled again was familiar and yet new. _

_Umeda stayed still for a few seconds until he was sure his lover was adjusted to the feeling. Then he couldn't stay still any longer. He had staved off his lust and the wild need to pound Akiha's ass for to long. He needed to move. And, God, the photographer was so fucking tight around him. It was like being inside a virgin. He began to thrust, trying to keep his movements slow and steady. Akiha moved with him, feeling the burn fade into a strange kind of pleasant friction. Then suddenly Umeda snapped his hips in at different angle. His cock struck Akiha's sweet spot with perfect accuracy. The photographer keened loudly as shocks of sensation raced up his spin and back down into his cock. After that he was lost. Nothing else mattered, but the feel of Umeda moving inside him and the continuous lightning bolts of pleasure that seemed to reverberate through his brain and his cock. It was amazing and still not quite enough. _

"_Ah–please!" he gasped._

"_Please what?" the doctor asked through gritted teeth._

"_Harder or faster. Ah! Shit! Anything!" He begged shamelessly._

_Umeda chuckled darkly and increased his pace. He leaned over his lover to bite down onto his shoulder as Umeda snapped his hips forward fast and rough. Akiha was practically babbling filth none stop. It was so fucking hot and yet amusing to hear the photographer using such language. He felt his orgasm beginning to build in the base of his cock. He knew he couldn't hold out much longer. _

_He reached around and grasped Akiha's cock at the base. He blinked in surprise at the amount of pre-cum coating his fingers. It felt like his lover had already come, there was so much of it. Akiha was in total ecstasy. His entire body seemed to be alive with pleasure. His hips bucked and undulated wildly as Umeda's hand and cock drove him rapidly towards release. He whimpered and keened as his body began to tremble with impending orgasm. He could feel it rushing in like a tsunami wave. Closer–closer!_

"_Ahh! Fuck! Please!" He sobbed down into the mattress. He needed it. Wanted it. He couldn't stand it. Then it crashed over him so suddenly it took him by surprise. He cried out desperately as bliss flooded through him. All he could do was dig his fingers into the sheets and let the gratification rush through him. _

_The feel of Akiha coming all over Umeda's hand and his insides tightening around the doctor's cock like a vice was to much. Umeda's orgasm was ripped from him so fast and so fierce it was almost painful. He'd definitely held back longer than he thought he should have._ _He seemed to cum forever until at last Akiha's body had wrung every drop from his cock. He panted heavily like a dog under a hot sun as his came down from his high. _

_Beneath him, Akiha was still trembling with little after shocks of post orgasmic bliss. He groaned as Umeda pulled freed of him. The doctor laughed as cum flooded out after his cock and trickled down Akiha's thighs and ass. He stared at his lover's ass–reddened and dripping cum. He felt his cock give a half hearted twitch of arousal, but he was spent for now. That fucking had been long overdue. Akiha had collapsed onto the mattress. He protested weakly as Umeda gently rolled him over. The photographer watched as the doctor cleaned the cum from his fingers with his tongue. There was something incredibly sexy about watching another man taste his seed. _

"_Not as bad as you thought, huh?" Umeda smirked._

_Akiha smiled at his lover's smug face. "Definitely worth a repeat."_

"_Oh yes. But now I think it's time to shower and to get ready for work."_

"_Urgh! You are so unromantic!" The photographer groaned, pulling a pillow over his head. _

"_Well, that's your job–not mine. After all you look and act more like an uke than I do," the doctor laughed as he got to his feet._

_Akiha threw the pillow off and propped himself up on his elbows. "I do not!"_

_Umeda grinned. " Might want to take a look in the mirror before you say that."_

_The photographer glanced to the mirror hanging on the closet door and froze. His long, blond hair was disheveled, face flushed, his stomach was covered in cum, and more cum was still trickling out of him onto the sheets. He looked completely scandalous. He blushed hard, unable to look away._

"_Mmmm...," Umeda sighed. "I want to fuck you again. You look beautiful like that."_

"_To bad you don't have time," Akiha stuck out his tongue._

"_To bad for you, you mean," the doctor shot back._

_The photographer wiggled his eyebrows. "I can always fuck you in the shower."_

_Umeda smiled as he walked towards the bathroom and paused in the doorway. "Now there's an idea. But only if you can make it into the bathroom before I lock the door."_

_Akiha was on his feet in an instant, racing across the bedroom. He skidded through the door before it was even half shut. He slid his hand between Umeda's ass cheeks and teased his entrance. The doctor moaned loudly. _

"_Your neighbors are gonna hate us," the photographer laughed. _

"_Shut up and get in the shower," Umeda ordered, shoving him in that direction. _

_The sound of the water almost drowned out the sounds of their voices as they fucked. Almost..._

"Hey Hokuto?" Akiha's voice brought them both back to the present.

Umeda forced himself to not cringe. How could he use his first name so easily like that in public. It was gonna take a while to get over the muscle memory reaction. What was that saying about getting rid of bad habits? "Yes, Akiha?"

"Can I move in with you now we're so in love!" The photographer kissed his neck sloppily.

"Urgh!" Umeda smacked at him. "Don't get ahead of yourself! This thing between us only just started. And I'm no where near wanting you around that much!"

The photographer pouted. "Ahhh! Hokuto! You're so mean! Don't you love me?!"

"I think you're the only one that's said that so far. I'm still deciding," the doctor replied coldly.

Akiha smirked. "That's ok, because I know who makes you feel best in bed. Me!" He stole a kiss before dancing out of reach.

Umeda jumped to his feet and grabbed the photographer before he could get away again. He yanked Akiha into a fierce, short kiss before letting go. "Everything in good time, alright? We've got a lot of time together ahead of us."

"Alright." Akiha said, giving his love a brilliant smile. Umeda might as well have said they had forever together. That made him want to jump and sing for joy. He would bid his time too. One day they would live together. One of these days, Umeda would really confess to him, because they both knew he was in love too. So with those happy moments in the future, Akiha could be content to wait. It would only make those moments that much more sweet.

"Come on," Umeda said, taking Akiha's hand. "Let's go to lunch."

The End.

**H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.**

Be a responsible reader and review!

Omg, it's over!...

I really hope you all enjoyed this final chapter. I can't thank everyone enough for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten. You've all been so kind and so passionate about this story. I feel like I really shared something special with you guys and was so happy to have it received so whole heartedly. I wanna thank all of the returning readers for the ridiculous amounts of hits this story has. It may not have a crap load of reviews, but the hits speak volumes on how many of you came back over and over to keep reading. That makes me very happy.

Extra special thanks to my favorite returning reviewers:

**Ketsueki-Ken**- I know what you mean about being embarrassed to read that kinda stuff. I get so emotionally attached to characters sometimes it's hard to watch or read about them doing things.

**fan girl 666**

**ayafangirl**- Hey look, I updated just for you! That was the funniest coincidence ever! Believe me you deserved to have that chapter dedicated to you. You're my best reviewer!

**aPpLecHeRrY**

**JiraiyasGirl**

**Rinc**

Songs that inspired the story and the characterizations:

Umeda's song: Your woman, by: White Town

(This song seriously sounds like a jilted, gay lover. Especially since it's sung by a man. If you haven't heard it in a while I recommend looking it up. Listen to it with that and Umeda in mind.)

Ryoichi's song: Pretty When You Cry, by: Vast

(This is a rather cruel, sad, and sweet song when you listen to the lyrics. It's a mess of contradictions. It suits Ryoichi perfectly. Definitely worth a listen.)

Akiha's Song: Bad Case of Loving You, by: Robert Palmer

(Obviously the theme song for the whole story. Much love for this song.)

Sei's Song: Faith, by: George Michaels

(Ironically, I picked up this song from one of Guitar Guy's acts. He's awesome. Look him up. Anyways, the song is just so Sei. It makes me giggle and sing loudly along with it whenever I hear it.)

Reiji's Song: Bizarre Lover Triangle, by Stabbing Westward

(You'll get it when you hear it. It's everything Reiji was feeling during the story.)

**Thanks again everyone!! **

P.S.: If you like Sensual Phrase and yaoi keep an eye out. I have a story coming out shortly in that department. It will be an AtsuroxTowa story. So please come back for that. :D And you never know, Akiha and Umeda might come back for more later on.


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